Dear Heart, You Screwed Me(81)

A baby.

I didn’t need a man. I was an independent woman.

I had savings, I had a job… okay so it wasn’t permanent, but it was a job. And Killian wouldn’t kick me out.

Well, he did basically kick you out of his apartment-my subconscious so kindly reminded me.

Rolling my eyes, I closed the calendar and turned my attention to my ever-growing inbox.



Grabbing my coat, I pulled it on and wrapped my scarf around my neck. I was excited but nervous. I just prayed that after today, things were going to start looking up for me. I rushed out the office before I was stopped by an office junior asking me questions that I didn’t need to answer. Pushing through the door, I inhaled the cold air, filling my lungs. Damn, it felt good. Holding my hand up, I stopped the first taxi I saw and climbed into the back.

“1016 5th avenue please,” I asked nicely as I shut the door.

The driver grunted, turning his light off and pulling into the busy road. My heart was racing but in the best way, my whole body tingled with anticipation.

This is what I needed.

What I had been waiting for.

Throwing the taxi driver some notes after the short taxi ride, I hopped out and practically skipped up the steps of the doctors.

The heat blasted me as soon as I was in the office, taking in the light and airy reception area. These were a lot posher than our doctors back at home.

“Afternoon, welcome to Doctor Kyra’s office, do you have an appointment?”

I smiled at the friendly lady sitting behind the desk, her bobbed brown hair was styled to perfection. Her cheeks had a rosy glow, but I wasn’t sure if it was her make-up or whether it was from the belting heating that was on all day.

“Yes, yes…” a nervous laugh bubbled out of me, “I do have an appointment. My name is Reese Hernández, I have an appointment at two.” I said quietly, unsure why.

“Lovely,” she smiled as she tapped the keyboard, “take a seat Ms Hernández, Doctor Kyra will be out in a moment.”

My smile was still sitting on my lips as I stepped back and sat down in the pristine and modern waiting room. I looked at the magazines on the coffee table in front of me.

Baby, baby, baby.

My heart warmed, fuzziness spreading through me. I wanted this so bad. I felt desperate. It was so close, my grasp millimetres away from grabbing it and holding onto my dream for dear life.

“Ms Hernández?” a young blonde woman said as she stood in light pink scrubs and a long, white doctor’s jacket. The waiting room was quiet, a few couples sitting and here I was sitting alone.

Again.

I stood up, grabbing my bag and following her into her office.

“Please, take a seat,” she said as she sat behind her desk, her hand opening and gesturing for me to sit down opposite her.

She was British, I felt a little more at home suddenly.

“Okay, so I have your file here. Everything looks great.” Her eyes were cast down as she looked at the paperwork tucked in a light brown folder. “You’re healthy, you’re young…” her eyes found mine as she smiled. “You’re sure you want to go ahead with this?” she sat back, her fingers pressing into her chin.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” A bubble of a laugh left me.

“Because you are young, there is still time for you to settle down with someone…”

I shook my head from side to side fast, “no, no,” I continued. “I don’t want to wait for someone, I had someone… he died. I can’t go through that again. I know this is what I want… I can do this… don’t take this away from me.” My voice was more of a beg now.

“Reese, I’m not going to take anything away from you. I just wanted to check; I have to ask…” she smiled softly as she closed my file. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

I nodded solemnly at her acknowledgment.

“Okay,” I whispered, “I’m sorry, I just…”

“I know.” She nodded gently, pushing back away from her desk, “let’s do an ultrasound, see how things are looking, then we can go from there,” she said as she sat at the ultrasound desk, slipping on some gloves and holding the probe in her hand.

I walked over cautiously, the nerves suddenly putting out the excitement that I once felt. Did I want this? Did I want to do this alone?

“Lay on the bed and lift your top for me please.”

I did as she said, my heart was thumping in my chest.

“How long have you been here in the city for?” she asked as she applied a cool gel, making me jump a little. “Sorry, it can be a little cold.”

“Erm, a few months.”

“Enjoying it?” she asked as she pressed the ultrasound probe into my lower stomach. I should have peed before I had this done.

“I am, I came here for work. It’s been a little hectic and things haven’t gone quite to plan but I am hoping that after today things will be back on track.” I smiled, turning my head to look at her but my words fell on deaf ears. Her eyes were fixed to the screen as she studied whatever was on there.

“When was your last period?” she asked as she pressed some buttons on her keyboard while pushing the probe harder onto my stomach.

Her question threw me.

I couldn’t think, I had complete mind fog.