By Virtue I Fall (Sins of the Fathers #3)(88)

We’d raised both Anna and Leonas with a strong sense of duty and responsibility. Anna had accepted it outwardly, determined to do us proud. Leonas was more vocal with his protest, and often fought against any kind of rule. With Bea, we’d allowed more freedom, and I sometimes wondered if we should have done the same with Leonas and Anna.

But duty was such a big part of our existence…

“I want you to be happy, more than anything.”

“When you agreed to marry Dad, you didn’t think you could be happy.”

I laughed. “Don’t use my story as yours.” I paused. “I wasn’t emotionally drawn to anyone else. That’s a big difference.”

Anna gave me a curious look. “Neither am I. I don’t have feelings for anyone. I’m sure Clifford and I will find a mutual understanding that’ll make our life agreeable.”

“Spoken like a true politician’s wife.”

“I practiced.”

I nodded but felt even sadder after Anna’s words. Anna was such a passionate woman. I wasn’t sure the confines she was agreeing to in a marriage with Clifford would really suit her. “I met Sofia in the hallway. She told me you still feel guilty because of Santino.”

“I can’t help it but I can handle it, Mom,” Anna said smoothly.

I sighed. “I’ll always be on your side, Anna. No matter what. I know you feel like you can’t share certain things with me, but nothing you could do or say would make me love you any less. From the second you made me a mom, my love for you has been unconditional and it’ll always be.”

“Mom. I can’t cry now.” She hugged me briefly. “I’ll be fine. But thank you.” She didn’t release me immediately. “I love you too.”

I swallowed, wanting to say so much more, but Anna was right. I shouldn’t make her cry. A knock sounded.

“Come in,” Anna said, sounding more composed than I felt.

Dante poked his head in, looking mildly concerned when he found Anna and me close together, and the hot feeling in my eyes probably didn’t go unnoticed either.

“The ceremony is about to start. Is everything okay here?”

His eyes searched mine, trying to find a silent answer to his question. I stepped back from Anna. He finally registered Anna’s dress and took another step in. For anyone who didn’t know him, it would look as if he wasn’t touched by the sight, but his eyes told me a different story. Anna was a gorgeous bride. She was how I’d imagined her. The only thing missing was that she was in love. It was something I’d always wished for her, but our world made impossibly difficult.

“Everything is fine,” Anna assured him with the smile she only had for him. It reminded me of her little girl smiles.

“You look very beautiful.”

“You should go now, or this wedding won’t ever start,” she told me with a teasing smile.

“I’d like another quick word with your mother,” Dante said.

I gave her a quick peck on the cheek before I followed Dante outside. He closed the door, then gave me a searching look. “What is the matter, Val? I don’t like the look on your face.”

“This is a mistake. I can feel it.”

Dante raised one eyebrow. “Val, you suggested a bond with the Clarks, and I think it’s a good move.”

I nodded slowly, because back then I’d been convinced of it, and I still considered a connection to the political elite of Chicago an advantageous move, but I couldn’t see Anna in a bond with Clifford.

“Did Anna say anything? Doesn’t she want to go through with the bond?”

“No, no, she didn’t say anything.”

I wished she had. We wouldn’t have forced her if she’d ever opposed the marriage.

Dante took my hand. “You should return to your seat, Val.”

He probably thought I was being emotional because today marked the day I’d really have to let Anna go, accept that she was grown up and no longer our little girl, but it wasn’t that, at least not only that.

“Do you want me to accompany you back to your seat?”

I huffed. “I’m fine. I’m not sick, only worried and emotional.”

Dante kissed my lips, something he would have never done if we were in public. We protected something that was too precious to share it with people, who in great parts, weren’t friends. “Go ahead.”

I headed back toward the church where I sank down beside Bea and Leonas. The latter raised his eyebrows in silent question. He reminded me more of Dante every day, even if their personalities were different, albeit not as different as Leonas liked to pretend. Soon after, the music began playing.

Clifford waited at the front, a pleasant expression on his face. He, like men in our world, had been raised to keep a mask in public, albeit for different reasons, and his was less hostile. As a politician, he wanted to appear approachable, not foreboding like Made Man, but despite this, I could sense the high barriers he’d built around himself. Anna had mentioned it once, that she feared he’d never lower them for her either because in his family nobody did. We considered our family our safe place, but Clifford didn’t.

When Anna walked down the aisle toward Clifford with the public smile I detested my worry only increased. Clifford and Anna’s eyes briefly met when Dante handed her over to him. The public smiles never wavered.