Torrent of Tears (Scourge Survivor Series Book 3)(48)
A devilishly wicked grin spread across his jaw. It caught my breath. His eyes searched mine, his tongue wetting his full bottom lip. He wanted to kiss me. For a moment, his eyes sparkled with it. His hand lifted, a finger traced down my jaw.
When it touched the edge of my velvet choker, the sparkle dimmed. He stepped back as if a few feet would cancel out the sexual tension filling the room. “Do you remember how to start the shower?”
“Why’d you shut down?”
He lifted his fingers and counted off his reasons. “The Queen’s claim on me, Elani’s safety, your impending marriage, my state of dishonor, your grief for Tham, your being drunk . . .” He reached to touch me, then crossed his arms tight against his chest. “There’s more to consider here than how badly I want to seduce you.”
There was a vulnerable wonder in his voice that made me ache. No seduction necessary.
“It’s a bad idea. All around.”
Coward. Even though I knew something of penis-related rejection, and couldn’t argue with what he was saying. I also couldn’t help the sexual frustration. “I’m half-drunk, actually, but I’m also covered in blood and sweat. Frankly, I don’t sleep well when I’m sticky.”
I undid the clasp of my bra and tossed it, then down went the slip of leopard print silk from my hips. “You go make your list of excuses, Doc. And while you’re lying in your big ole bed tonight, rock-hard and you give in and take things into your own hands—and we both know you will—remember that you walked away. And when you’ve got your rhythm and your chest is pumping and heat is radiating like your internal furnace is about to ignite, think about me standing here naked. Remember you didn’t have the stones to take what you want.”
He sucked in a breath and scowled. “Keep the water from wetting your dressing. Focus your ability. I’ll check on you in the morning when you’re sober.”
“Oh, bite me,” I shouted over my shoulder and slammed the shower door.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Lonely, horny and just this side of being a quivering, moist mess, I summoned the water on as hot as I could stand and let the spray sting my skin from four separate shower heads. For Goddess sake, who needed four shower heads?
I wanted to cry. All this pent-up energy ebbing and throbbing through me and Rowan had found his reasonable streak. Sex wouldn’t have to mean anything. I just wanted to climb him like a jungle gym and release some of this energy. I tipped my head back and washed my hair, concentrating on keeping the water flow from my bandages.
A rush of cool air made my nipples tighten and my eyes jerk open.
The shower door was open and Rowan was stepping into the spray. “Damn, woman, mind if I turn this down?” Rowan passed his hand over the screen and the temperature adjusted, then he closed us in together.
The powerful muscles of his upper body shifted and flexed as he moved, but that wasn’t what had my lips parting. His erection was massively thick and by the way it stood, from his groin to his navel, proud to be in the game. Spectacular.
I tore my gaze from his sex and something in me melted. The fear and hopelessness in his eyes ripped at my heart. “I didn’t walk away because of the reasons I told you . . . though all of them are still true.”
“I’m a big girl, Doc. This doesn’t have to be anything more than it is. What’s—”
“What if I can’t?” He swallowed, his tawny complexion gone pale. “What if I can’t get the feel of her off me? I don’t want to bring her into this.” He bit his lip and dropped his head back. “I swear to the gods I’ve scrubbed my skin ‘till I’ve bled and yet I always feel her touching me. What if I’m with you and ruin things because of her? I’ll lose my mind.”
“Has it happened before?” I read the answer in his silence. “You haven’t been with anyone else the past four years?”
He shook his head. “How could I? I’m polluted.”
“It’s not your fault. Any of it. You know that, don’t you?”
He let the water darken and soak his chestnut hair but never took his eyes off me. “What if I can’t get the feel of her off me?”
We moved in slow, sensuous tandem, shifting our feet, our bodies edging ever closer. “If you need more, take it. If you need rougher, do it. If you need me to twist you inside out, tell me.” I laid my hands on the wide flat planes of his chest and he shuddered. “That woman has no place here. I’m willing to bet that once the two of us get started, we’ll sandblast her from your body and your mind.”
The ridge of tension in Rowan’s brow eased a little. He reached past me to retrieve a cloth and a bar of sweet-smelling soap from an inset shelf. After wetting the cloth under the stream of water, he turned the soap in his palms and created a frothy lather.
“Raise your arms for me and hold on,” he said, eyeing two of the shower heads above me.
I did what I was told and forced myself to remain still as he washed away the blood and sweat of my evening. With slow sensual strokes, he started at my neck, down my shoulder blades, and spent considerable time sliding those silky bubbles across my chest and circling both my breasts.
Lower. Please gods, lower.
He continued down my navel, the heat of his need filling the steamy chamber surrounding us. His attention slid to the outside of my hips, followed the controlled stream of water avoiding my bandaged injury, and spent extra time on the other side, visiting my tattoo. “You have the sexiest ass I’ve ever seen.”