The Girl Who Cried Wolf(25)
The Being communicates telepathically and I find my new language in response to him; not words exactly, but sounds and vibrations thought to one another. I sense a gentle maleness about him and he tells me that he is my Guide.
This was happening to me. I was neither dreaming nor hallucinating, and far from being dead, I had never felt more alive.
***
The Guide continues in this same rippling movement, in one direction and with determined focus. Communication has ceased and my thoughts and feelings seem separate from my being. I cannot rationalise, panic nor feel elated. I am being taken along like a fallen leaf on a fast flowing river. I think I was becoming quite accustomed to this charming experience when it ended very suddenly and I find myself standing alone, sense and emotion returned. I feel I have been awakened and now possess knowledge of unknown depths. My journey through light has told me that I have come home, to a place where illness can no longer torture my soul.
The most beautiful view of a valley is before me, with rolling meadows and fields upon fields of long grass showcasing wild flowers that dance in the gentle breeze. I’ve been here before. I’m certain. This feels like somewhere on earth. Can you remember a time when you have visited somewhere heart achingly beautiful? Like a white beach on a Mediterranean island, where you can walk a hundred yards out into the turquoise ocean and the water is still crystal clear? Or woodlands with thick carpets of pine needles where sunlight twinkles through the heavy canopies above? Did you think those places felt like heaven? That they are so calming and serene that you feel inspired to believe this cruel life may be worth living after all?
I look out and breathe in the true beauty of the universe, and walk through the long grass towards the sounds of a stream running over stones in dips and troughs. I feel young, and I quicken my pace; clusters of wild poppies remind me of Elm Tree.
A small boy is leaning over the water. He turns and waves as he hears me approaching, and it feels perfectly natural that I should go straight to him.
‘I’m Anna,’ I say with more than a little uncertainty as I find I am using words again rather than thoughts.
He looks only six or seven, and says nothing, just leans further over the water.
‘What are you doing?’
‘I’m waiting for Michael.’ He looks at me and I see it in his face. I know him instantly.
‘You’re Benji?’
‘Please don’t call me that. I’m not a Collie. Ben is fine, or Benjamin. Ben is better.’
‘Michael told me about you, that you drowned and he couldn’t save you.’
‘I know. I’m waiting for him and when he comes I will tell him he never needed to feel all that guilt, I chose to stay here. I didn’t want to go back.
***
I wanted to ask Ben more, but he had started to frown so I didn’t press him. ‘Do you stay here by yourself and wait for him?’
He looks at me like I’m crazy. ‘Of course not. I have very important things to do. I just come here when I need to think, and The Sphere can be a hard place to concentrate.’
‘It’s not that different from your reality. People wait for each other, and when they come they need somewhere to go, right? You could stay here for ever if you want to, or you can go back.’ He juts out his chin determinedly, reminding me of Michael. ‘I’m not going back,’ he says proudly. ‘I’m going to be a Guide. I’ve advanced far enough now, my last task is to free my brother of his pain then I’ll move on to the next level.’
‘How many levels are there?’ I want this young boy to tell me everything he knows.
‘Only three to concern yourself with.’ He draws three lines in the ground beneath us. ‘This is the middle level, most people come here. These are people who are essentially good. They might have lied, cheated, stolen, or even robbed a bank. But the human frailties that lead to such mistakes are forgiven. If you don’t learn from your mistakes and seek forgiveness during your earth life, then you must learn from them here. Once you have become learned, and completed your tasks, you can go back to being human, stay here, or advance to the highest levels. You can guide lost souls from there or watch over loved ones. You can communicate with the awakened on earth and you can teach. I want to Guide.’
This enlightenment is strangely familiar. ‘Is the lower level like Hell?’
‘It is not the Hell you’ve been taught to imagine, but you wouldn’t want to be there for very long. Very bad people go there, all the dark souls. They have to face the things they’ve done wrong and experience the pain they inflicted on others. When they are truly sorry, and forgiven by those they have wronged, they may begin to advance towards the light. As superior beings we seek progression – no soul was born to stay still. Even the most microscopic entities strive to grow and advance; it is the way of the universe.’
I must look uncertain as he goes on to tell me, ‘Beings are forgiven, Anna, because that is natural progression. Bad people are bad for reasons we may never understand, but they have free will the same as all of us and if they choose to seek forgiveness and advancement then they shall. If not, they simply stay in the darkness. All the things people do on earth are a mere prelude to a journey that begins here. Life on earth is about learning. Learning to love rather than hate and to help one another with acts of kindness and compassion. After you’ve spent some time here, you’ll wonder why so many find such simplicity so difficult. Why everything’s so messed up.’