Resolution (Saviour #2)(14)

“Wow. That. Is. Beautiful!!!”

Jo is standing in the doorway looking at Gabe’s back. He turns and looks at me. Naked from the waist up and my eyes wander over his beautiful body. I just can’t stop myself, I’m a perv, and he’s gorgeous, so shoot me! He raises his eyebrows slightly and I swear I see his mouth twitch slightly at the corner. Did I just let out a little moan? Bastard, he knows the affect he has on me.

I feel his eyes burning into me as he says, “It's for Lauren. It's all for Lauren, to let her know exactly what she means to me.”

“Shit. Couldn't you have just sent her a card, a trip to a Hallmark store would have been less painful darl? What does the writing say? What language is it?”

“It's ancient Sanskrit. It says: Your Protector. My Saviour.”

I close my eyes. I think I might actually pass out. And I don't even know why.

“That's quite beautiful Gabe but think about just sending a card next time. I'm going out. I have a date.”

Without thinking twice about it, I say to Jo, “Show Gabe out as you go.”

There is absolute silence as they both stare at me. Gabe starts to shake his head.

“Please Lauren, don't do this, I love you, we need to talk.”

“I have nothing to say Gabe, please go, please just go and leave me alone. Jo, can you show him out.”

I jump as he roars at me, “Fuuuuuuck! What do I have to do? What can I say to prove to you what you mean to me? Fuck, f*ck, f*ck Lauren. You are doing my f*cking head in! I tell you all the time how I feel, I tell you the best I can and I try and show you all the time. I f*cking love, want, need you, like nothing I ever thought possible. Without you... There is... I am nothing, I can’t go back to that, not now that I know how it can be. We have to be together, you don’t want this, not really, I know you don’t, I f*cked up I know that but we are bigger than all of this bullshit. But we need to be together to survive, we can’t be apart, we don’t work apart. Please listen to me, please tell me what I need to do to make this better, to make it right?”

It's my turn to roar now, “What can you do? What can you say Gabe? Well let me f*cking see. What you can do is NOT go out and get f*cking blind and come home with some blonde troll in tow. What you CAN say is: NO Lauren, I most definitely didn't f*ck her… or anyone else! That's what you CAN do or say Gabe. That and only that. Now please get the f*ck out and stay away from me please. Please. My heart just can't take anymore. Please just go.”

My voice falters on the very last plea, I don’t cry tears but my voice ends on a sob, I look across at Jo – pleadingly, but she's already worked out that I need him gone.

“Go Gabe, now please.”

“Jo.... No, please, we need to talk about this... Go out on your date, leave us here we'll be right.” I shake my head at Jo, I can’t be alone with him, I don’t trust myself. I will cave, I know I will.

“Please Gabe; I don't want any trouble. Just go.” Jo orders him calmly.

He looks at me; his eyes are glistening with tears. Both his hands are pulling at his own hair. He has no shirt on, just jeans and bare feet. I can see the muscles in his arms, chest and abs all clench and tighten as he pulls at his hair. And I fight with myself not to reach out to him.

“I love you Lauren. I would leave my daughter fatherless and die for you. Never forget that.” That kills me, if it were possible for my heart to break any more today than that just did it. He has tears on his cheeks and I know he is as broken as I am, he walks towards the door without saying another word. Jo follows him as I slowly sink to my knees.

Before I hit the floor I hear a smash and Jo shouting, and then calling my name. As I get outside, Gabe is punching the passenger window of his Ute. He punches again and again, until it finally smashes. He runs at the car door and kicks it with the flat of his bare feet. It caves in on impact. He can't reach the windscreen so he moves around to the driver’s door and punches that. It takes three attempts before it breaks and there is blood running down his arm from his knuckles.

“Gabe – what the f*ck? Stop!” I scream at him.

He kicks the door and the tyres before turning and raising his arms and faces up to the sky, shouting:, “Fuuuuuuuuck!!!” At the top if his lungs.

He drops down to his knees and pulls at his own hair with both of his hands. I drop to the floor where I'm standing next to Jo in her doorway.

There's total silence except for the sound of all three of us sobbing. Eventually Jo puts her hand on my shoulder and says, “Go to him.”

I stand and look at her, shaking my head, “I can’t, I have nothing left to give him right now.”

“Jesus Lauren, you two are unbelievable.”

I walk back into the house and head for the shower in Jo's guest room. I need to wash the past few days events away and I need to sleep.





CHAPTER 4


I wake to the sound of laughter. I reach across the bed for Gabe. He must be up already, it's the only time I don't wake up with him wrapped around me. I smile just a little and squeeze my legs together as I get that usual ache down there, just from thinking about him, it takes me a few seconds before cold, harsh reality hits me and my heart breaks once again. I make a dash for the en suite toilet and hurl the very few contents of my stomach. How could he? I lean my back against the wall and pull my knees up. I'm back at Jo's, in her guest room, once again homeless, because Gabe let me down. It's still dark so it must only be a few hours since I last saw him. And I'm missing him so much I let out a sob just thinking about it. I sit on the toilet floor and cry and as I do I realise. It doesn't do anything to make me feel better at all, I’ve shed so many tears and none of them have made me feel any better, so I take some loo roll to wipe my nose and head back to bed. I check my phone. It's 11.20. It is only hours since I've seen him but it feels so much longer. I have a dozen missed calls from Zac, Cooper and Sam And a dozen more from Gabe, as well as text messages from all of them and Jemma. Jem’s is just a general 'How you doing? Don't forget we are going out Friday' message. Jo's is just to check up on me too, but also to let me know she has bought her date back and to ignore any strange sounds.