Smolder (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter, #29)(67)

28

I LAID A KISS on Jean-Claude’s bare chest where the robe had gaped, which was enough to have him look down at me through all our interlaced arms. I stared into the dark blue of his eyes and even hearing his doubts in my head I still loved him and believed in him. I really did. He smiled and some tension went out of his face and his mind.

“If you have faith in me, ma petite, then that is enough.”

We all drew back from the hug, and I turned to put my head against Nathaniel’s, so that our faces were next to each other. “Nathaniel taught me that when you truly love someone you believe in them even when things aren’t perfect.”

“I have faith in you both,” Nathaniel said.

Richard said, “I haven’t earned anyone’s faith in me yet, at least not any of you or your poly group, but I promise I will try to earn it from this point on.”

Nathaniel and I looked at him and I think our looks mirrored, because Richard asked, “What did I say to earn those looks?”

“You don’t mean to earn faith from me and the rest of the poly group through love, that’s only for Anita and Jean-Claude, right?” Nathaniel said.

“Yes, well . . .” He looked uncertain, then added, “Maybe one or two more people in the poly group, but no, I have to earn your faith through good actions and not abandoning everyone the minute things get weird.”

“Good,” Nathaniel said, and smiled. “For a minute there I thought you might be reading too many enemies-to-lovers romances, because that is not how I roll.”

I had a moment of wondering when Nathaniel had been reading romance novels, and he looked at me. “The foster family I was with the longest. The mom liked romance novels. It was what there was to read.”

“Why didn’t you stay with them?” Richard asked.

“Their own little boy got sick, really sick, and they had to concentrate on him. They were probably the nicest foster family I had while I was still in care.”

Jean-Claude and I hugged him, and Richard said, “I’m sorry, I had no right to ask such a personal question.”

“If I hadn’t wanted to answer it, I wouldn’t have.”

“I’m still sorry; I’m a teacher, I should know better.”

Nathaniel looked at him. “That’s the first time I’ve ever heard you mention your profession like that.”

“It was supposed to be one of the main reasons I didn’t want to be outed as a werewolf, so I should mention it more if that’s the truth.”

Nathaniel nodded, as if that made sense to him. It didn’t entirely to me, but I had learned to stop asking questions when things were working. “Showers are needed, then clothes for discussing business instead of date night,” Jean-Claude said.

“I don’t have anything but date clothes here,” I said, and gave him a look.

“My deepest apologies, ma petite, but some things cannot be foreseen.”

I nodded and leaned my head against his shoulder. “True, I just need out of these heels, please God.”

He laughed and it was that wonderful touchable laugh he could have where it shivered down your skin as if he’d touched you with something much more solid than just his voice. Nathaniel shivered against me reacting to it, and I felt Richard’s body startle as if it hadn’t entirely felt good to him, but he’d felt it. I rose up to look at him and realized that he’d always felt it just like I had. He was still wearing the mask so that his face looked like a stranger’s and like him, or like it was more him than it should have been behind the black leather. How hard it must have been for him to fight his attraction to Jean-Claude all these years.

“I sent for regular clothes for you,” Nathaniel said.

I turned so I could offer him a kiss. “You think of everything, thank you.”

He grinned and it reminded me of Jason’s grin that we hadn’t seen in person for so long. Again, I got a glimpse of him showering after the performance. I tried not to intrude on Jason much because the move to New York had given him a great new life with his ballerina, J.J., but tonight it was all about the wolves and I kept thinking about him, because he was my wolf. He looked up in the shower, his hair bright yellow from the water, and his blue eyes seemed bigger from the eyeliner he’d worn onstage. He stared up as if he saw me hovering above him the same way I’d have done for Jean-Claude. I don’t know why the visual was always above like that, it just was. Jason said, “Anita . . .”

Nathaniel put his face next to mine, so we were both smiling down at Jason. Jason’s face lit up, and we were left smiling at each other like idiots. He was one of our best friends and we both missed him fiercely.

“We’re about to get in the shower here,” Nathaniel said, “wish you could join us.”

A look of almost real pain crossed over Jason’s face, and then a stab of need so fierce went through him and into me, and through me into Nathaniel because we were too hooked up for me to protect Nathaniel. Jason’s need so was so strong it nearly doubled us over with physical need, and sorrow. How did Jason get this needy when he had J.J.? Nathaniel and I had both seen them together happy. J.J. had been one of my favorite female lovers early on, until I found some women closer to home. We still visited New York to see them, and they’d come to us, but not for a while. They were dancers in one of the best dance troupes in America and one of the best in the world, so that meant their life was dancing. They were either practicing, working out, or rehearsing for a new ballet or something more modern.