Before I Let Go (Skyland #1)(20)

“I need to go back to my room.” I tried to pull away from him, but his arms tightened against me and his forehead pressed against the back of my neck.

“Please don’t do this.”

Panic clawed at my chest, a caged animal looking to rage, and I knew I needed to leave.

“Let me go, Evren. I want to go back to my room.”

His hands shook against my skin, but he finally let out a harsh breath against me before letting them fall to my sides. I scrambled away from him, and I could feel the proof of what we had just done dripping down the inside of my thighs.

I quickly grabbed his shirt from where it lay discarded on the floor, and I pulled it over my head. I needed the protection, anything to put space between us.

Evren was still kneeling on the bed before me, and I could hardly look at him without feeling regret. It wasn’t what we had just did that filled me with anguish. It was regrets over why we were here. Regrets over what fate had forced us into. I regretted forcing myself to take another heavy step away when every part of me was begging me to return to him.

“Stay.” He reached out for me, but I took another hurried step back.

“No.” I shook my head and wrapped my arms around myself as doubt and fear ate at me. “I shouldn’t have let you bring me in here in the first place.”

He swallowed hard as he flinched back from my words. “Don’t fool yourself into thinking you didn’t want this.” He ran his hands through his hair, but I couldn’t stop myself from looking down his body. Every part of him was chiseled from years of work and dedication. He was a warrior in every sense of the word, and it was masterful to see.

And it was just the reminder I needed to remember who he was. He was a prince first and a warrior second, and he wasn’t mine at all.

“I need to leave.” I looked back up at his face, and he looked so dark and beautiful still kneeling before me. “This can’t happen again.”

“We both know that’s a lie.” He climbed from the bed, and I stepped back to put more space between us. “We both know neither one of us is capable of staying away from the other.”

“I don’t know that.” I tried to convince him along with myself.

“You are so fucking good at so many things, princess, but lying isn’t one of them.” He ran his thumb over his bottom lip, and I felt desperate to go to him and pull that lip into my mouth. “Your body was craving me just as badly as I was craving you.”

“I’ll find someone else to crave.”

He stopped on his path toward me, and I could see his magic swirling in his eyes. Dirty, dark, beautiful magic.

“Don’t say things like that to me, Adara.” His hands fisted at his sides. “I will destroy anyone who even thinks about touching what’s mine.”

“I’m not yours.”

“The fuck you aren’t,” he growled. “I’ll let you keep telling yourself that if that’s what you need, but just remember what you cried out to me just moments ago. Remember that I am your fucking mate, and there is no one else who can give you the things that I can.”

I watched him without saying a word. My chest rose and fell harshly, and the warring feelings inside me felt like they were soon to crash.

“I hate you.”

“Yet the way you fuck me says otherwise.” He lifted his hand and ran the tip of his finger along his tongue. “There’s a fine line between hate and love, princess, and the taste of your pleasure on my fingers tells me you loved every fucking second of what just happened.”

My stomach clenched, and I reached for the door handle at my back. If I didn’t leave this room, he would have me on my knees begging him for more.

It opened with a loud groan, and Evren’s gaze shot to my hand. “Run back to your room.” He ran his hand down his cock, and I couldn’t stop myself from watching him. “I know where to find you.”





CHAPTER 7





I hadn't left my room since I ran out of Evren’s several hours ago. Nor had I heard a sound from him.

I told myself it was a good thing. I couldn't clear my head. I couldn’t form a single logical thought when he was around. It was like his magic, everything that he was, distorted my reality, and it was hard to remember why he wasn't good for me. The memory of his betrayal slipped through my fingers effortlessly.

But when I was alone, that was all I could think about. The way his skin felt against mine, the way my heart felt like it was crushing inside of me when I found out who he really was. Those thoughts warred inside of me endlessly, my want and my hate.

They were driving me mad, and I could handle it no longer.

The palace was quiet as I creaked open my door and peeked outside. Evren's door was securely shut, and nightfall had darkened the hallway. But even as fear tightened in my chest, my stomach rumbled. I had turned Mina away at dinner time simply because I wasn't ready to face her and know that she could possibly see the marks of him along my skin.

I was barely able to look at myself in the mirror.

I gently shut the door behind me before slipping down the hall in search of the kitchens.

I passed by doorway after doorway of rooms I didn't know, and I realized that I had seen very little of this palace. Almost every moment I had spent here, I had been locked inside my room. But the kitchen was typically the heart of the home, and I assumed that meant no different to the royal family.