Resolution (Saviour #2)(17)
“We all love you chick and we want to see you happy. You are a beautiful, hot, sexy, mamma. Any man of any age would want you. You are funny, talented, kind and intelligent. Although, sometimes, also very stupid. You obviously love him. Okay, so he f*cked up, but he didn’t actually do anything wrong, it was the blonde slut doing all the running, while he sat and got drunk and swore his undying love for you by all accounts. So f*ck everything and everyone else and just be with him.”
It's no good trying to blink away the tears now. They are pouring down my cheeks and down the cheeks of all of us around the table.
“He truly loves you Loz. I've never seen him like this and neither have his family. Just go back to him and do what Jem says. Just love each other and see where it goes?” Jo looks me right in the eye as she speaks.
Lulu not to miss an opportunity to voice her opinion adds. “Yeah and all that sex, that hot sex and that body. Fuck. There's nothing I wouldn't let that man do to me. I'd even let Shannon watch. He's just so...”
“Lu...really, do you mind? This is my man you’re talking about. I don't want visions of you f*cking him while your husband watches in my head thank you. I have enough real life events running through my mind as it is.”
“Sorry, sorry Lauren, but you need to know. If you don't want him. There's plenty out there that do, I mean, how many women our age get the chance to be with a man like that? Seriously.”
“Yes Lorraine. I'm well f*cking aware of how lucky I am and more than aware of how many other women want him. I don't need to be adding you to the list of who I have to assassinate do I? Do I?”
She shrugs, “Well, if you don't go back to him. Who knows, I could be tempted.”
“Lu! I will kill you. Mark my words babe. At the very least you will be wheelchair bound for the rest of your days and fed through a tube.”
“Yes Lauren, we get it. Shut up Lu.”
Jo stands from the table, “Right. Enough wine ladies, we need to save ourselves for tomorrow night. We need to show Loza’s future in laws how to party. I'm going to bed. See you all tomorrow.”
She kisses us all and heads off to bed. Jem and Lulu say their goodbyes and leave. I tidy up and load the dishwasher. Delaying going to bed.
I eventually head off to my lonely, temporary room and pull on a pair of sleep shorts and a vest and climb into the cold, empty bed, putting on my glasses to check my phone as I do. Two text messages from Gabe. They both contain links. The first is The Style Council – ‘You’re The Best Thing’. The second is The Pretenders. ‘I go to sleep’. The song he sang in my ear the very first night we met. I have that song on my playlist, so I set it to repeat and think I finally nod off after about the fifth play. Happy and content with my decision to go back to Gabe on Saturday.
CHAPTER 5
I wake bright and early Friday and only partially stretch my arm and leg across the bed before I remember that he's not there. My heart does its usual plummet to my belly and my belly in turn backflips and sinks to my toes. I could make this so easy. I could put an end to our misery and just go back to him today. But I'm actually looking forward to tonight, especially as Sam and Stella are joining us. I miss him with every part of me and I am so f*cking horny, I want him in me so badly but I refuse to go running back until I've had my girls night out.
I look around for my phone for some stimulation. I'm sure I have something sexy to read on my Kindle app that will help things along. I must have switched my music off sometime during the night as my phone is sitting on the bedside table with no sound coming from it. I reach out for it and notice I have twelve, yes TWELVE text messages from Gabe. I open the first.
I love you. I want you. I miss you. I need you back baby. I hate that ur not here in the nite or when I wake up. We only work together and I still think you should marry me, plz, marry me? x
The link is ‘I Won’t Give Up’ Jason Mraz.
The next says exactly the same, the link is Nomad ‘I Wanna Give You Devotion’.
And it goes on, the same message every time but with a different link:
John Lennon ‘Woman’;
Aretha Franklin ‘Until You Come Back To Me’;
The Fray ‘You Found Me’;
Aerosmith ‘Don’t Wanna Miss A thing’;
Florence And The Machine ‘You've Got The Love’;
The Kings Of Leon ‘Sex On Fire’;
Adele ‘Lovesong’;
Sinead O’Conner ‘Nothing Compares To You’;
David Guetta ‘When Love Takes Over’; and
Blue ‘Sorry Seems to Be The Hardest Word’.
Every link plays a video with the lyrics displayed, just to be sure that I get the message, and I do, he loves me and he’s sorry, I get it, but I’m still not going back till Saturday. If we are going to have any future together, I have to prove to myself that we are equal in this; I need this moment of power over him and if I’m totally honest about it, I am sort of enjoying it, what woman doesn’t liked to be wooed, there’s not enough wooing in this world, personally I think there should be an international day of wooing, say around September or October time, when there’s not a lot else going on.
I look at the timing of the messages. He has been sending them all night. From midnight to eight fifteen this morning.