Out of Breath (Breathing, #3)(133)

She bowed her head with her eyes closed.

‘This is about him, right?’

She nodded.

‘Why did he need to forgive you?’

‘Because I hurt him … just like you. I took his trust and used it against him, knowing I’d break him. And I did.’



‘He’s making a phone call,’ Sara told me, interrupting my pacing. ‘I’m sure there’s something more to this.’

‘So she never told you?’ Sara shook her head. ‘She’s kept this to herself for over two years?’ I clenched my jaw and began pacing again.

‘Evan, let’s just figure out what really happened first, okay?’

‘The night that the guy broke into my house,’ she began, her head still slumped forward, ‘Jonathan did fight him off me. But he beat him so bad, he stopped moving. And when I finally got Jonathan to stop, he didn’t even look human any more. There was blood … everywhere.’ Her voice faltered and her hands trembled. I remained on the bed next to her, trying to keep my breath even.

‘I helped him get rid of the body afterwards, and we lied to the police to cover it up.’

‘He was dead?’ I questioned. She nodded.



‘Jonathan didn’t kill him,’ Sara announced, hanging up the phone over an hour later, exhausted and shaky. ‘He beat the shit out of him, but the dealer was found in that parking lot with a bullet in his head. They ended up matching the gun to another shooting about six months later. I guess there was another douchebag at the bar, and this dealer didn’t exactly have the best reputation. So the douche took it upon himself to shoot him and take off with a trunkful of money and drugs.’

‘She thinks she helped kill him. She thinks she’s an accomplice to his murder.’

‘Is that why he asked you to forgive him, because he killed this guy?’ I asked, every inch of me rigid with anger.

‘No,’ she answered, her voice so low it barely made a sound.



‘He did kill his family,’ Sara told me, and I clenched my teeth in revulsion. ‘He pleaded guilty to lighting the fire that burned his mother, father and brother in their sleep. The trial was expedited, and he just got sentenced three days ago. My dad said that he was abused by his father pretty bad most of his life and suffered psychological damage. His psychiatrist testified on his behalf, and he ended up being sentenced to twenty years for first-degree manslaughter, required to serve ten. He’s at a medium-security prison in New York.’

‘You knew, and you didn’t do anything?!’ My voice grew louder. ‘You were going to let him get away with it?!’

‘I promised. And I know he’d do the same for me.’

After a deafening moment of silence, she stood up from the bed.

‘Where are you going?’

‘I have to find him. I know something bad has happened, and I couldn’t live with myself if I don’t go look for him. I’m sorry, but I have to leave.’



Emma had kept Jonathan’s secret to herself as she’d promised she would – until tonight. I thought I hated him before. The rage I felt now was about to incinerate me.

I sat down on the floor, against the wall, with my hands cradling my head. ‘She knew,’ I murmured. ‘She knew and chose to protect him, to keep his secret. He killed his family, and she didn’t say a word.’

‘Evan,’ Sara implored. I refused to look up.

‘What kind of person does that?’

‘I’m not the girl you fell in love with. She’s gone. You have to decide if you can still love me. It’s your choice now.’

And then she left.



‘Sara, you should call her, to tell her about the drug dealer. And where Jonathan is too.’

‘You don’t want to call her?’ she asked.

‘I can’t talk to her.’ I left the room, slamming the door behind me.





40


What is Yours


I PULLED AT MY JEANS AS I SAT AT THE TABLE, waiting for him to enter. My heart was beating so fast, my head was spinning.

When the doors opened, the entire room shifted in anticipation. I scanned the faces of men in green jumpsuits. Men who I would never want to be in the same room with alone. When I saw Jonathan’s face I stood, and his eyes lit up when he spotted me.

‘Hi, Jonathan,’ I said awkwardly, not certain what I was supposed to do.

‘I can’t believe you’re really here,’ he said, relief washing over his face. ‘I thought you hated me.’

A quick pang shot through my chest at the choice of his words. ‘No. I think it’s about time we start forgiving.’

The visit with Jonathan had been a relief in some ways, but seeing him in that oppressive prison was still weighing heavily on my mind. My phone beeped, pulling me from my thoughts. I picked it up to find a missed call from Evan. A rush of nervousness ran through me at the sight of his name. I hadn’t heard from him since I’d left Santa Barbara five days ago. Knowing what the call meant, I gripped the steering wheel tighter. He’d made his choice.

I pulled in to the rest stop and parked the rental car. Then I took a deep breath and listened to his message.

‘Hi, Em. Please call me.’ His voice was quiet and sad.