How to Be a Bawse: A Guide to Conquering Life(18)

Why have people hurt me? Why do people lie? Am I so worthless that people feel they can easily dismiss me? Am I that insignificant a human being? I don’t get it. I have been through so many heartaches in life and I’ve always persevered. But this time is different. After years of standing tall in my corner, life has landed the final punch to my chest and I’ve gone tumbling down. I don’t know how to get back up. And, truthfully, I don’t know if my life is worth getting back up for. How did I get here? Growing up, I had high hopes for myself. I was an imaginative kid who had crazy dreams of becoming a rapper, hanging out with The Rock, and traveling the world. But today I have none of that. I’ve been robbed of my confidence, strength, and imagination.

I take a huge gulp of whiskey that is now seasoned with my pathetic tears. It burns my throat and I practically gag from the horrible, unfamiliar taste. I don’t drink. I’ve never had a desire to drink alcohol. Yet here I am, drinking alone, just hoping that I’ll be able to fall asleep soon. I am so disgusted with my situation that I start insulting myself out loud. I raise my glass. “Cheers to you, Lilly. Cheers for being the most pathetic person you know. Cheers to being that idiot everyone lies to. A big cheers for ever thinking you were someone special. I hope you know better than that now. And finally, cheers to another horrible night.” I’ve hit rock bottom.

2015 My hand is shaking as I hold my glass up. I’m in my hotel room with my team. I cannot stop the whirlwind of exhilarating thoughts. We clink glasses. “Cheers! We’re going to the MTV Movie Awards!”

Last night I mustered up all my courage and messaged my childhood hero, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, because I knew he’d be attending the event. We’ve recently become text friends, but I haven’t yet met him. I’m so nervous I couldn’t sleep at all last night. Fast-forward to today. I’m FREAKING OUT.

I look in the mirror. I smile as I look into my own eyes. How is this my life? How did I manage to pick myself up from the darkest time in my life? I’m so proud of myself.

I’m in my seat sipping champagne as I try to take it all in. The room is full of celebrities I admire, magnificent set pieces, and glamorous outfits. Oh, and hey, that’s Zac Efron. God, he’s hot. ping Wait, did he just say “ping”?! No. Wait. That was my phone. I just received a text: Lilly, come to the greenroom. He’s here.

I AM NOT OKAY. I enter the greenroom and see Dwayne from across the room. My knees begin to shake. Maybe this is a joke?! But then … Dwayne turns and notices me. He interrupts the man he’s speaking to and says, “Hey, sorry, give me a second. I’ve got to meet someone really important.”

Dwayne gives me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. He knows my name. He knows about my tour. He knows my catchphrases. He says he’s my fan.

I get back to my hotel room and sit on my bed. I’m so overwhelmed that I start talking to myself out loud: “You deserve this, Lilly. Keep going and don’t you dare stop now.” Suddenly tears are streaming down my face. I can’t stop crying. But now they are tears of happiness. I can’t believe I get to meet the man who delivers “The Rock Bottom.”





PART 2


HUSTLE HARDER


Now that you and your mind are BFFs, you can work together to focus on your goals. In this section you will learn best practices for getting work done, getting rid of distractions, staying organized, and creating meaningful success. Be forewarned that success isn’t easily obtained. If you want to be a Bawse, you’ll need to hustle. And then hustle harder.





GOOD COMMITMENTS are like endangered animals—there are many threats to their existence. You make a New Year’s resolution to work out every day and promise yourself it’ll happen. The next day you wake up bright and early, go to the gym, and feel great about your new responsible lifestyle. Look at you—you’re basically a fitness guru and will likely only eat kale from this point on. The next day you wake up early again and go to the gym, thus solidifying your future spot in the Olympics. The next day, however, you can’t seem to stop hitting the snooze button and sleep in, missing your only gym opportunity for the day. The morning after that, you wake up with a sore throat and stay in bed. Your commitment is on a battlefield, and sleep and sickness are charging toward it holding spears. Not far behind those threats are parties, laziness, Instagram, and Netflix. Your favorite TV show ending on a cliffhanger is added ammunition. What am I getting at? Committing to your decisions is extremely difficult work. And also, stop trying to make kale a thing!

Being a Bawse requires you not only to make great decisions that will help you achieve your goals but also to commit to those decisions regardless of the obstacles you will face. The two most common obstacles are usually fear and distraction. Let’s say you decide to start a daily blog. Fear will convince you that your writing isn’t good enough and, as a result, people will judge you harshly. Do you really want to fail and be made fun of? Distractions, such as parties, will convince you that your time would be better spent doing something other than working on your blog. After all, it’s an open bar and you’re cheap! What you need to remember is that when you make a commitment, there is no asterisk at the bottom stating that the decision is valid until obstacles are present. Your commitment isn’t a coupon with fine print.

A couple of years ago I had the opportunity to shoot a collaboration video with Seth Rogen and James Franco as a promotion for their upcoming movie, The Interview. I was thrilled about the opportunity and flew to L.A. to make it happen, as I was living in Toronto at the time. I was determined to ace this collab, so I even flew out my videographer, Rick, just to ensure that everything went smoothly. We built an entire set, memorized our creative shot by shot, and rehearsed the workflow over and over again. This was because—plot twist—we had only forty-five minutes to shoot with the boys. The forty-five minutes included the time it would take them to walk into the building, meet us, and listen to our creative. Forty-five minutes to shoot a nine-minute skit is NOT a lot of time, especially when I need to play three different characters. Despite the enormousness of the task ahead of us, Rick and I committed to shooting the video in the allotted time and promised ourselves that nothing would get in the way of that. We were like your iPhone in the morning: charged up.