See How She Runs (The Chronicles of Izzy #1)(39)

“Yes, he is my brother. His real name is Xavier O’Malley. The way Guardians come into existence is similar to yours. When a Seer and a Guardian have a child that child will either be a Guardian or a Seer based on whether they are female or male. Can I sit? This is a really long story and not one I have told many people," Kennan asked and moved toward the bed to sit when I patted the mattress.

Kennan’s body heat soaked into me and I found it hard not to get distracted by his closeness or the shape of his mouth. His lips just looked so dang kissable. Hard and soft in all of the right places. Jesus, Izzy, put that on the back burner. Long story, muddled past, big bad brother. Priorities. I tuned back into Kennan just as he began to speak again.

“Our father was a good man. He was joyful and giving. He loved to laugh and he loved everyone with abandon. Including our mother. You see, we Guardians don’t get to choose who we protect. We don’t always end up with romantic feelings toward our Seers, but it happens in about half of the cases. Otherwise our races would die out, you know? Well, not all Seers are good Izzy. Neither are Guardians I suppose. We are just like humans in that there are those that want to help others and those that wish to only help themselves. My mother was the latter," he said pausing. I could feel him slipping back into his memories, and I struggled not to sift through them myself.



“Our father, Shaemus, wanted so badly for our mother to be good that he eventually stopped seeing the truth of what she was. I don’t doubt she loved him. I am sure in her own way she did. But he was never enough for her and neither was I. I am like my da you see? I want the world to be a better place than it was when I got here. My brother on the other hand, well, he was quite useful to our mother. She taught him how to get into visions and dream walk. She taught him how to hack into any Seers thoughts and use them for his own gain. When she finished teaching him everything she knew, she hoped he would help her to gain the sort of life she had always wanted. What she got from him instead was a knife to the back."

I breathed in hard as Kennan braced himself to finish a story that was not often spoken.

“I saw him do it, Izzy. And you know what the worst part was? He looked up at me and smiled afterward. Every ounce of decency abandoned and replaced with greed and corruption. I knew in that moment that he was not the brother I had grown and played with any longer. That man had been replaced by a creature of my mother’s making. One she could not even control in the end. He disappeared that night, and my father died six months later, heartbroken. He finally realized the truth of everything he had turned his eyes from over the years. He made me promise that I would stop Xavier.”

Kennan looked at me as if the next part of the story was something he wished he did not have to tell me. A chill crawled up my spine as I awaited his next words.

“I could have killed him the day he killed your dad. Your mom knew that he was coming and exactly where he would be. You see, our mother taught me how to vision walk as well, but once she realized I would not do her bidding, she gave up on me. Well, I had seen your mother’s vision. I knew precisely where it would happen, and I did nothing to stop it. I went that day prepared to kill him, but I couldn’t. I could not see the monster he truly was. All I saw was the boy I had played with as a child. I saw him take your mother away and heard her voice in my head telling me it was all as it was meant to be. Even at the last, she tried to comfort me for my weakness. Then he shot your father. Xavier knew I was there watching."

I could barely breathe. I had always wondered how he got there quickly enough to be with my father as he died.

Kennan would not look as me as he continued. “Your father did not know I could have prevented it. He paid a price that should have been mine. He was caught in the middle of a rivalry that has lasted hundreds of years. I don’t think your dad knew that I had seen the whole thing happen. But I remember every second of it. I remember watching his life slip away and your mother being yanked away. I remember her calming assurance and I remember your big hazel eyes staring up at me from the trunk of that car like I was a savior and not the coward I truly am. I am just as weak as my father and that weakness has caused you to lose everyone you loved.”

We were both quiet for a long time before either one of us could talk. I was hurt that he had kept all of this from me, but I realized it was not out of malice that he had done so. He had not told me because his inaction brought him shame. I reached over and grabbed his hand. Kennan was just as much a victim of circumstance as I was. Part of me was angry that he hadn’t stepped in, but in his place I don’t think I could have done it either.

“Kennan,” I said hesitantly, “I didn’t lose everyone I loved. I had Grams for a long time, and Mike. I also have you," I said, and I knew the truth of it. I loved Kennan with my whole heart. He had protected me when no one else could have, and brought me back from darkness more times than I could count. I wasn’t ready for him to know the depth of that love just yet so I hastily added, “You are my best friend. I would be lost without you."

Ugh, lame. I am such a pansy.

Kennan sighed and leaned back against the wall, as though a heavy weight had finally lifted from his shoulders. The burden of his secret must have been unimaginably heavy. He sat there, silent, for a long time before a yawn escaped my lips. He looked at me and asked something I never thought I would hear.

“Can I stay in here tonight? I just need to be close to your sunshine for a while." The rare glimpse at his emotional side staggered me.