Out of Breath (Breathing, #3)(130)

‘Hey, Emma.’ I turned to find Nate behind me.

‘Nate! What’s going on?’ I greeted with near-?TJ enthusiasm. He looked at me oddly, then noticed as Paul scooted in closer.

Nate’s eyes widened in understanding. ‘I was actually hoping to talk to you,’ he said, fulfilling his rescue role.

‘Sure,’ I responded almost too eagerly. ‘It was nice talking to you.’ I followed Nate without looking back.

‘Thanks,’ I stressed. ‘I’ve been trying to ditch him for a while, but he doesn’t know how to take a hint.’

‘Glad I could help. But I did really want to talk to you.’

‘Um, okay,’ I said, surprised by the request. We ventured away from the crowd and headed further down the beach, my stomach twisted with nerves. He wanted to talk to me about Evan.

‘Ren, have you seen Emma?’ I felt like I’d been asking that question all day.

‘I think I saw her walking down the beach with Nate.’ Ren was lying in the hammock with his arm draped over the side, holding a beer.

‘Nate?’ I asked in confusion. Then it struck me. He was going to say something to her. Emma wasn’t going to handle being questioned by my best friend very well. The past week with her had been amazing. But we weren’t going to be fixed instantly, and I didn’t need Nate forcing her to reveal anything before she was ready. He wasn’t as patient as I was.

‘Where’d they go?’

Ren pointed, and I rushed off in that direction.

I walked beside Nate, anxiously waiting for him to say something. My phone buzzed while we were walking. I pulled it out of my pocket to find a text from Evan: Where are you?

I looked at Nate. ‘Sorry. Evan’s looking for me.’ I texted him back. After I hit Send, I clicked back to my list of messages, and my step faltered when I saw, Emma?

‘Emma, are you okay?’ Nate asked, pulling my attention away before I could open the text.

‘Yeah,’ I whispered, my mouth suddenly dry. ‘What did you need to tell me, Nate?’

‘I shouldn’t say anything, but … but I can’t watch it happen again.’

Nate shifted his gaze above my head, peering up at the darkening sky, calculating his words. I couldn’t calm the pounding in my chest, starting to feel a bit light-headed – I feared my legs might give out.

‘Evan’s a planner. What I mean is, he’s always trying to plan for what’s next, almost like a chess game. Everything he does has a reason behind it. He’s thought it out, sometimes three steps ahead of where it will lead him. Except when it comes to you.’ He paused, glancing at me quickly. I remained still, holding my breath … waiting.

‘You’re like … speed chess. He has no idea what you’re going to do. No matter what he thinks his next move should be, he may have to come up with another one in a hurry. You do the unexpected. You challenge him, and that’s definitely one of the reasons he’s drawn to you.’ Nate took a deep breath, shifting uncomfortably until he finally met my own nervous gaze.

‘He wasn’t good that first year. I’d never seen him like that, and I never want to again. He submitted to being at Yale, and told everyone that he was moving on with his life without you. But when he started the transfer to Stanford, I knew it was because of you. No matter what he tried to convince everyone else, he could never get over you.’

Nate paused in thought before continuing. ‘The reason I’m telling you all of this is because the more time you spend together, the more hopeful he becomes. But, Emma, don’t do this if you aren’t planning to be completely truthful with him. He deserves that much. I don’t know what you haven’t told him yet, but he needs to know. If it’s going to make him never want to see you again, then that’s the risk you have to take. I’m not going to let you gut him like you did two years ago.’

I met Nate’s determined expression and nodded feebly. ‘I will be honest with him. I promise.’ And I knew exactly what that promise meant. My knees weakened.

‘Thank you,’ he said sincerely. ‘Hey, we should start heading back. The fireworks should be starting soon.’

‘I’ll be there in a minute,’ I rasped, knowing that if I moved I’d collapse. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and stared down as Jonathan’s words lit up on my screen. My heart stopped.

‘There you are,’ I declared as soon as I came around the bend. ‘I was …’ Nate quickly passed me without a glance. Behind him, Emma was staring at her phone.

‘Emma?’ She collapsed to her knees. I was too late.





39


No More Secrets


I HELD EMMA’S TREMBLING HAND AS I LED HER back to the house. Nate had picked up his pace, so he was already submerged in the crowd. He knew I was pissed off, but I didn’t want to get into it with him in front of Emma. She was having a hard enough time looking at me.

Her steps faltered as I cut through the crowd and into the house. I shut and locked the bedroom door behind us while Emma continued out to the patio. I found her seated on the end of the teak lounge chair, her gaze fixed on the ground and her arms wrapped around her waist.

‘What did he say to you?’ I asked quietly. ‘Whatever he said –’