Dear Heart, You Screwed Me(83)

“Fuck you,” I screamed at him, slapping his cheek hard. His head cocked to the side, his large hand rubbing his skin. His tongue darted out, resting at the corner of his top lip before his blazing eyes found mine. His eyes hooded, looking down at me. The spark that coursed through me from his intense stare made my steps falter as I slipped back. I ignored the swirling heat that stirred in my stomach, the ache between my legs growing. I was angry with him. Super pissed off.

He stepped towards me. I stilled, holding my hands up and hitting them against his chest repeatedly. Turning quickly, I rushed away from him, but I could hear him behind me. Picking up the pace I tried to lose him, but with his long legs and his big strides which equated to two of mine, it was useless.

I spun round, pointing my finger at him.

“Don’t you dare,” I warned, my hand shaking through anger and nerves. My voice was hoarse as I tried to keep the burning lump at bay as my tears stung my eyes, but I wouldn’t let them fall. I was sick of crying. I was sick of being angry. I was sick of feeling like this.

“Reese…”

“Just leave me alone. Leave us alone,” my hand automatically moving to my belly. My head dropped, my eyes landing to where my hand was resting.

“We don’t need you. You didn’t want me anymore, so now you lose the both of us.” And with that, I turned and walked away from him. Not once looking back.

I couldn’t do this.

I needed to put the distance between us and now was the perfect time.





CHAPTER 36





I locked my door behind me, then slipped the safety chain across. I didn’t think he would turn up, but I could never be sure with him. He was unpredictable. The fact he had a spare key for my apartment meant he could let himself in at any time. Weirdo.

My skin swarmed in heat, I felt clammy and sticky. Unwrapping my scarf, I pulled it from my neck and threw it on my sofa, next I shrugged my coat off and threw it in the same place as my scarf. Why was it so hot in here? Pushing my fingers through my long blonde hair, I wrapped it round into a high bun and pulled a toggle over it. I needed air, yes. Air. Opening the window to my apartment, I leaned my top half out and inhaled. The ice-cold air hurt my lungs, making them burn but it felt good in some weird, kind of way. The air was far from clean in New York City, but it felt good having the fresh air circulating inside of me.

I must have been hanging out the window for a while, my mind wandering too earlier today. I went to find out when would be good to be inseminated, and I came out already pregnant.

With Killian’s child.

That he wants nothing to do with.

But why does that matter? I was going to do this myself all along. I didn’t need him or anyone for that matter.

Goosebumps smothered my skin, the chill spreading across me now. Slamming the window down quickly, I walked into the bedroom and tugged my jeans off. I felt constricted, I needed something loose around my non-existent bump.

Grabbing some oversized tracksuit bottoms, I rolled them over a couple of times then reached into my drawers for my grey Nirvana tee.

That felt better. I smiled in the mirror, turning to the side and placing my hands over my lower belly.

It still didn’t feel real, it still hadn’t sunk in that I was growing a baby.

I was going to be a mum in a little under seven months.

Now it really was time to get my act together.

I sat on my large, black sofa. My eyes just danced round the room. I had a small television in the corner of the squared, open planned lounge. I wanted some plants scattered around, but I only went for pretend ones. I could never for the life of me keep plants alive. A familiar fear pricked at my skin, the sweat beading on my brow.

I couldn’t even look after a plant… how the hell was I going to look after a baby.

Edging forward on the sofa, my fingers tapped against the china of my mug. I wanted to nibble my skin on my nails but tapping my fingers would help contain the anxiety that was ripping through me.

I’m going to need a bigger apartment, my head spun as I looked behind me and looked round my spacious one-bedroom home. I loved it here.

I didn’t have to panic, we had time.

Turning my head quickly I spun to look at the photos on the wall, Elijah’s eyes finding mine.

“I’m so scared,” I whispered.

My eyes fell to my half full cup of tea, swirling it round gently. I jumped when I heard a knock on the door.

“Bitch tits, you in?” I heard Connie’s voice. I let out the small breath that I had been holding. I could really do without this, but on the other hand I needed my friend more than ever. I just couldn’t tell her yet.

Rushing for the door, I slid the safety chain across and let her in.

“Hey,” I smiled at her, she had wine in her hand and Chinese. She was an angel.

“Hey, you,” she smiled back.

I stood aside and let her in, she smiled as she rushed past me and placed the cartons of food on the work top and set to quick work to get the cork out of the wine. Reaching up for two glasses and pouring a glass. My eyes widened as it sunk in. Moving quick, I covered the top of my glass and shook my head side to side.

“Not for me,” I tried say it in a joking manner, but I was worried she would see through my shit.

“Why?” her eyebrow lifted.

“I’m not feeling very well, I have had a terrible migraine…” I laughed, even I wasn’t convinced.