See How She Awakens (The Chronicles of Izzy #4)(52)
“Are you sure you want to do that? You are just now getting to where you feel anywhere close to normal. The last few days have been a whirlwind of business, and not a bit of that time was spent focusing on you getting your feet back under you.” Molly’s concern seeped into my soul. I knew, without a doubt, she could read the turmoil I’d been under.
Every day things were changing. The world was pushing forward, and I was reticent to move with it. I knew the moment I let go and took that first step into my future, everything would shift. It was unstoppable, like the changing of night to day. Yet somehow, I was scared. For the first time in the past few years I was left to face the future without a road map. Granted, the one I’d been given up to this point barely had the main attractions marked out, but now, now it was all up to me. My destiny, my life—if you could call it that—was my own. My future, the unknown, terrified me.
“Izzy?” Molly’s voice jogged me from my downward spiral.
“Yeah, I’m sure,” I paused, trying to regain my composure. “Molly, things are about to change.”
“I know. Leader of the entirety of the Seers and Guardians. I seriously don’t know if I am up to this.” Molly’s eyes fell to her feet. “I’m half-human after all. Not to mention the whole being raised by a bunch of corrupt asshats. What if they don’t trust me?”
“The fact you are half-human means you have more of a vested interest in what happens to this world. You have more of a stake in it than the rest of them do. You, the daughter of both worlds, will do great things. I have faith in you, Molly. And if they don’t trust you, I will smite them.” I honestly had no intention of smiting anyone, but the smile that played across Molly’s face was exactly what I wanted.
“Can you send in Ian? I need to see if he is really up for this.” Molly turned to brace herself on the desk as I made my way out the door in search of Ian. Of course, I didn’t have to look far. He was lurking just beyond the heavy wooden barrier.
“She needs a pep-talk. Remind her of how fantastic she is, would you? She seems to be forgetting.” I nudged Ian with my elbow as I walked past, heading aimlessly down the hall.
“I’ve got her,” Ian said, his words fading as he entered the office.
I wasn’t sure what he would tell her, but I knew she would feel better having him close. Watching the two of them had been both a blessing and a curse the past few days. The way they moved around one another, always staying just within reach. The kisses, the private glances, all brought memories of Kennan rushing back. Not for one second did I begrudge them their hard-won happiness, but I would have to leave soon. The constant reminder of what I no longer had cut me deep, and though I no longer drowned in my grief, the void where Kennan had once been still remained.
“Izzy?” Mona’s voice startled me, causing me to lose my footing. As I reached out to brace myself, Aberto appeared, stopping my rapid decent.
“Where’d you come from?” I asked, even more surprised by his sudden appearance than I had been from my aunt’s voice.
“Places,” he replied. Always the non-answer answers with this one.
“Ahem.” My aunt cleared her voice, drawing my attention back to her.
“Sorry. What’s up Mona?”
“May I speak with you for a moment, Izzy?” She nodded her head toward the room she’d set up as a sort of a sanctuary for herself.
“Of course.” I followed her in, wondering if Aberto would follow. In typical fashion, he disappeared. He’d been doing that a lot the past few days. Never answering where he’d gone off to. At first he’d been reluctant to leave my side, but then, more and more, he seemed to be fading away. Part of me was grateful for the space, but the other part yearned to be near him.
“When the ceremony is over today, I need you to come back to my chambers with me. I have something to give you.” My aunt’s eyes filled with sadness before she abruptly turned away.
“Are you okay?” Confusion swept over me as I tried to make sense of the sudden crack in her demeanor.
“No, I’m not.” Tears caused her voice to come out choked. “I feel like I’ve failed you somehow, like I should’ve done more. Your mother was right, it wasn’t fair. Everything you’ve done, you’ve done to help others. Selflessly, you threw yourself into this mess, and the heavens return the favor by shunning you? I don’t understand how that is fair.”
A laugh broke from my chest, unabated by my good sense. “It’s not fair, Mona. It sucks. But the truth of it is, I wouldn’t take back a second of it. Well, if I could find a way to keep Kennan alive, I would do that, but the rest of it, I can live with. I made every choice that led me to here. I have no one to blame for my fate but myself. Besides, there are far worse things that could’ve happened to me. Floating in the chasm forever, being taken over by the darkness, being the reason the world went up in flames, you know stuff like that.”
“Izzy, I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you more. To help you figure everything out, to guide you.” Mona rushed toward me, enveloping me in her arms. Typically, she wasn’t an overtly affectionate person, but the warmth of her embrace reminded me of my mother. It was safe.
“We all had our roles to play. Yours was to have a place for me when I needed it the most. You were there to catch me when I didn’t even know I needed to be caught.” I breathed in the scent of her, trying to store the moment in my memory. This bright light after a seemingly endless darkness.