Before I Let Go (Skyland #1)(26)

“It has a lot of our history.” She shrugged. “Evren said that you were a reader, so I wanted to give you this in case you were interested.”

I pushed off the wall before I could think better of it and wrapped my arms around her. “Thank you.” My power writhed inside me, and the book burned in my hand. I barely knew Thalia, but already she felt like more than just a member of the Blood Court. She felt like my ally, and this book she had just given me, this knowledge into who I was, meant more than I think she could ever realize.

“You’re welcome.” She pulled away quickly and pushed her hair out of her face. “Now get some rest. We’ll start again early tomorrow.”

“Okay.” I nodded and held the book close to my chest as she left me standing there. I forced my stiff legs to move and headed toward my room. I flipped the book open again, the scent of old paper calming my racing heart, and I smiled.

I made it to my door but hesitated as my power pulled inside me. I glanced back over my shoulder and my gut twisted as I stared at Evren’s door. He’s not there. I repeated the words over in my head and tried like hell to get my power to understand.

But it wasn’t just my power that needed him, that was going insane with worry. Thalia had distracted me, but now there was no one to keep my fear from destroying me.

I pushed across the hall and ran my hand over his door. The aged wood was smooth beneath my fingers, and I found myself reaching for the handle with trembling fingers.

I should have gone back to my room, but I twisted the handle and was shocked when it opened without an ounce of resistance. I quickly stepped inside and closed the door behind me. His room was dimly lit by a small fire that Mina must have kept going for him, and his bed was still rumpled in the way he left it.

I moved toward it, careful and shaking. The scent of him was overwhelming as I sat down on the edge of the bed and allowed my fingers to clutch the linens.

I took a deep breath, breathing in the memory of him, and something deep inside of me settled. This was his room, his home, and I shouldn’t have been there.

But that didn’t stop me from kicking off my boots or stripping out of my sweaty clothes. I truly needed a bath, but I couldn’t force myself to leave his room.

Instead, I grabbed a black shirt that was thrown haphazardly over his chair and pulled it over my head. I was instantly engulfed by the smell of him, and I lifted the neckline and pressed it against my nose.

Just a few minutes. That was all I needed. A few minutes and I would disappear from his room as if I had never been there at all.

That was what I told myself as I climbed into his bed and pulled his dark covers up over my shoulders. A few minutes alone in his bed, and the ache I felt over him being gone would start to disappear.





CHAPTER 9





I covered my head with my blanket as the loud banging continued. I wasn’t ready to wake up or face whoever was waiting for me on the other side of that door.

I groaned and pressed my pillow to my face as I tried to block them out. My pillow that smelled exactly like Evren.

Evren, whose room I was currently invading.

“Shit.” I threw the pillow to the end of the bed as I shot up and looked around me. The sun was shining in through the window, and it gave me no chance to pretend that I hadn’t spent the entire night in Evren’s bed.

“Wake up, Adara!” Thalia’s voice rang through the hall, and I cursed again as I jumped from the bed.

My muscles were still stiff and achy, but I didn’t have time to deal with that right now. Instead, I ran to the door and pulled it open before Thalia alerted the whole damn castle that I was missing.

“I’m up.”

Thalia swirled in my direction, a new set of clothing resting in her arms, and the annoyed look on her face fell as soon as she spotted me in Evren’s doorway.

“What are you doing?”

“Sleeping.” I crossed my arms and prayed that she didn’t make a big deal of this.

“Okay.” She nodded and moved across the hall to hand me the clothes. Her gaze danced with humor and a grin graced her lips. “Get dressed, then let’s get some breakfast. We have training to do.”

“Right.” I pulled the clothes to my chest as I shut the door and took a deep breath. I hurried to Evren’s bathroom and got myself ready for the day.

My hands trembled as I shoved my legs into the trousers. I was excited for our training today, excited to feel more in control of my power. But I was also flustered by the fact that she had just found me in Evren’s room, that I had felt the need to be here in the first place.

Thalia had brought an outfit that looked almost identical to the one from the day before. I looked at myself in his mirror as I tucked my shirt into my trousers, and I didn’t have a clue what I was doing.

I still smelled like him, my hair, my skin. The memory of him was floating along every inch of me, and I hated to admit how much comfort it brought me.

I had no plan for what I wanted, for what I would do, but it would be foolish of me to not soak in every bit of training Thalia was willing to give me. Her help was far too valuable. I pulled my hair back away from my face and tucked my dagger back into my boot.

I was just about to leave the room when I passed by his small desk and spotted something shining in the sunlight. I stopped, my hand aching to reach forward and find out what it was.