Before I Let Go (Skyland #1)(25)

Thalia bounced on the balls of her feet as she assessed my own. “If we fight right now with our powers or without, I’d end up hurting you, and I really don’t want to have to explain that to my prince.”

Her prince. Jealousy reared its ugly head even though I didn’t want it to. “I don’t have to explain anything to him.”

Thalia laughed then swatted at my thighs gently. “Widen your stance a little. Find your balance.”

I did as she said, and she grinned victoriously.

“So, what’s the deal with you and Evren?” She moved around me and pressed her hand against my spine. She used it as a board as she wrapped her other hand around my shoulder and forced it back until I stood straight. “Are you just trying to fuck with him by denying the fact that you two are mates? No judgment.” She laughed and held up her hands as she moved back in front of me.

“No.” I shook my head. “I’m not fucking with him. I don’t want to be his mate.”

She looked up at me and the light dimmed in her eyes. “You do realize that it’s not a choice, right? It’s not a choice for either of you.”

“I know.” I quickly looked away from her. “But that doesn’t mean I have to act on it. That I have to allow it.”

“From what I hear, you certainly aren’t not acting on it.”

I stiffened and my gaze slammed back into hers. “And where did you hear that?”

She reached forward and her fingers tapped against my neck. “That little mark right there didn’t happen by itself, unless you’ve found someone else in the castle.”

I could feel my blush creeping up my chest and into my face as I clamped my hand down over my neck. “That was a mistake.”

“No.” She shook her head. “He is your mate. Do you know why everyone seems to already know that fact before you ever open your mouth to tell them?”

I opened my mouth to argue, but she was right. So many had known we were mates before either of us had ever uttered a word.

“Mates are rare these days.” She gripped my hand in hers and balled it into a fist. She fixed each finger until they were perfect as she spoke. “Mating between a vampyre and a Starblessed is even rarer. I’ve never heard of such a pairing.”

“You think we shouldn’t be together?”

“What?” She pressed her hand against my elbow and lifted my arm until it was exactly where she wanted it. “That’s not what I’m saying at all. The two of you have every reason not to be together, every possible force trying to tear you apart, but still, he is your mate.”

“He lied to me about who he was.” My hand trembled.

“And he saved you.” She looked up at me and there was so much pain staring back at me. “He told me that Gavril took from you before you left.”

I winced, but she still held my hand firmly in her own.

“So, I don’t have to tell you how horrible it is, how horrible he is, but he is capable of so much worse.” Her gaze ran over my face, and I could see her memories raging inside her. “He would have been so much worse, Adara.”

“He’s the one…” I looked down at her scarred arms and swallowed harshly as I thought about the sheer amount of times he had to take from her.

“Yes.” She nodded and stood straighter. “Every scar that lines my body is from the crowned fae prince, and I will never allow him to take from me again. Evren helped me ensure that his brother would never be able to do so again.”

Her words hit me in my gut because she was speaking truthfully. This woman had endured far more than I could ever fathom, and still she stood at Evren’s side.

“And you trust Evren completely?”

“With my life.” She nodded once before taking a small step back. “I would give my life to protect our prince, and as his mate, I will do the same for you.” Her hand came down and patted me on the stomach, and I let out a harsh breath due to her declaration and her hand. “Now we need to work on your breathing.”

“I’m breathing just fine,” I gritted through my teeth.

“No. You aren’t.” She took a deep breath, and I watched her chest rise and fall. “If you want to be a weapon, you must be able to control the things inside you that are needed to cleave this world.” She tapped against my thigh. “Your balance and your breathing are two of the most important things. Without those, nothing else matters.”

“Okay.” I nodded and tried to focus on what she was saying. I tried not to think about where Evren was at that moment or the danger he was putting himself in.

I forced myself not to think about why I cared.

Instead, I focused on Thalia, and I was cursing her by the end of our training session. Sweat was rolling down my back, and my legs throbbed as I made my way down the hall to my room.

“Wait up,” Thalia called out before jogging in my direction. I leaned against the wall because I was certain I would fall without it.

“I can’t handle any more today.” I wiped my brow with my sleeve. “Call me weak all you want, but I need a long, hot bath.”

Thalia snorted before shoving a book in my direction. “This is for you.”

The book was bound in brown leather that was fraying on the edges, and no writing creased its bindings. “What’s this?” I quickly flipped through the pages and stopped when I saw a drawing of a Starblessed.