Bittersweet Memories (Off-Limits #4)(27)

This is the car Dad drove me to school in for years, and on hot days, we’d drive far out, and Mom and I would have a picnic on the tailgate. Losing this car hurts more than I expected it to.

I watch as Rob drives away in my father’s truck, and tears burn in my eyes as the last fragment of my life slips through my fingers, leaving me with nothing but the meagre contents that fill my backpack.

My attempts to blink away my tears only have them falling down my cheeks harder, until it becomes hard to see. My lungs burn as I inhale, trying my hardest to keep from sobbing and failing. I bite down on my lip as hard as I can, the pain distracting me from the blinding sorrow I can’t push aside.

Within a matter of weeks, I’ve lost everything. I lost my father, our home, everything he worked for. If he’s looking down at me from heaven, he must be filled with anguish, with regret. I’ll never understand why he did what he did, and the anger I feel fights for dominance with my pain. He knew what impact losing Mom had on us both, yet he walked down the same path, knowingly.

“I’ll leave the rest to you,” I tell Tom, my voice breaking.

“I wish you well, kid. I’m sorry about everything you’ve gone through, and the role I was forced to play in it.”

I smile at him as best as I can. “You’re just doing your job,” I remind him. “But it really is a shit job. You should really find something else.”

Tom chuckles then, and for a single second, my own smile is a genuine one. Then my gaze drops to the home behind him, the one I’ll never step foot inside of again, and a tear drops down my cheek.

I turn away and place one foot in front of the other, forcing myself forward, one step at a time. I’ve got nowhere to go, no one who will take me in. The only place I can think to go is the one place my father never would’ve wanted me to go to — not in these circumstances. This is exactly what he tried to prevent, yet it’s his good intentions that are leading me there.

After what feels like hours, I find myself looking up at the shelter, my heart breaking in a different way as I push the door open.

Ricardo rises from his cubicle by the entrance, his eyes wide. “Alanna! We’ve all been so worried about you. What’s going on? Where have you been?”

I look at him, a small part of me wanting to cling to the pride I no longer have a right to. “Ricardo,” I whisper, my voice hoarse from the tears that haven’t stopped falling since I lost my father. “I need a place to stay. Please, will you take me in?”





Chapter Sixteen





Silas



I stare at my phone, watching it ring, knowing she won’t pick up the phone. Alanna has been declining my calls for weeks now, and I’m worried. I’ve walked all over town, going to every single place she could possibly be, yet I can’t find her. I even went to her school, only to be told that they let her take a few weeks off on compassionate grounds.

I look up at the sound of knocking on my door and end the call with a sigh. “Come in,” I shout, knowing it can only be Ricardo.

He opens the door, his expression grave as he leans in the doorway. “Silas. She’s here.”

I jump up from my bed, my eyes widening. “Alanna?”

He nods. “She asked me for a place to stay, so I pointed her toward the sleeping hall. She was distraught, to say the least, and the backpack she’s carrying seems to be all she’s got. I don’t know what happened, but it doesn’t look good.”

I nod and run a hand through my hair. “She can’t stay in the sleeping hall. It isn’t safe for her. She isn’t used to this, and she…” She’s too beautiful. I’m worried about her safety.

Ricardo nods. “I know, but there’s nowhere else for her to stay. I’ve already broken the rules by not making her fill out all the required paperwork tonight, and I didn’t even check her bag. I can’t break even more rules.”

He looks down for a moment before looking back at me, his gaze meaningful as he glances past me, at my bed. My bedroom is mine, no strings attached. There is no rule against me bringing someone back here, so there should be no problem with me letting Alanna have my bed. The words he can’t say are registering loud and clear.

I nod at him, and he breathes a sigh of relief as he nods back at me. Ricardo lets the door fall closed as he walks away, and I stare at it for a moment. Part of me is scared to go find her. For Alanna to have come here for shelter means she must have been through hell and back in the last couple of weeks. She knows how rough the living conditions are here. She wouldn’t be here if she had any other choice, and I know how prideful she is. It's possible she won't want to see me tonight.

I inhale shakily and walk toward the door resolutely. I won’t risk her getting hurt or being robbed in her sleep, simply to save her pride.

My heart races as I walk to the sleeping hall I spent every night in for two years. I’ve purposely never entered this room at night since I got a bedroom of my own. Escaping this place was one of the hardest things I’ve done, yet here I am, walking back in here willingly. For her.

I spot her almost immediately. Even in her darkest hour, she shines brightly. I watch her for a moment, taking in the despair in her eyes, the way she stares at the bunk bed in front of her in disbelief. She looks so broken, so unlike the girl I’ve fallen in love with, yet there is still so much strength in her posture. She’s beautiful, perhaps even more so now than before.