See How She Runs (The Chronicles of Izzy #1)(35)
I felt Kennan brush his lips against my forehead before whispering something in that language I did not understand. As he shut the door I heard Ian ask him, “How the hell are you going to handle this man? What would her father think?" Ian asked with laughter.
“Don’t think I don’t know man. It is wrong on so many levels, but it is something better left alone. You got me?”
That was all I heard before being pulled into my dreams. My sleep was fitful.
**********
I dreamed of rolling green hills and saw myself standing on a cliff looking down at the ocean. The waves crashed against rocks. I stood there taking in the thundering and wondered what it must be like to swim against such a great force. I heard my name and as I turned I saw my mother standing behind me.
“Mom?" I asked, wondering if this was just a dream or if she were really there.
“Baby, I won’t be back again. I want you to know how much I love you. But it is my time. I feel myself fading. I just couldn’t leave without telling you goodbye.”
I ran to her and threw myself in her frail arms.
“Please don’t leave me!" I begged as I buried my face in her boney shoulder. “I can come and get you. Just wait a little longer. Please mom. Please don’t leave me again, not when I just found you.”
“Oh my sweet, sweet girl. It is my time. I am not scared, I am relieved. I can finally be with your father once more. And what is left of me is not worth saving, Little One. You have so much more ahead of you. I am but a shell of what I once was." She lifted my face to look me in the eyes. Her tears mirrored my own. “You be brave, you understand me? You are stronger than you will ever know. I will love you for always, my sweet girl.”
She let me go and walked away disappearing into the fog that was rolling in around me.
I yelled out for her. Sobs racked my body. I tried to find her in the fog but only got lost myself. I fell to my knees yelling out.
“Mom, please don’t leave me. I am all alone. You are all I have," I begged with all of my heart, screaming as loudly as I could.
**********
I was jolted to the present by Kennan shaking my shoulders. Tears coursed down my face as I pulled myself into him and sobbed. She was gone. I was too late.
I heard Kennan whisper something in my ears and I felt the connection sever. He had put the whammy on me again. But I did not fight it. I couldn’t handle another vision or anything at the moment. My body wrung out by the sobs that had wracked it moments before. I was left empty and alone. I heard him whisper something more before the darkness enveloped me and I fell into a dreamless sleep.
When I finally woke the next morning the truth of the previous night rushed in. I felt strangled by the loss of everyone I held so dear. But I pushed the grief down and I replaced it with anger. I let the anger encompass me. I allowed it to comfort me in a way my grief couldn’t. I sought it out and brought it in. I let the grief go and resolved myself to stop the people that had stolen everything I cared for. I would not allow myself to wallow any longer. It was time I grew up, and fast.
I walked out into the living room, after putting on some clothes and my favorite sweater. Both Kennan and Ian were up and talking in hushed tones. They looked at me expectantly, as if I were about to burst into tears at any moment. By all rights, I should have, but the pain had numbed me. There were only so many times a heart could be broken. I looked at both of them and something in my expression must have translated my resolve. They both exhaled as though they had been waiting for an eruption.
“It is time I stop hiding and start doing something. My feet feel better today, so I suggest we head out and get me acquainted with the rest of the escape routes. So you gentlemen should probably pack up. We are leaving right after breakfast." With that I turned and headed for the kitchen, only to have Kennan and Ian rush to stand in front of me.
Kennan lifted his hand as if to brush the hair from my face. I looked up into his eyes and said, “Don’t. I am fine." He dropped his hand, unsure of what to do. I suppose he had never seen me like this before. Lord knows, I had never felt like this before.
Ian, dressed in an equally ridiculous outfit as the day before, clapped his hands together and said, “Sweet, hiking. I love hiking." He winked at me and I was suddenly grateful to have him there.
Kennan stepped aside and let me move into the kitchen to fix myself some breakfast. I did not bother trying to feed Kennan and Ian. I am not sure I would have even known how much to cook for the two of them. Instead, I grabbed some yogurt and a banana. As soon as I was finished, I headed into my room to pack the supplies I might need for the day and checked the map. I decided to try a shorter route than the last time. I feared my feet might not make it through another twenty mile hike.
By the time I made it back out into the living room, Kennan and Ian were both ready to go. Kennan looked like his sexy Brawny Man self and Ian looked like he had just left Woodstock. I headed for the door and told them which trek we would be making that day.
We spent the day walking through the woods, never talking about anything of any importance. My anger had subsided into a dull burning that kept my grief at bay. I embraced the numbness, allowing myself to revel in its freedom. We made it through the trek with very little incident and came out to a dirt road where an old, beat up SUV awaited me. I turned toward Kennan and held out my hand for the keys. Then we made our way back to the cabin.