Effortless (Thoughtless, #2)(132)
Flaming hot to the touch in my embarrassment, I squeaked out, “I want to… Will you…?”
As my throat dried up and speech became impossible, Kellan quietly asked, “What, Kiera?”
Keeping my eyes tightly closed, I shifted onto my back and pretended that I was Anna. She’d have no problems asking Griffin to have sex over the phone. Oh, God, I really wished I hadn’t just had that thought. Sighing at myself, I forced the words to come out. “I feel like we’re drifting, Kellan, and I just want to feel closer to you. I—” Kellan cut me off. “I’m sorry, Kiera. I feel like that’s my fault. I just…I…I should… We should talk about… God, this is hard…” My eyes watering, I shook my head. No, I didn’t want him to break my heart right now. I wanted him to make me feel better. I wanted him to make me feel like we were completely in sync, completely in love, and completely devoted to each other. I wanted to feel worshipped again, even if it was just for this one moment.
“No, don’t, Kellan. I don’t want to talk right now. I just want you to make me feel good…”
His end went silent, then, “Kiera, are you asking me to… do you want me to make love to you?”
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I groaned a little as his words went straight through my body. I knew that I was using sex as a diversion, like he sometimes did. I knew that I was sidestepping our issues, and I also knew if I pushed right now, really pushed, I could probably get him to be honest with me. But…I wasn’t ready to hear his sins. And it had been so long and I missed him…so much. If we could just pretend…
“Yes,” I whispered, my voice husky. “Make me feel it, Kellan…make me feel like your wife…”
“Oh, God, Kiera…I want you so much…”
I ran my hand over my body, over the places he liked to touch. My breath quicker, I whispered, “I don’t know what to do, Kellan.” He groaned in my ear, the sound sending a jolting ache right through me. Keeping my eyes tightly closed, I found that I could easily imagine that my hand was his. Especially with his voice in my ear, guiding me.
“Take your shirt off, baby. I need to run my tongue over those beautiful breasts…”
It was a half an hour later before he finally let me have the explosion my body had been craving. He’d kept me on the edge, tantalizing me by telling me exactly where to go, what to touch. And he always said he was doing it, so I didn’t feel stupid or self conscious. Although, I stopped caring about that about five minutes into it. Really, I stopped caring about that when he started touching himself. And his voice when he came… God, it was still ringing in my ears.
Panting into the phone, it took me a minute to register that he was talking to me. “Hey, you still there?”
He chuckled a little bit and I felt that embarrassment start to slide back in. I pushed it away though. “Yeah, sorry.” I laughed a little too. “I got a little distracted there.”
He purred in my ear—a delicious sound. “Yes, I know. God that was incredible, Kiera…you were incredible.”
371
Not feeling like I’d really done anything special, I murmured, “Are you sure that was okay? That was definitely a first for me…” He sighed and laughed. “Uh, considering I haven’t come that hard on my own in a long time…yeah, that was perfect. And…a first for me, too.”
That startled me so much, I sat up in bed. “You’ve never had phone sex before?”
I flushed at asking him that so bluntly, but he only chuckled at my response. “No…why do you sound so surprised?” I sucked on my lip, remembering the heated words he’d used to stoke my body, remembering him urging me to do whatever felt good. At the time, it had all seemed so natural coming out of his mouth that I’d have believed he got paid professionally to do it. He probably could. I guess being an overly sexual person did have its bright spots.
“Because you were amazing…”
“Amazing, reall—?” He cut off what he’d been about to say and instead swore.
I bunched my brows. “Kellan? Everything alright?” Sounding like he was moving in a hurry, he murmured, “Yeah, it’s just…the guys came back. I have to go…clean up. Sorry.” A flood of heat rushed to my cheeks, picturing what he probably looked like right now. I wrapped the blankets around my bare body, feeling embarrassed at just the thought of being walked in on in that position. “Oh, okay, I love you.”
Chuckling, he told me he loved me too, then hung up the phone. I set it down on my nightstand and stretched out under my covers, remembering him moaning my name. For the time being, I felt completely content and relaxed, and I hoped that it would last.
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It surprisingly lasted for a while. I felt on cloud nine as I floated throughout my days. Cheyenne noticed it, asking me if it had anything to do with the rose that I was twirling in my fingers during poetry class.
I smiled and nodded at the perky woman. I had no idea how Kellan had managed to pull it off, but every day since our heated moment on the phone, I’d been approached by complete strangers and handed a single red rose. Sometimes it happened here at school, sometimes at work.
Once at Starbucks. It was almost like Kellan wanted to make sure that he didn’t miss me again.