By Virtue I Fall (Sins of the Fathers #3)(92)

A suspicion had festered in me ever since I’d seen Anna at Santino’s side when he’d been shot, but I’d chosen to distrust my instinct, because I didn’t like what they were telling me.





Valentina and I had always thought by arranging a marriage with Clifford, we’d make sure Anna had more freedom than other girls in our world. We’d taken our own marriage as reassurance. Our love had developed with time, and we’d thought Anna would make the same experience.

If I’d known she was in love with Santino, I would have canceled the wedding myself. Any bond was bound to fail if one of the parties entered it while being in love with someone else. My marriage to Valentina had almost crumpled because I’d clung to my love to my late wife, no matter how hopeless that love was.

Anna’s love wasn’t hopeless. Or hadn’t been. Right this moment, my emotions were too complicated to decide about Santino’s fate.

I stepped into the small room where Anna had gone. Her expression turned apologetic the moment her gaze met mine, but before the change, I’d seen the blatant relief and joy on her face. Joy over having stopped the wedding.

“I’m sorry, Dad. I know I caused a mess.”

“You did,” I agreed.

She swallowed, wringing her hands in front of her body. She cast her gaze up to the ceiling. “I’ve tried to convince myself every day in the last few weeks, months even, that marrying Clifford would be okay. That I could do it, that I had to do it out of my duty for the Outfit and not to disappoint you and Mom, but today the only thing I could think about while standing beside Clifford at the altar was how Santino was doing and that I wanted to be by his side. If I’d gone through with the wedding, I’d eventually have tried to escape it and caused an even bigger scandal.”

A divorce for a Capo’s daughter would have caused major waves.

If Anna had filed for one at some point, many of my soldiers would have asked me to forbid her from going through with it. I would have stood up for Anna of course, because her happiness was ultimately my main goal, but it would have created unnecessary conflict in the Outfit.

“Are you very disappointed?” she asked.

“Yes.” I was disappointed. In her, but mostly in me, for not having seen what was happening long before. I prided myself on my insight into human nature, and it was what had guaranteed my position as Capo over the years, but with my own daughter, I had failed to see the signs. “I’m disappointed because you didn’t tell me about your doubts before, that you didn’t discuss your decision with your mother and me, and instead suffered through the doubt by yourself only for it to overwhelm you today, in the most inopportune moment.”

“I didn’t want to burden you or Mom. I know you prefer to handle things on your own too. You’re always dutiful and I wanted to be like that too.”

I shook my head. I tried to be dutiful, but in the past, I’d on occasion shoved my duty to the Outfit aside for Valentina. My love for my family had always and would always trump my sense of duty. It was my biggest failure as a Capo and my greatest pride as a husband and father. Today Valentina had chosen her love for our daughter too, and I knew she’d do it again. That’s why I’d never ask her to apologize, and she wouldn’t. “Being dutiful is admirable but not for the sake of your happiness, Anna. Your mother and I wanted you to be happy, to live a life filled with freedoms a bond in our world couldn’t give you.”

Anna frowned. “That’s all? I thought it was to strengthen the Outfit.”

“Indeed. That was what we’d hoped for. But we could have strengthened the Outfit by a bond with the Corsican Union too, for the price of risking your safety. I’d have never considered it.”

“I know,” Anna said with a small smile. “I know you and Mom meant well when you agreed to the engagement. You even asked me and back when I said yes, I really thought I’d have no trouble to go through with it, but then…” She trailed off, obviously considering what she should tell me, but she needn’t worry.

Today the scales fell from my eyes. I’d chosen ignorance too long, wanted to cling to an image of Anna that didn’t reflect the truth. Anna wasn’t a little girl anymore. She was a grown woman. “Then you fell in love with Santino.”

Anger expanded in my chest, forcing me to take a deep breath to keep my calm.

Anna sighed. She came toward me and wrapped her arms around my middle. I hugged her back and felt her relax as if she’d worried I’d shove her away in my anger. Anger that wasn’t even directed at her, but even if it were. Anger would never stop me from showing affection to Anna. I couldn’t imagine her doing anything that would make me shove her away.

“What about him? Does he have feelings for you?” I asked, my voice tightly controlled.

Anna pursed her lips. “You worry he played with me? That he led me on?”

I worried about a lot of things now that I knew Anna and Santino’s relationship had been a far cry from professional. “Santino has known you for a long time, and it could have been easy for him to steer a young girl’s infatuation in a direction that would benefit him.”

Anna’s expression turned offended. “Do you really think I’d be that naive and stupid?”

“You are anything but stupid,” I said firmly. “But naivete comes with young age and your mother and I always worried that your strong empathy would be a hindrance in our world.”