Effortless (Thoughtless, #2)(127)

Biting my lip, I sighed and reluctantly shook my head. Kellan smiled, his hand coming back up to brush my face. “Another time then?” I nodded and pulled his head down to me, so we could at least kiss a little bit.

I couldn’t remember where I was when I woke up. I wasn’t even really sure if I was awake at all. As Kellan’s arms were wrapped around me, 355



my head resting on his chest, I felt like I was still dreaming. It wasn’t an absurd thought—I often dreamt of Kellan. Running my hand over his pecs, I wondered when I’d wake up. Probably when I got to the good part, that’s when it always happened.

Sighing, I kissed his chest, wishing that, for once, this dream would let us finish. Exhaling contently, his arms squeezed me tighter. “Mornin’,” he breathed into my hair.

It sent a shiver down my back and I smiled. Peeking up at him, I whispered, “Am I dreaming, or am I really waking up with you?” He smiled down on me, adjusting himself so he could see me better.

“You dream about waking up with me?”

I nodded, propping myself up to look over his body under the thin blanket. I frowned slightly. “You’re usually naked in my dreams, though, so I must be awake.”

Quietly laughing, he pulled me back to his chest. “You’re usually naked in my dreams, too,” he murmured, kissing my neck.

A thrill went through me, but it was halted by the snoring, coughing, and the occasional…unseemly noises going on around us. Kellan frowned. “Sorry, smelly bus of boys…not exactly romantic.” I sighed and stroked his face. “It’s better than nothing.” His hand clenched over mine as we settled onto his pillows, facing each other. Remembering the many ups and downs yesterday, I rubbed my thumb over his. “Hey, you mentioned that you wanted to tell me something last night…what was it?” I whispered, not sure if I was ready to hear it.

Kellan looked down, then back up. “I…” He looked past me, at where his phone was tucked in his cubby. “I…” Frowning slightly, he searched my face for a moment, then smiling, he shrugged. “I didn’t tell you the bad part about getting signed.”

I blinked, not expecting the conversation to go that way, and also having a horrid feeling that he’d just smoothly changed the subject. “What?” I whispered, lead forming in my stomach.

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Looking down, he shook his head. “As soon as the tour ends in May, they want us in L.A., to record the album.” He looked back up at me, his face apologetic. “In the meantime, the guys and I will be spending every free moment we have going through our songs, picking out the best ones…perfecting them.” He shrugged. “We have to be ready when we get there…”

I sighed, my heart cracking a little. “You’re basically telling me that you won’t have any time to spend with me…for a while…aren’t you?” He swallowed, shaking his head. “I’m sorry…we need to do this, so I won’t be able to visit, like I’d hoped. I’m sorry.” Now I swallowed. “It’s okay…I understand.” I looked down as I considered all of the moments together that we’d already missed, that we were going to miss…our first Valentine’s Day as a couple had already gone by, the flowers he’d sent me long wilted. Our anniversary was fast approaching, in a couple of weeks, mid-March. Kellan’s birthday was in April, mine was in May. My graduation…

My eyes snapped up to his, watery. “Could you make it back in June?” He nodded, cupping my cheek. “I’m not missing your graduation…no matter what. I don’t care if I have to walk out on a recording session…I’m not missing it, Kiera.”

I smiled and sighed, knowing that I’d at least get to see him then…three months from now. And after that…I supposed they’d be touring again, to promote the album. As a little bit of sadness washed over me, he held me close and rubbed my back. So quietly that I almost didn’t hear him, he whispered, “And there was something you wanted to tell me?”

I stiffened, not wanting to say it. He’d never go to L.A. if he knew that Denny was back in my life. He’d flip out if he realized that Denny was the friend that I was having lunch with, quite frequently. But really, I didn’t want to tell Kellan about it…because I knew, with everything in me, that he’d lied about what he’d wanted to tell me. I was sure that the bit about not coming home was true, and it probably was something that 357



he’d wanted to mention, but I was also sure that it hadn’t been on his mind last night. I was sure it had nothing to do with whoever was calling him.

I bit my lip, not sure what to tell him. Propping myself up to look at him, I shook my head. “I love you, Kellan, and you’ve got nothing to worry about when it comes to me, but I don’t think I can tell you just yet.”

Frowning, he sat up on his elbows. “What? Why not?” Guilt sweeping over me, I shook my head. “You’re just going to have to believe in me.”

His mouth dropped open a little and he glanced at his phone really quick. His mouth closed and I knew that he understood. He knew that I was aware that he hadn’t really told me anything. That what he’d briefly wanted to tell me last night, and what he’d ended up telling me this morning, were two entirely different things. My eyes watered as I waited for him to open up, to tell me the truth. His eyes glossier, he only stared at me.