Come Back for Me (Arrowood Brothers #1)(47)

“Just a lot on my mind.”

Mostly him but a lot about Kevin also. I got the court date today, and I’ve been struggling with it. I’m not ready to talk about what happened again. I feel like I finally got to the point where I’m not living it each day, so dragging up all those emotions in front of the court is daunting. Not because I don’t want to see Kevin go to jail for what he did but because I don’t want to have to go back to feeling like I did in the days following his arrest.

“Because we have a date?”

A date? We have a date? My chest tightens and I rack my brain to see when I agreed to that. “We do?”

“For the trial.”

I mentally slap my hand against my head. Of course he meant the damn trial and not us. We’re not dating, we’re . . . avoiding the fact that we have feelings.

I’m a poster child for mental health right now.

“Yeah, I knew what you meant. It’s just late, and I’m tired, but the trial date is good. I mean—that we have one and it’s five months out. I’m ready for there to be a resolution and . . .”

And your lips are so close.

I can feel the heat of your body as you stand so close to me.

Connor’s cologne fills the air around us, and I inhale, letting it fill me up.

“Ellie?”

“Huh?” I keep looking at his lips and committing the way they move when he says my name to memory.

Slowly, my gaze lifts to his. I see the hunger swirling as he watches me. I want him so badly. I don’t know if it’s because we’re standing in the dark, only the silver rays from the moon illuminating the space around us. Maybe it’s the fact that he smells so damn good. Or maybe it’s because I’m lonely when I’m not near him.

“Connor?” His name is a whisper in the wind.

“Yeah?”

My heart is racing as I grapple with what I want to do, each second feeling like years passing until I stop allowing myself to think. I’ve thought so much, and it’s never turned out well for me.

I want to do.

I want to be.

I want to live.

I close the distance between us so fast that he doesn’t have time to react, and I press my lips to his. It doesn’t take but a second for him to respond. His arms wrap around my waist and he pulls me to him. Our lips move together softly, but the passion is so intense that I feel as though I could melt.

My thumb brushes against the stubble on his cheek, reveling in the tiny prickles against my skin. He makes a noise in the back of his throat, and I swallow it as I allow him to deepen the kiss.

While I may have started this kiss, Connor is leading it. His strong arms tighten as he tilts me back slightly, delving deeper into my mouth.

The memories that I’ve clung to have faded so much more than I thought because kissing Connor is nothing like I remember. It’s as if I’ve been living in black-and-white but have just stepped into full color and the vividness of life around me is blinding.

It’s almost as though this isn’t real and I’ll awaken back in my bed in a moment. If this is a dream, I pray I sleep forever.

Slowly, I move my hands from his face down to his neck as his lips trail down my jaw. “God, Ellie,” Connor’s voice is deep and lusty.

“Kiss me.”

He pulls back, his eyes watching me as though he realized who he is and what we’re doing. “Is this a dream?”

I know how he feels. “No, I’m real. We’re real.”

His nose slides against mine, and I preen at the low grumble that comes from his chest. “I don’t want to push you. I can wait. I will wait. I’ll wait forever for you.”

I appreciate that more than he knows. He tilts my head up to where he can watch me a little closer. “I don’t want you to wait to kiss me.”

His eyes close, and slowly, he kisses me. His soft lips touch mine gently, our breaths mingling as neither of us moves. I feel dizzy, breathless. It’s almost as though I’m suspended and desperate for him to tether me to the world.

I start to move toward him, unable to resist, and then I hear the only thing that could stop me.

“Mommy? Are you in here?”

I step back so fast I almost stumble and turn wide eyes to the doorway to the kitchen. “Hi, sweetheart. What’s wrong? Can’t sleep? Need some water?”

“Connor!” She perks up as soon as she realizes he’s in the room as well. “I didn’t know you were here too!”

“Hey, Squirt.”

She looks to him and then to me. “Let’s get you something to drink and then back to bed.” Maybe if I can usher her out of here fast enough, she won’t ask any questions.

“Why are you both in the dark?”

So much for that idea.

Connor laughs and scoops her up. “Because the lights are too bright. Let’s all get back to bed before the sun comes up and we all melt.”

Hadley giggles. “We don’t melt in the sun.”

“We don’t?”

“No!” Her voice is high and filled with amusement. “People don’t melt, Connor.”

“Well, look at that. You taught me something. Now, Mommy can bring you something to drink and I’ll super tuck you in.”

He looks back at me and winks before heading out.