Effortless (Thoughtless, #2)(46)

They, of course, ate it up. Kellan smiled as he flicked his eyes over the group. He kept looking at one in the back and I curiously started examining her too. She was biting her lip and eyeing him in an intimate way, a way that clearly said she was a step above the other fawning fans around. It was a look I’d seen before on women who’d approached him, or sometimes even shown up at his place. It was the look of a woman who’d shared a bed with him before, and probably wouldn’t mind sharing a bed with him again.

As his eyes kept flashing over hers, I finally registered the look I was seeing on his face. It was an expression of, I know you…how do I know you?

Irritated by the whole situation, I started to subtly pull away from him.

Maybe taking the hint, he excused himself from the gawkers. “It was nice to meet you all…I’ll see you at the show.” I groaned a little that he’d tossed that in at the end. Now they all probably assumed that he literally meant he’d spend some time with them at the performance tonight. And 128



I’ve-slept-with-you girl was probably expecting a great amount of personal attention.

I was scowling by the time we were outside. He noticed. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Glaring over at him, I rolled my eyes. “I hope you all can make it. See you there, ladies,” I mocked, not really meaning to.

He stopped and stared at me. “I was just being friendly with some fans, Kiera. It doesn’t mean what you think it means.” I stopped, setting my hands on my hips. I was fine with the fans, truly, I was, but that girl in the back had gotten under my skin. It was so weird to have so many people know what being with him was like…in that way. And they kept popping up everywhere. This girl, Candy, Rita, and I was pretty sure about that mechanic chick too…and that was just in the small circle that I saw often. I knew the list was much, much longer than that.

Pointing back to the building, I snapped out, “You’ve had sex with that girl!”

He blinked at my tone and my words, then his face heated. “And?” I blinked that he didn’t even try and deny it. “And…and…” Not having a real argument, I sighed and hung my head. “And I’m tired of running into girls who know what making love to you feels like. “ He sighed and stepped into me, cupping my face. His voice and face softer, he shook his head. “No one but you knows what making love to me feels like.” Raising his eyebrows, he rested his head against mine. “I didn’t even know what making love was like until you.” Pulling back, he tilted his head at the building. “What happened with that girl…was just sex. A mindless, physical act that had no meaning or feeling behind it. It was just pleasure…and I don’t even really remember it.”





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Squatting down, he met my eye. “I remember every single time with you. Even before we were together, being with you haunted my dreams.

I couldn’t forget, even when I wanted to…” His thumbs brushed over my cheeks as I felt tears falling down them. “You…seared me. That’s making love. That is something that none of them have over you. You are…unforgettable…and I love you.”

Sniffling, I swallowed a couple times before I could finally say, “I love you, too.”

He kissed me then, and I felt the passion and the truth in his words.

They’d had him, but not like I’d had him. For some reason, I was different to him, and I was eternally grateful for that. I was still thinking about all of his conquests on the drive to his place, though. Feeling a little melancholy, I sat on his couch after we walked in his door. He sat beside me, a little cautiously.

“Kiera? You’re not still mad, are you?”

I shook my head as I looked over at him. “No, I’m not mad, I’m just…” Sighing, I bit my lip. Looking nervous, he shrugged. “You’re what?” Knowing we had to have this conversation sooner or later, I gritted my teeth and inhaled. On the exhale, I calmly said, “I’m curious…about the women.”

Looking away, Kellan sighed, like he’d known this was coming.

“Kiera…you know why I use to…”

He trailed off, staring at the floor. Grabbing his cheek, I made him look back at me. “I know, Kellan. I know why, I just don’t know…how many.”





He pulled back from my fingertips, his brows pulling together. “How many? Why do you…? Why does that…?” Shaking his head, he shrugged again. “What difference does that make, Kiera?” Sighing as I stared at the floor now, I shrugged. “I don’t know why, Kellan. I guess I just want to know how many….others…I could 130



potentially run into.” I peeked back up to look at him; his brow was still furrowed. “Do you know how many there has been?” He swallowed, his eyes avoiding looking at me. “Kiera, I’m not really comfortable with…” He sighed and finally looked at me. “Can we not do this, please? Not today, not when I’m leaving tomorrow.” I sighed again, wishing I could just let it go again. But I’d let it go too many times already, and really, this was the perfect time to talk about it.

“We should have this conversation, Kellan. We should have already had it, but you and I had…different problems getting together, so this just kept getting put on the back burner. But it’s important…we need to talk about it.”