By Virtue I Fall (Sins of the Fathers #3)(90)

I glanced at my parents. I loved them so much. I wanted to make them proud, but I also needed to follow my heart. Dad’s expression shifted as if he could see something on my face.

God. This would be the scandal of the year.

But Mom’s eyes anchored me. They were full of understanding. They gave me permission to follow my heart before it was too late.

And then another thought rushed through my head. What if Santino didn’t want me anymore? I’d led him around for so long…

And what if he never woke?

It didn’t matter. I didn’t love Clifford, and I never would. I couldn’t live a life like that.

The priest repeated his question, a hint of impatience tinging his words.

I opened my mouth. “No.”

“She won’t,” Mom said at the same time, her clear voice echoing in the church.





Silence reigned in church. Everyone stared at me and Mom.

I couldn’t believe Mom would have stopped the wedding if I hadn’t said no. Or maybe she’d seen on my face that I was about to say no and wanted to show her support.

A boulder seemed to fall off my shoulders and I couldn’t help but smile, for the first time today, in earnest.

Then my eyes met Clifford’s and guilt crushed down on me. He still held the wedding ring but slowly lowered his hand and then dropped it to his side, balling his hand to a fist.

“I’m sorry, Clifford. So sorry. I should have said something sooner, but I really thought I could go through with marrying you.”

He smiled bitterly. “You make it sound as if I’m a punishment.”

“No! That’s not how I meant it but I’m in love with someone else.”

“Of course. Santino.”

I swallowed. The shocked whispers were picking up around us.

“You don’t have feelings for me, and I’m sure it won’t reflect badly on you that our wedding got canceled. I thought being left at the altar would look better in your CV than a divorce, especially with conservative voters,” I said with a teasing smile, but Clifford didn’t smile. He looked dead serious and so did his parents.

“Couldn’t you have decided this before our wedding day?” he asked. “I thought Santino was only a fling.”

He was meant to be only a fling. But he was everything. I should have realized it sooner and been brave enough to act on my feelings. After all, I’d visited him every day despite Enzo’s disapproving gaze and had spent almost every moment worrying about him and not my wedding.

“Excuse me,” Clifford said in a clipped voice. “My father requires my presence. I assume he needs to brief me on how we can destroy your family in the most public way.”

I didn’t get the chance to say more because we walked off. My heart sank. The Clarks would undoubtedly cause major trouble, unless we stopped them. Judging by Dad’s calculating expression, he was already trying to come up with a plan.

I wished I could help him but my mind was a mess. Mom appeared at my side and ushered me through the side entrance, and then back into the room where I’d waited before.

“I can’t believe you stopped the wedding,” I whispered with a stunned giggle.

Mom shook her head as if she couldn’t believe it either. “Your father isn’t happy with us, and I can’t even blame him. He’ll have many sleepless nights trying to figure out a way out of the mess.”

I nodded. Despite my guilt, a relieved smile once again tugged at my lips. I wanted to dance in joy. I’d never felt more relieved in my life, as if suddenly the future held promise again.

“The look on your face is the one of a happy bride,” Mom said with a small smile, touching my cheek.

I bit my lip. I could hardly contain my happiness, even if today marked the day my reputation would be shredded. Maybe things wouldn’t be as bad because many Made Men had been against a bond with a politician. Still, they probably wouldn’t be happy with how things had gone down.

“I know this is because of Santino, and I want you to know that I don’t approve of your bond. I stopped this wedding because I knew you’d be unhappy in it.”

“Is it really so bad that Santino and I have feelings for each other? He took several bullets for me, Mom. He would do everything for me. You shouldn’t be angry at him. I’m the one who put him through hell.”

Mom pursed her lips. “We’ll see.”

Santino was well respected, especially among the soldiers. I knew he’d eventually win Mom over as well. Dad, however… I was anxious about facing him. “Does Dad suspect anything?”

“About you and Santino? Even if he didn’t want to suspect anything before, he’ll certainly come to his own conclusions now, and a failed wedding always makes people assume there’s someone else.”

“I’ll do whatever it takes to protect the Outfit from the waves I’ve caused, okay?”

Mom kissed my temple. “We’ll all handle it together as a family. Now wait here while I try to talk to your father.”

I nodded quickly, and Mom left.

I stared at myself in the mirror. I glowed. Glowed like a bride should on her wedding day. Glowed because my wedding had been canceled.

The door swung open and I expected Dad or Leonas, but Sofia and Luisa slipped in, their faces slack with shock.