Dear Heart, You Screwed Me(78)

“Toad in the hole?” he repeats, a little confused.

“Mmhmm, it’s basically sausage in batter… not quite sure where it comes from… well I could google it but yano…” I shrugged, picking up my knife and fork.

“I was going to get changed but decided against it. I can’t wait to taste this sausage in the hole.”

I rolled my eyes. “Toad in the hole,” I giggled.

“Oh, shit yeah, toad.” He laughed with me as he picked his knife and fork up.

“Do you not want gravy?” I asked, my hands hovering over my full plate.

“Do I want gravy…?” he asked me.

I nodded, “You can’t have toad in the hole without gravy…”

“Okay, yes please, may I have some gravy, wife.” My smile fell for a moment as I reached for the jug before I plastered it back on and covered his food. As much as we were an accident, a mistake, I couldn’t deny the pain that crushed through me, the wave of emotion that crashed over me at the thought of us not being together anymore.

Even if it was just pretend.

“There you go, husband. Bon appetite.”





CHAPTER 33





REESE





Closing my eyes, I inhaled deeply and tried to calm my erratic heart. After a moment, I opened my eyes and pulled the door of the courthouse open. Killian had already left this morning by the time I had woken up, so we never got a chance to speak after last night. I tried my hardest to keep away, but after a couple of glasses of wine we both were like moths to the flame. Unable to stay away from each other. It was because we knew we couldn’t be with each other that we craved it more. You always want what you can’t have. We both agreed it was the perfect way to say goodbye. We made love until the early hours of the morning before I slipped out and slept in my own bed.

I also needed to look at moving out, I couldn’t stay living with Killian much longer. I had to get on with my own life, I had my own plans to keep and my own dreams to follow and I couldn’t allow Killian to put them on hold any longer.

My legs felt heavy as I walked down the aisle towards the judge. I looked to the left to see Killian’s lawyer, but no Killian.

I had prayed and begged silently last night that Killian would want me, would want what I did, and we could stay married and live happily ever after. But he made it clear he didn’t want that, Connie was his priority, which was right. One hundred percent. But a small, teenie weenie part of me hoped he wanted me as a priority too.

But he didn’t.

He wanted the annulment, and he wasn’t here.

I nodded curtly to his lawyer who gave me a grave smile before turning to face the judge.

“Morning,” the judge said to both of us, “we are here today for the annulment of a Ms Reese Hernández and a Mr Killian Hayes, is that correct?”

“Yes, your honour,” me and his lawyer said in unison.

“Let’s get started.” She smiled, turning to face the lawyer.

“Your honour, before we get started, I need to let you know that my client, Killian Hayes will not be present today, but he does have the documentation signed by himself and Ms Hernández.”

“And why couldn’t Mr Hayes be here today?” her brow raised as she leant forward.

“Personal issues,” his lawyer’s voice was tight, “but I have full control over Mr Hayes’ personal affairs as well as his finances. I am fully aware of everything that needs to happen today.”

He wasn’t here.

He couldn’t even have the decency to turn up to our annulment.

He didn’t want to be here.

He didn’t want me.

The harsh reality seared through my heart like a samurai sword, destroying all of the patches he had covered. But that’s just it. They were patches. Small repairs to try and fix my obliterated heart. He never saw a future with me. He never wanted it to be any more than what it was. A booty call.

A forbidden love affair.

The tears stung behind my eyes, my throat constricted and tight as the burning lump lodged itself in my windpipe.

My breath ripped from my lungs.

He wasn’t coming.

“Ms Hernandez?” The judge said a little louder now.

“Sorry, yes your honour.”

“Welcome back,” a small smile crept across her lips. “I will repeat my question, are you happy for Mr Hayes’ lawyer, Colin, to act on Mr Hayes’ behalf and represent him for your annulment.”

The breath caught at the back of my throat, rendering me speechless, a lone tear escaped as it rolled down my cheek. Swiping it away quickly, I nodded.

“Let’s proceed.”



The overall process was short and sweet, a bit like mine and Killian’s drunken marriage. He had taken care of everything. His statement advised it was a drunken mistake, no consummation of marriage was ever had and the reason it took us a few months to get our annulment was because our clash in work schedules. I was also given my old apartment back as part of the arrangement, even though I didn’t want it.

It was official.

We were over, he didn’t want me living with him anymore.

I was angry, I was upset and most of all, I was disappointed. I thought I meant more to him than that, I thought we were friends.