See How She Awakens (The Chronicles of Izzy #4)(56)

I pray in time, you will find a way to reconcile your disdain for me, to forgive what I’ve done. The secrets I have kept, the half-truths I have uttered, I have done it all with only one purpose. To protect you.

Someday.

Aberto



My mind swirled as the words sank in. Aberto, so full of secrets had been keeping one very huge one. Yes, I’d known he loved me. Sure, I knew he had been keeping things from me, but I’d had no clue what that meant for him. The burden he’d carried, all to keep me as safe as he knew how. He had never once tried to stop me from throwing myself into the fray. I’d wondered how he could say he loved me, and still let me put myself at risk.

He’d given me something no one else in this world, or the next, would ever have. He’d given me the truth, a rare glance into his mind. He’d always been there, to catch me when I fell, or to push me when I wanted to stop. My heart began to race.

What did this letter mean? Is this why he’d been gone so much? Did he really think I would blame him for the choices I’d made?

“Izzy.” Aberto’s voice settled over me, a welcome sound.

“Where have you been?” I couldn’t bring myself to face him yet, to look at the most secretive being I’d ever known. He’d bore his soul to me, and I was terrified.

“Look at me.” His voice was a mixture of demand and plea.

Slowly, I turned to face him. He stood before me in all his gorgeous glory. I wasn’t ready for this, for us. I couldn’t give him what he longed for, and it pained me.

“I can’t be what you want me to be. Not now.” I couldn’t look him in the eyes. The pain of the admission sunk deep within me.

“Izzy, we are eternal. I have walked this earth for thousands of years waiting to find someone, or something, that might move me. You have awakened something within me that has been dormant for far too long. I am a patient man. I do not expect you to move on from this loss so suddenly. You are not made of such fickle stuff. In truth, I would not love you as I do if you were so easily changed.” Aberto closed the distance between us, lifting his hand to my chin, gently raising my face so he could look into my eyes. “Izzy, I need to know. Can you forgive me?”

“You aren’t responsible for everything that has happened to me, Aberto. The darkness is, and the heavens for setting up such impossible barriers. I was angry at you for keeping the truth of Kennan’s death from me, and yes, you infuriate me with your secrecy, but you don’t need my forgiveness for anything. I know you did what you thought was right, and for that I can’t blame you.” Tears began to fill my eyes as the next words sat heavy in my throat. “I’m not ready yet, and that is the truth, but selfishly, I don’t want to lose you. Your absence these past few days has left me adrift. I need you, and I know it isn’t fair to ask, but I must.”

“Whatever it may be, ask and it is yours.” Aberto lifted his hand to my cheek, the warmth of his palm seeping into me to warm my soul.

“I don’t know what the coming days will hold, and I’m not even sure what I’ve become, but I do know one thing. I don’t want to do this without you. Please don’t disappear on me.” His thumb brushed away a tear as he slowly leaned forward.

His forehead pressed against mine, I could feel him inhale deeply. It would be so easy to tip my face, to invite him in, but it wouldn’t be fair. Not to either of us.

“I am yours. Not just today, but all of the days. Even should you wish me away, I do not think I could truly bear to leave.”

“Where have you been these past days?” I couldn’t stop the stupid tears from falling. I’d been so afraid he was going to leave me. That because I couldn’t give him all he wanted from me, he wouldn’t be able to bear being close. I’d been so very wrong.

“I have been here, watching you. Just beyond, in the dreaming.”

“Creeper.” A half laugh, half cry came out as Aberto pulled me close. His arms wrapped around me, and I knew I didn’t have to face the future alone. For the first time, eternity didn’t feel so scary.





Days flew by and with each one, I became more and more restless. I knew I couldn’t remain at the Council headquarters. There were too many memories haunting the halls. Molly had settled into her position and was overwhelmed by the ideas pouring in.

“Izzy?” Molly’s voice startled me as I paced around the gardens. Something I’d been doing to pass the time.

“Yeah?”

“You are pacing around like a caged lion. Are you alright?” The concern in Molly’s voice saddened me. I didn’t want to abandon her, but staying here was driving me slowly insane.

“Molly, I can’t stay here much longer. If you really need me, I will, but I’m kind of losing it. There are just too many memories here. Good and bad. I don’t think I will be able to keep it together if I don’t leave soon.”

“Izzy, you’ve done more for our world than anyone had any right to ask. Why don’t you worry about taking care of yourself for a while?” Molly walked to the bench where I’d planted myself.

“I’m not sure if I know how to do that, either.” A wry laugh escaped me before I could tamp it down.

“Well, practice makes perfect,” Molly said with a smile.