Come Back for Me (Arrowood Brothers #1)(51)

But my resolve is not that strong.

Resisting him is futile, and I’m only lying to myself when I say I want to resist. There’s nothing I want more than to be his.

So, I push my fear to the bottom and ask the only question left that matters. “Will you hurt me, Connor?”

“Never.”

And I believe him.

“Then, yes, I’ll let you kiss me.”





Chapter Twenty-Two


Connor





I wait just a beat in case she changes her mind. The first kiss was everything, but fear had me holding back, the grip I had on my restraint unyielding. This time, I don’t think I can hold back.

But I’ll try.

She’s everything I want and need, and she’s here. I want to pull her into my arms, kiss her until she forgets every bad thing that’s ever happened to her, and give her new memories filled with all the things she should’ve had.

I want it all, and I want it with her.

Slowly, I bring my other hand up and frame her face in my hands. The bruises that marred her skin a month ago are gone, leaving only her gorgeous blue eyes, which have no hint of fear in them. Each day, she heals a little more, and each day, I hope I show her the man I am.

I won’t hurt her. I won’t ever take what she isn’t willing to give. I will only cherish her because she’s a fucking angel.

Our lips move closer together, each breath given over to the moment. I feel the warmth of her body as she leans in.

“You’re everything I remembered and nothing I was prepared for,” I say right before I kiss her.

At first, I go slow, just letting our lips touch and not wanting to scare her with the insane desire I feel for her. I keep myself in check, using every ounce of training I’ve endured. Patience is what she needs, and it’s the last thing I feel when I’m this close to her.

Her hands slide up my back, causing the blanket to fall from her shoulders. And then I kiss her like I’ve wanted to. My tongue slides against hers, and the taste of her is enough to make me want to fucking die.

This is heaven.

This is why she’s an angel sent down to me.

Everything about her is perfect.

I moan, unable to stop myself as I kiss Ellie the way I’ve dreamed of for so long. Our tongues move together as I drink her in. She has no idea what she does to me, and in some ways, I hope she never does.

Ellie consumes my thoughts and dreams. Just a smile can set my entire world ablaze. I’m so far gone, and I don’t even know how it happened. One minute I was here, in this fucking town I hate and surrounded by ghosts, and the next, I was never wanting to leave my house because she and Hadley were there.

She pulls back, resting her forehead to mine. “When you kiss me like this, I can’t think.”

“I don’t want you to think, I want you to feel.”

Her blue eyes lift to mine, and her vulnerability humbles me. “That has always been my downfall. If I used my head more, I never would have gotten into the position I’m in.”

Ellie steps back, and I let her go even though I want to hold her against me. She and I both have demons, and when they’re awoken, I know how hard it is to silence them again.

“I don’t want to take away your choices.”

She turns quickly. “I don’t think you do. I can’t make the same mistakes again, Connor. I jumped feet first into a relationship with a man who I knew wasn’t right for me. I let him . . . hurt me. I gave him power over me in a way that I never should’ve. He broke things inside me, trust that I don’t know can be repaired. I will never be whole or the woman who isn’t a little damaged.”

I move toward her, unable to stay back, but I restrain myself from touching her. “I don’t care if there are pieces of you that are damaged. I don’t care if every inch of you is scarred. Believe me, there are parts of me that are so fucking mangled it would take a miracle to straighten them. It’s not about perfection or being whole—it’s you being you.”

Ellie looks away, tucking her hair behind her ear. “You say these things, and I have to stop myself from falling.”

“If you fall, I’ll catch you.”

“What if I take you down with me?”

“I’ll shelter you so you don’t get injured.”

“And if you’re hurt in the process?” Ellie’s voice is barely a whisper.

“I can handle it.” I inch closer, my hand lifting and tucking the other side of her hair behind her ears. “What I can’t handle is causing you or Hadley pain. I want to make you happy, Angel, not make you cry.”

Her fingers wrap around my wrist as my palm moves to cradle her jaw. But she doesn’t tug my touch away. “It’s just that when you kiss me, I forget myself. I can’t let that happen.”

I rest my lips against her forehead, trying to think of what to say to assure her. I don’t want her to forget herself, only the things around her. I want to give her power and freedom.

When I go to open my mouth, she lifts her head and speaks. “I want you, Connor. I think I’ve always wanted you, but that’s not what I had. I left that night, and we can’t pretend the last eight years haven’t happened. I know that you’re worried that, if you find out Hadley is yours, you won’t be able to pull back, and I’m worried that if we don’t, I won’t be able to move forward.”