How to Be a Bawse: A Guide to Conquering Life(13)

Setting goals requires you to work efficiently. Telling yourself that you have to finish something by a certain time or after a certain number of tasks lights a fire under your hustle.





REWARD YOURSELF


Once you set a goal, it’s important to reward yourself when you hit it. A reward can be a break in between tasks (like eating a yummy snack or watching a funny iiSuperwomanii video … heyyy), or you can give yourself a bigger reward for completing all your work at the end of the day. Make sure your rewards are well-earned and reasonable. You don’t want to finish two emails and then allow yourself to take a four-hour nap. That doesn’t make any sense. For example, after writing three chapters today, I’m allowed to watch an hour of Netflix, and therefore I shall type at the speed of light.

The reward system will work as motivation only as long as you don’t cheat. If I write only two chapters today, I can’t allow myself to watch an hour of Netflix. I guess it takes some self-control to implement self-control. One way of getting around this issue is by putting your reward in the hands of someone else. For example, I could tell my friend to change my Netflix password and only give it to me when I present them with three chapters. This might result in a heated argument when I’m sleepy after finishing two chapters, but it keeps me honest!

Other ideas include:



??Getting your friend to change your social media passwords until you’re done studying

??Letting a friend confiscate your phone until you’re done working

??Getting someone to change your Wi-Fi password until you’re done working out (THE HORROR!)





CHALLENGE YOURSELF


When you want to strengthen a muscle, you gradually increase your reps or the weight of the dumbbell. You can apply the same principle when exercising self-control. For example, I don’t swear. I don’t think anything is wrong with swearing—in fact, I thoroughly enjoy it when other people do it—but I just prefer not to. Of course I have the temptation to swear; I mean, I watch Game of Thrones. Red wedding, hello! I wanted to swear for sixty minutes straight after that. But not swearing is something I choose to control, and to be honest, making that choice has helped me exercise self-control in other areas of my life. Not swearing has made me better at not gossiping, not spilling secrets, and not saying something impulsively during an interview.

You don’t have to suddenly decide to change something in your life to exercise self-control, but you can set challenges for yourself. Think of a habit you’d like to break and give yourself mini training sessions.

Here are some ideas:



??If you’re potty-mouthed, don’t swear for twenty-four hours. If you fail, reset your time.

??If you are a major carnivore, become a vegetarian for two days. If you fail, reset your time.

??If you nibble on your fingers, don’t bite your nails for a day. If you fail, reset your time.



I’m not trying to imply that swearing is wrong and people who eat meat are bad. That’s not what this is about. This is about challenging yourself to control something that has become a habit. The more you do this, the better you’ll be at exhibiting self-control in other areas of your life, like procrastinating and getting lost on BuzzFeed. I promise you, number four isn’t ever that exciting!

When you find ways to work your self-control muscle, you’ll develop stamina. When I moved to L.A., there was a period of two months when I didn’t have an assistant. As a result, my workload doubled and I had to work twice as hard to keep my business from falling apart. One of the most difficult tasks was editing my daily vlogs, something my assistant would usually do. After I’d been working for hours on a scripted video, the idea of spending twenty minutes to edit a vlog seemed torturous. But every night I would crawl into bed, open my laptop, and edit the vlog. Tears of exhaustion would stream down my cheeks. But pushing myself for those last twenty minutes not only made the reward of sleep so incredibly sweet but also helped me hustle that much harder throughout the day. Suddenly I could write a script for twenty more minutes before calling it quits. I could write ten more emails than usual before turning off my computer. Whereas before I would ignore the sink full of dishes before going to sleep, now I was suddenly rolling up my sleeves and getting the job done. I was flexing my self-control muscle like THE BEACH IS THAT WAY!

Here’s a little food for thought: If you’re constantly struggling to exercise self-control when it comes to finishing your work, maybe it’s time to question your work. A lot of people ask me how I’m able to work twelve hours straight on a task, and this question always confuses me. I don’t feel like I’m always pushing myself, and that’s because I enjoy what I do. When you like what you do, you’re motivated to keep doing it. In other words, a very basic way of having self-control is to do something you like.

Behind every successful person is a relentless work ethic, the ability to block out distractions, and a well-defined six-pack of self-control. Find creative ways to work your self-control and keep making it stronger. Unlike your abs, this muscle needs to be fit even during the winter, so get to work.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some sweet, sweet Netflix to watch.




Let’s Work

Make a list of self-control challenges that work for you. Start with a twenty-four-hour challenge and work your way up from there.