See How She Runs (The Chronicles of Izzy #1)(36)
By the time we got back it was almost dark and we decided to have a bonfire for dinner. I went into the house and dumped my bag, thankful that my feet did not feel destroyed like the last time. I headed into the kitchen and gathered up all of the stuff we might need for the hotdogs and s’mores, then went out to find the guys.
“Do you think that is enough to feed us?" Ian asked, smiling down at me. His rainbow tie-dyed bandana made it difficult to take anything he said seriously.
I looked down at the two packs of hotdogs in my hands and back up to Ian.
“Well, it ought to be. Just because you live practically forever doesn’t mean you should overeat," I said as I set everything down. Suddenly I was lifted in the air and tossed over Ian’s shoulder as he ran me around, promising to drop me on my head if I didn’t apologize. Finally I relented.
“Fine,” I said between giggles. “I give, just put me down you brute. How many more hotdogs do you think you need?”
He looked at Kennan and back at me and they simultaneously said, “Grab another pack."
I headed back into the cabin to grab some more hotdogs. On the way out, I overheard them talking about me so I paused. Okay, I know eavesdropping is horrible, but so is talking about someone when they aren’t there. I listened in as I heard Ian begin to speak.
“How is she doing, Kennan? Seriously. I came up here because her mom told the Council she would be gone soon. Her mom was really worried about what is ahead for her. What happened last night, man?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t ever seen her like this. She is usually like sunshine, bright and cheery. Something has shifted in her though. Her mom said goodbye to her last night. So that means she is gone. I don’t know, man. It seems like in place of her sun there is anger now. I just hope she doesn’t let it consume her," Kennan said with a sigh before turning in my direction. “We know you are there nosey, so you might as well come out.”
So busted. I had forgotten about the tracking thing he could do. So, I sucked it up and went out to face my accusers.
“What? I was just minding my own business and bringing out more food when I heard ya’ll talking about me. Of course I want to know what is being said. I mean, don’t act like ya’ll wouldn’t do the same," I said, trying to add a little bluster and just sounding guilty instead.
“Riiiiiigggghhht," Ian said, not buying what I was selling.
“Fine, okay, I got busted. But seriously, I am fine guys. I am mad as hell and ready to kick some evil arse, but I am fine. Losing her sucks, but you need to remember I did not even know she was still alive until like a week ago. I had already dealt with the whole dead mom thing. Quite honestly, a person’s heart can only fracture so many times before it is completely broken. So I don’t have much left to give in the grief department. Instead, I can move forward and work on my future. If I cave now then I will never get back up. So, just stop giving me looks like I am breakable. The both of you," I said with some force, before putting the hotdogs in the pile.
“Easy there, Red. Remember, I am supposed to be taking care of you, so just chill out," Kennan said before walking up to me and throwing his arm over my shoulder. “I know you are made of strong stuff. I just don’t want you to be consumed by the anger.”
I looked up at him and realized he was right. While the anger felt good and it allowed me to pull myself out of the grief just that morning, I couldn’t allow it to drag me under. It would be just as destructive as my grief if I allowed it to be. Like my mom always said, it was all about choices. I could choose to focus on the loss or I could focus on the memories left behind by both of my parents. I chose the memories, but I allowed some of the anger to linger. I was more than a little pissed off at the people that had taken them from me. That was not going to go away anytime soon.
“How about I just direct my anger in their direction? See, that seems like a healthy outlet right?" I smiled at both of them, hoping that I sounded convincing. Somehow I don’t think either one of them was buying it.
“Whatever, I am famished. Let’s cook some dogs!" Ian said, once again changing the subject.
“Sounds like a plan man," Kennan said as he headed toward the fire and skewered a hotdog on a stick.
We sat around the fire, cooking the hotdogs and eating in relative silence. Relative was the term of choice where Ian was concerned. I was pretty sure he felt physical pain if he did not talk every few seconds. He would totally lose the quiet mouse game. I ate one hotdog and between the other two guys the three packs disappeared. I did not know whether to be disgusted or impressed. We sat there, digesting for a while before Ian jumped to his feet.
“I challenge you to a dual of swords, good sir," he said with a mock British gentlemen’s accent.
“I accept your challenge. What shall we wager my good man?" Kennan asked in an equally horrible accent.
“I wager the couch. If I win, I get to sleep on the couch and you must retreat to the floor like the dog you are," Ian said with a flourish.
“Aye, we have a gentlemen’s accord. On with the dual. Izzy shall be an impartial observer. Although I must warn you, I imagine she will be more on my side than yours," Kennan said as he looked toward me.
I was afraid they would pull out real swords at any moment. Instead, they picked up two of the sticks we had used for cooking the hotdogs. They took up what I imagined was a sword fighting stance.