The Crow King's Wife (The Elder Blood Chronicles #5)(61)

“I held that which I most desire for a few breaths and pushed it away from me again.” Finn whispered. “If this is destiny I’m going to kill the Aspect of Fate.”

Despair hung about Finn like a shroud and Seth fell silent once more as he considered his lord. He wasn’t the right man for this sort of situation. Finn needed someone with a gift of words, and without his charm magic Seth knew words were woefully inadequate. “I suppose I could kill Valor for you.” He offered at last, when no other suggestion came to mind.

“I fail to see how your offer to kill my best friend is supposed to lighten my spirits.” Finn grumbled. He flicked the game piece once more and sent it spinning from the table before collapsing back into his chair to glare at Seth once more.

“Well on one hand it would free Jala for you, and if that fails well then it will piss you off and pull you from your mewling depression.” Seth explained with a weak shrug.

“Mewling depression.” Finn repeated dully and seemed to contemplate the words. After a long moment he gave a grudging nod. “I suppose that is the best description for me at the present.”

“Summon the entertainers. Listen to some music. Devise some new torture for one of the condemned souls. Visit a temple and f*ck an acolyte. Just do something, Finn. Find some way to get your mind off of what you can’t have. You are a Divine. You will never have Jala again. You will never lead a normal life again.” He leaned forward as he spoke forcing Finn to hold his gaze and willing him to listen to every word he spoke. He knew it was harsh, but he couldn’t think of a kind way to speak the words. They needed to be said and Finn had told him to speak bluntly. “You had accepted it before. Why are you backtracking now?” Seth added with irritation thick in his voice.

“I don’t know.” Finn admitted sadly. He let out a heavy sigh and placed both hands over his face rubbing at his eyes.

“At least some part of that was supposed to piss you off.” Seth informed him dryly.

Finn’s hands fell away from his face and he smiled bitterly at Seth. “I know, and it should have, but even when I kindle the faintest spark of anger it fades too quickly to seize. Even Fiona isn’t getting under my skin and she normally has me ready to slit her throat by the time I finish my first cup of tea in the morning.”

“You are Firym.” Seth reminded him through gritted teeth.

“I was. Now I’m Death.” Finn corrected quietly.

“Bloody buggering hell.” Seth muttered darkly and simply stared at Finn in disbelief. He found himself at an utter loss on how to stir the man from his mood. “Lutheron, Madren, Rivasa, Avanti, non-alcoholic beverages.” Seth chanted the words and watched Finn closely.

Finn gave a weak snort of amusement and raised an eyebrow at Seth. “Non-alcoholic beverages?” he asked.

Seth shrugged one shoulder. “I ran out of people you hate so I tossed in a random thing you hate.” He explained with a sigh. “I’m trying here, Finn. What’s it going to take?”

“Legacy, maybe. That might give purpose. I still have my son at least.” Finn muttered then looked at Seth hopefully. “Have you spoken with Jala? Did you make amends?”

Seth stared at him for a long moment wondering how far Finn had let his attention go in his depression. He should have known the answer to that. “Finn, you know I haven’t. You should know I haven’t left the Darklands at all. When you returned from Merro Fiona was frantic over your mood. She pleaded with me to stay close. The crazy bitch seems to believe I have some sort of mystical power over you.” Seth snorted with disgust and waved a hand lazily toward Finn. “As we can both see I obviously do not.”

“I should have known that.” Finn mumbled and for a moment the grief was gone from his eyes replaced by concern. His gaze moved to the massive double doors and Seth knew he was contemplating the creatures that dwelled beyond them.

“They will be gathering power. You are showing them weakness and they will be preparing to go for your throat.” Seth said quietly.

Finn turned back to him and nodded slowly. “I wish them luck of it.” He spoke the words softly but they hit Seth like a blow to the face.

“If they kill you the sunlit world is damned.” Seth promised him coldly. He rose from his chair and paced back from the table as his irritation crested to anger. “Your life is what you make of it Finn Sovaesh. This dismal hole you live in is your predecessor’s creation. Take it and make it your own. Change it to suit you, rebuild the Darklands to fit your needs. Don’t just give up, because I promise you if you fall I will seize your power and I will destroy them all.”

“Why?” Finn asked and Seth simply stared at him in response. He wasn’t sure if Finn was asking why he should rebuild or why he would destroy them all, but the man didn’t look inclined to elaborate.

“Let’s take the most noble of them for starters. Elijah Arovan. He was a warlord beyond the barrier and he has more blood on his hands than I do. He destroyed entire worlds in his conquests without a glimmer of regret. Yet here he acts as if he is some sort of Paladin or righteous hero. He is a hypocrite of the highest extreme. Then there is Jin Han’shy. He was a member of the Dark Brotherhood. He has made most forget that of course and now pretends to be some pacifist, but I know his true nature. He is a murderer and a rapist with a penchant for cruelty that makes most of the demons you control seem like misbehaving children. They are all like that. Each and every one of them has a dark past that they pretend doesn’t exist and yet they have the audacity to call me monster?” Seth’s voice rose as his anger grew and he glowered upwards as if he could somehow see those he spoke of.