Just One Year(59)

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TEAGAN

THREE MONTHS LATER




Though it still felt warm and summery in Boston, the new school year had started, and it was strange not to have my internship at the aquarium anymore. I was currently applying for a new one next semester. I’d heard about an opening with a research project that involved managing a database of environmental data and creating a photo catalog for various types of whales and other marine life—not the most exciting gig, but it would be something to add to my resume.

I was spending a typical afternoon back in my room after class when Kai came to hang out, as she often did when she got home from school.

“Have you heard from Caleb?”

Why does she have to bring him up?

“No.”

“Really?”

“No. We haven’t spoken much.”

My anger flared. Didn’t she realize this was a sensitive topic? Caleb and I weren’t supposed to be in regular touch with each other. That was never the plan. We were just supposed to not lose touch and check in from time to time.

“Don’t you think that’s odd?” she asked.

“Not really. We’re not together,” I said defensively. “We decided it would be best not to suffer through a long-distance relationship. I think if we were talking every day and stuff, that would be odd.”

She didn’t seem to buy that. “So that’s it? He’s just gone from your life?”

I sighed. While I knew things had to be the way they were if Caleb and I were going to move on with our lives, every day that I didn’t hear from him hurt. And I hated that I felt this way. But I understood. I understood why he was giving me space—and why I also had to give him space. Aside from the first couple of weeks after he left Boston, I had only spoken to him a handful of times. He always sounded kind of down when we talked, like it made him sad or something. So I’d stopped trying to initiate it.

“It’s for the best,” I said.

She tilted her head, studying me. “Are you just saying that, or do you mean it?”

“What does it matter? This is the way it has to be. Did his leaving hurt? Yes. But he’s gone. There’s nothing I can do about it. So I have to try to find a way to move on.”

An impish grin spread across her face. “I think I might have just the thing, actually.”

“Uh-oh. What?”

“Luke’s brother is back living at home. He graduated last year and is staying with their parents for a while until he can find his own place. He’s really cute and single.”

Luke was a guy Kai had been dating for a few months. This was the first I’d heard that he had a brother.

“What’s his name?”

“Ethan.”

“Okay. Nice name,” I said, still uninterested.

“Why don’t the four of us go out this weekend?”

I knew that would probably be good for me, but I hesitated. “I’m not sure.”

“What’s the hold up?”

“I’m just not sure I’m ready to start seeing anyone.”

“Okay, but you’re wasting time.”

“I don’t want to rush into anything.”

“You’re only young once. You can’t be hung up on some dude who left for England and is never coming back.”

“I never said I was hung up on Caleb. What makes you think that?”

“It’s your eyes. You don’t see it, but whenever I mention him, they change. I can’t explain it, except to say I can see your sadness.”

Blowing out a long breath, I realized I might have been more transparent than I thought. Caleb’s name felt like a knife to my heart, a reminder that he was out there somewhere, no longer part of my life, and I might never see him again. After he left, I’d realized even more how much I cared about him.

She hopped up from her seat. “I have to run. Late for work. But think about this weekend, okay? I’ll send you a link to Ethan’s profile so you can look through his photos and tell me what you think.”

No way.

I rolled my eyes and pretended to play along. “Okay.”

***

I don’t know what made me check Archie’s Instagram that night. Caleb’s friend was also back living in England now. My understanding was that nothing ever became of his relationship with Angela from Boston. They’d just cut ties, apparently.

Okay, I know why I checked Archie’s Instagram.

Kai’s bringing Caleb up earlier had opened up some kind of emotional wound. I’d spent the rest of the day thinking about him—more than usual. I knew Caleb never posted much on his own accounts, aside from stupid memes. I’d be more likely to see something about Caleb through Archie’s page. I’d checked there before, and most of the time, there were just shots of Archie out and about on the town or various meals he’d enjoyed. But when I checked tonight, I hit the motherlode.

I started shaking as I looked at the most recent photo he’d posted. My heart. God, my heart. It felt like it might burst out of my chest. Or maybe it was breaking. My eyes stung with tears. I wiped them away so I could examine the photo. Next to my Caleb was a gorgeous brunette with her arm around him. She kissed his cheek as he flashed a sly grin. There was nothing hesitant or regretful about his expression. He didn’t look like he had a care in the world. Archie had captioned it: At least someone is getting some tonight.