Bittersweet Memories (Off-Limits #4)(26)

He may not have pulled that trigger, but Dad took his own life, just like Mom did. Why would he do that to me? Why would he leave me here, all alone? He and I were left scarred by Mom’s decision, so how could he, in good conscience, follow her lead?

“We understand that this is an unconventional situation, so the insurance company will work with you to figure out the repayments if you don’t have the full sum anymore.”

I nod, my thoughts still reeling. I thought the loss left me numb, that my heart couldn’t possibly break more, yet it does. “I spent some of the money to pay back loans that Dad took out using the house as collateral, and then there’s all of the funeral costs too. I also paid all of his employees their outstanding wages before the company was officially declared bankrupt.”

“In that case, it’ll become tricky. You’ll owe more than you’re able to pay back, and we’ll have to look at your assets,” the insurance guy says.

I nod, but I can barely focus on the conversation. All I can think about is the last few weeks of Dad’s life. Were there any signs I missed? Is there anything I could’ve done to prevent this? I wish I’d tried harder to get through to him, to make sure he knew I loved him more than anything in the world, more than any of our belongings. I wish he’d known I’d happily live in poverty, so long as I get to have him by my side. I wish I hadn’t tried to act strong and brave, so he wouldn’t ever even have considered leaving me.

I wish I could go back in time, so I could convince him to stay.





Chapter Fifteen





Alanna



I walk out of the home I grew up in for the very last time, my heart heavy with regret as I hand the keys to Tom. I spent more of the insurance money than the house is worth, so my home isn’t the only thing I’m losing. Had I not paid my father’s employees their outstanding wages, I might not have been in as much as trouble as I’m in now.

“I’m sorry it came to this, Alanna,” Tom tells me. “I wish there was a different way, but I’ve done all I can for you.”

I nod in understanding. Considering my case was ruled as insurance fraud, he really has done all he could. Tom worked with me to assess the value of all of my belongings, and the insurance company agreed to write off my debt, provided that I give them everything I have, on compassionate grounds. I lost my car, my mother’s jewelry, and even all the paintings Dad and I collected throughout our travels. I’ve got nothing left to my name. Nothing but the contents of my backpack.

The only thing they let me keep was the truck I’m staring at. It’s one of Dad’s most precious belongings, and though I’ll have to give them the cash I’ll get for it, they allowed me to ensure it’d go to a good home.

When I was younger, I never understood why Dad loved it so much. I remember seeing scrap books with pictures in it, and I realize now that Mom and Dad created those when they were still homeless. This truck was part of the future they envisioned and worked towards, and it must have been one of the first things Dad bought for himself after escaping that life. To him, it wasn’t just a truck; it was proof that he changed his circumstances. That’s why he took such great care of it, and why he loved it above all of his far more expensive cars. It’s probably why it’s the only car he kept as he sold our belongings.

It kills me that I couldn’t protect the truck he loved so much. It’s strange to be so heartbroken over it, when losing the house should hit me much harder. I suppose selling his baby really makes me feel like I’m letting him down. I know that this is the one thing Dad never would’ve let go of. Selling this car would’ve felt like admitting defeat to him, and that’s exactly what it feels like to me. I feel like I’ve failed him.

I brace myself as a kind-looking man steps out of a car parked across the street. After countless offers, it’s his that I accepted. He walks toward me with his young son in his arms. The boy can’t be older than five, and he’s adorable.

“Is this our truck, Daddy? I love it so much!” he says, his voice soothing my aching heart.

“Alanna?” he asks.

I nod and shake his hand. “Mr. Brown, right?”

“Please call me Rob,” he tells me, and I force a smile to my face as he takes a thick envelope out of his pocket. “Please go ahead and count it. It should be the exact amount of money we agreed on. I’m so glad you’re selling this to me, Alanna. My son is obsessed with trucks, and this is the exact one we’ve both been wanting.”

I nod and hand the cash to Tom. It isn’t mine to keep, after all. “That’s why I’m selling it to you,” I admit. “This was my father’s car, and I really wanted it to go to someone just like him, someone with a little kid who’ll love sitting so high up, like I always did. This car holds so many happy memories for me, and I hope you’ll create some of your own too.”

Tom nods at me, and I take the car keys out of my pocket. My hands tremble as I give the keys to Rob, and he smiles at me in understanding.

“I’ll take good care of her,” he promises. “It’s clear your dad loved his truck, and I promise I’ll love her the same.”

I nod, trying my hardest to blink away the tears gathering in my eyes as he puts his son down on the ground, the two of them inspecting the car together. Their excitement is reassuring and enviable all at once. I still remember all the times Dad let me help him wash his car, the two of us making a mess on Sunday mornings.