Torrent of Tears (Scourge Survivor Series Book 3)(44)

I lifted my wrist up and let the golden hawk of my Talon brand appear on the surface of my skin. “I swear, on my honor as a warrior and your guardian, that you and I are a team. You aren’t alone in this world anymore.”

His hug clutched even tighter the second time around.

Rowan appeared in the doorway. “Could I, uh . . . talk to you a minute?”

I let Coal go and brushed my tears away. “I’ve heard enough from you for a lifetime.”

He stared at the marble floor of the bathroom. “I’d like to apologize to you properly. In private.”

I stepped behind Coal, pulled him against me and crossed my hands over his chest. He was the tiniest shield imaginable, but I felt better having him there. “The only thing I’m interested in is how to start the shower. Once I get cleaned up, Coal and I will be making tracks.”

“You don’t need to. I don’t want you to go.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t care what you want. I won’t stay here. You’ve made it clear what you think of me. I won’t hear any more from you—”

“Marry me.”

My jaw fell slack. “What?”

“You heard me.” He rammed his fisted hands deep into the pockets of his slacks. “You have to marry a Noble within the next three days anyway and Zale’s a womanizing prick—”

“And you’re a prick of a different breed,” I snapped. “And as proposals go, that sucked by the way.”

His jaw clenched and hollowed. “I believe we want the same things for Attalos. You care about justice and people . . . and you can’t deny we’ve got incendiary chemistry.”

“So, does a Molotov cocktail, but I won’t be hitting the horizontal with one of those either. Burn me once shame on you, burn me twice . . .” I shook my head. “Not interested.”

He exhaled and ran a rough hand through his bronze waves. “I was an asshole. No argument. But you can’t begin to understand how out of my mind I am after a night of . . .” He looked at Coal and stepped inside the bathroom. “Are you really going to make me do this in front of him? Because I’m not leaving until you hear me out.”

I thought about twisting the knife. Laughing at Tham’s death was unforgiveable, but Coal was an innocent bystander in this mess. After a deep inhale, I bent down and kissed the top of his head. “Hey, buddy. You slept through breakfast. Why don’t you go to the kitchen? Ms. Leda saved you some of the casserole she made for me and Terran this morning.”

I could read in his eyes that he was torn—hunger versus concern. I nudged him toward the door and flashed him a genuine smile.

O.K., he signed. It was awkward but understandable.

“I’m good. I promise,” I said, beaming that we’d had our first official conversation.

When Rowan and I were alone amongst the elegant porcelain fixtures and gleaming stone, I crossed my arms and waited.

“I screwed up. I’m sorry.” He groaned and propped himself up against the vanity looking ill. “It was a humiliating night. And then I back came to this house . . . and you were laughing with soldiers, two of them Strati . . . and I was thinking about my parents and how Strati slaughtered them . . . and what they did to Elani . . . and you looked so good, your cheeks all flushed from your workout.

He turned his back to me and gripped the counter his head hanging down. “I’m so fucking tainted,” he whispered. “I’ll never stand up to your perfect image of Tham. I hate myself for being jealous of a dead man and I hate him for having the love and respect of—”

“Whoa.”

His head came up and he looked at me through the mirror.

The self-loathing in his eyes killed me, it did, but the ache in my chest didn’t thaw. “I’ll forgive that you were out of your mind and you fucked up. I am the last person to judge someone for popping shit, but you crossed the line when you brought Tham into your little rant of self-destruction. You laughed. He’s dead and you laughed.”

“I didn’t mean it like that. I swear. It won’t happen again.”

“No. It won’t.” I turned and opened the door to the shower. “Could you show me how this works? I’d like to get cleaned up before I go.”

“Go where?”

I glared over my shoulder. Did he really think he was getting in on my plans to avenge Tham? He must have caught my none-of-your-damn-business vibe because sadness suddenly clouded his eyes.

“Sure,” he muttered. “Here, it’s easy.” He reached for my hand and I pulled it back. He frowned and cleared his throat, but didn’t try to touch me again. “These are designed for Water Fae. You place your hand on the control pad and summon the water. Concentrate on the temperature and the force and it will come as you will it.”

I looked at the small screen he was indicating. “Good, thanks.”

He nodded and backed out of the room. As he pulled the door closed behind him, I could feel how badly he needed me to let him off the hook. Sorry. Nope. Incendiary chemistry or not, it wasn’t happening. I already had a date with four very deserving men.

Alone, I stripped off my clothes and left the pile in the middle of the bathroom floor. There was a mountain of thick, puffy towels in the stand-up cabinet and I pulled out a couple. One I tossed on the floor and the other I straddled over the heated rail outside the shower.