Come Back for Me (Arrowood Brothers #1)(44)

His arm comes down to the right of me, resting his hand on the table, using it to hold his body up.

“Uh-huh,” I stay, completely frozen, afraid that if I move, I might accidentally touch him, which then might lead to me saying or doing something incredibly dumb. That seems to be something I’ve been fighting a bit harder with each day I’m here.

Kissing him is all I think about.

Wondering if we fit together the way we did all those years ago fills my fantasies.

It’s dangerous ground, but the injuries might be worth it.

“Need help?”

I shake my head and try to focus on the very non-sexy English papers about punctuating dialogue I should be grading.

“Ellie?”

I move my head to the side to look up at his face, hoping that maybe that will be better than the muscles in his arm that are so close. “Yeah?”

He grins, eyes crinkling, and I realize I made a grave mistake. His face is really what’s beautiful, and when he smiles, well, it’s damn near impossible not to get lost.

But I don’t need to be lost.

I need to keep my head on straight, get a divorce, and get the hell out of here.

“You going to stay up much later?”

No, in fact, I’m going to my room right now so I don’t do anything I regret. “I’m done, actually.”

“I was asking because I have to get up early tomorrow. I want to work on the main house instead of the barn. I’d like to check the house and lock up, but I usually wait until you’re in bed.”

“Yeah, all done. Not a big deal. Main house is good. Locks and all that,” I stammer like a fool.

“You all right?”

“I’m great,” I say way too quickly, gathering the papers into stacks that make no sense but needing to do something with my hands. “I’m just tired, you know, working and all the other stuff. Plus, Sydney has the divorce papers all drawn up, and it’s been a lot to sort through.”

“So, you’re going through with it?”

I look up, pulling the papers to my chest as though they’re some kind of barrier of protection. “Of course.”

“I hadn’t heard anything.”

I wasn’t sure what to tell him. It’s one of those things I don’t really want to talk about, but at the same time, Connor and I have spent the last two weeks practically living together, which is strange.

“I’m sorry, I sort of . . . have been waiting since we can’t serve him for a bit.”

He shakes his head. “Don’t apologize, you don’t owe me any explanations.”

No, maybe I don’t owe it to him, but I guess I could’ve mentioned it. But then I think about the last few times we’ve talked and how those conversations have been about what he’s working on here or my job. We’ve been almost avoiding talking about things that are personal.

I don’t know why that is, but there’s something that’s been bothering me for a few days now.

“Connor, can I ask you something?” I say before I have time to stop myself.

“Of course.”

I swallow the nerves since it’s too late to go back now. “Do you want to find out if Hadley is yours?”

His eyes meet mine, and my heart races as I wait for him to say something—anything.

“More than anything.”

“Then why haven’t you said anything?”

He moves closer, pulling the papers from my hands and placing them down on the table. “Because you’ve been through hell and so has she. While I want to know if she is my daughter more than I’ve wanted anything in my entire life, I also won’t be selfish and demand it happen now. I can wait, Ellie. I can wait until you’re ready.”

“Ready for what?”

He lifts his hand, pushing the hair off my face. His voice is soft, careful, and yet, there’s a confidence underlying it all. “Me.”





Chapter Nineteen


Connor





“How are things going?” Sean asks after avoiding my phone calls the last two weeks.

“Like you give a fuck.”

I get that my brother is some big-time baseball player, but he’s fucking annoying when he thinks no one else’s time is as valuable as his. Declan is helping figure out the land values thanks to one of his clients who deals in real estate, Jacob is doing . . . God knows what, but Sean was going to reach out to some guy named Zach Hennington who he played baseball with to figure out the damn cows since he has a cattle ranch.

I’m failing at this part. I have no clue what to do with the animals other than what a very adorable seven-year-old who instructs me to do. Which I have no clue if that’s even right, but it’s better than what I’ve been doing so far. Ellie’s farmhands have been helping me a bit when I have questions, but they’re busy running her farm.

Even though I grew up around the animals, I never really cared much about learning how to run it. I did my chores, which were usually mending fences or the carpentry type things, and my brothers dealt with the animals.

“Look, I’m busy,” he explains. “I did my best, but I have shit going on.”

“And I don’t?” I throw back at him. “I know absolutely nothing about cows, Sean. You’re supposed to handle that part.”