Out of Breath (Breathing, #3)(67)

‘What happens after two weeks, Evan?’ she demanded. Her turn to get right to the point.

I stopped before taking another sip, lowering the beer bottle from my mouth. ‘You know?’

‘Sara told me,’ Meg explained, sliding her hands into the back pockets of her jeans.

‘You and Sara are friends?’ I confirmed, trying to figure out how they were all connected, and who confided in who.

‘Yeah, we talk,’ she explained.

I nodded in understanding. So, she was Sara when Sara was in New York … or Paris. The only way Sara could truly know what was going on with Emma was to have someone looking out for her on this end. It wasn’t like Emma was going to volunteer the information, at least not the information that really mattered to Sara. But, why was everyone so … afraid?

‘Why does Emma need you all to protect her?’ I questioned. ‘What’s going on with her?’

Meg’s shoulders pulled back as she examined me closely. Then she looked away and twirled another foosball knob.

‘Meg, I’m not here to make things worse. I just want to understand what happened. Why she left like she did.’

‘I really don’t hate you, Evan,’ Meg said, completely sidestepping my question. ‘We’re leaving tonight to visit our families for a couple of weeks before summer quarter starts. We’ll be back when your two weeks are up. Just don’t leave her any worse than you found her … please.’

I was completely thrown by her statement. I wasn’t expecting this, to find Emma so … fragile. I knew she had a distorted way of looking at the world and her place in it. She always had – no thanks to the women who made it their mission to destroy her. But she was strong underneath it all, capable of doing anything – if she’d just realize it. So Sara was watching her vigilantly, Peyton basically threatened me, Meg asked me to be careful and Serena was on a crusade to save her – it didn’t add up to the girl who I believed in.

That girl was once full of life and confidence, even if she had a hard time seeing it herself. I had always known it was there. It was what had attracted me to her in the first place. And now … I couldn’t see it.

I was starting to wonder who the girl was that had landed in California over two years ago, and who she’d left behind in Weslyn.

Everyone began to leave about a half hour later. The girls were driving back to Palo Alto before heading to see their families. Sara, Cole and Emma were about to leave for the house when I asked Emma, ‘Will you go for a walk with me?’

I looked at Cole, who waited for me to answer, his eyes hardening when he looked back towards Evan.

‘Come on, Cole,’ Sara said, intervening and grabbing his arm. ‘Walk me home.’

I followed Evan to a set of stairs that looked more like a two-storey ladder. I held on tightly to the weathered wooden railing and took each step cautiously towards the beach. Evan walked down them as if he were walking on flat ground, and waited for me to catch up at the bottom.

‘Serena likes you,’ I said, shoving my hands in my sweatshirt pockets with my head down as we began our walk. ‘If I didn’t know her boyfriend, I’d think she had a thing for you.’

Evan laughed. ‘I’m sure he’s an interesting guy.’

‘You have no idea.’ I chuckled.

‘She’s probably the most optimistic person I’ve ever met,’ Evan said, glancing at me quickly. ‘I like her attitude. She’s not who I’d imagine she’d be just by looking at her.’

‘I know.’ I grinned. ‘That’s why she’s so great.’

We continued to walk along the beach, towards Cole’s house, which was just around the next bend.

‘Nate called me earlier. Since I’m here, he and the guys decided to come down early. They want to throw a party next Saturday, so they’ll be arriving on Friday.’

I nodded, not certain why this mattered, until he continued with, ‘But I was hoping we could still have the two weeks, like we originally agreed when I thought they wouldn’t be here.’

I stopped walking, causing him to turn to face me.

‘You don’t hate me yet, do you?’ Emma asked, her face suddenly drawn.

‘I still have twelve days,’ I quipped, not wanting to see that look on her face any longer. ‘Why don’t you give me another reason why I should?’

‘This isn’t a joke to me, you know.’ She sounded agitated. Her eyes narrowed as she stared at me with the wind whipping her hair in her face.

‘I know you’re serious. I just wish you weren’t.’ Shifting my tone, I repeated: ‘So tell me, why should I hate you, Emma?’

The anger I had at the sight of his grin dissipated when I looked into his flickering smoky-blue eyes. My heart twisted as I took a breath. I needed him to listen. I had to force him to understand why he needed to leave me alone, to move on with his life without me.

‘I left you.’ He flinched. ‘I left you in that house, alone and hurt. I ignored you when you called for me. Because I heard you. I did. But I didn’t stop walking. I left you alone when you needed me, and I never looked back.’ My eyes stung as the image of him on the floor, barely conscious and beaten, flashed through my head.

Emma was fighting to remain composed, but her voice shook as she delivered the last few words – which was the reason I could never hate her. Because I could see that what she’d done, the choices she had made, were destroying her.