Raging Heart On (Lucas Brothers #2)(70)

“They don’t know, sweetheart.”

“How do you?”

“I’m a cop.”

“But that’s been forever ago. Oh God, you can’t tell White!”

“Relax, Kayla,” Black says, pulling me back down to my chair. He holds my hand tightly and I have to fight to hold his eyes with mine. I don’t want to be weak. I haven’t been weak in a long time. “I’m not going to tell anyone. Though, if you want to know what I think, I think you should tell White.”

“No.”

“Kayla—”

“He doesn’t need to know. No one does. It’s over. It’s been over a long time, Black. How did you even find out?”

“I found your file when we were archiving a bunch of shit when I first started. I’ve known for a long time, Kayla.”

“Well, you can just forget about it. It doesn’t matter anymore. It never did.”

“It does matter. White would want to know.”

“Why? He can’t change anything. Not now. It’s water under the bridge. I’m not that little girl anymore.”

“No, you’re not. You’re a beautiful woman, Kayla. A woman a man would be proud to have by his side. You’re fierce, you’re loyal, and you’re gorgeous…”

“I’m not, but…”

“You are, darlin’, and your beauty goes all the way through. You’re the only one who has never realized that,” Black says, letting his hand move to my chin, his finger brushing against the skin in a move that reminds me a lot of his brother. Black’s not looking at me with need, lust, or love, however. He’s looking at me with the one look on his face that I despise. The one look that makes me sick to my stomach and reminds me of a time when I felt alone and lost. He’s looking at me with pity.

“What the f*ck is going on?” I jerk my head up to look at White. I don’t understand the look on his face. It scares me. Black must feel the same because instead of trying to add to White’s anger—because he is angry—he stands up, putting his body in front of mine.

“Easy, brother. I was just having a talk with Kayla.”

“Yeah, I could tell.” White spews the words out and there is more than anger in them. They feel… hateful.

I stand up to go to him. I don’t know what’s happening, but I need it to stop. I need White to be okay. I need us to be okay.

“White Hall, I don’t know what has got you upset, but let’s not do anything to make things worse here,” Black says and the trepidation in his voice worries me even more.

“You don’t know what the f*ck you are talking about. This doesn’t concern you, so just get the f*ck out of my way.”

“White…”

“How long were you going to keep lying to me, Kayla?” White growls, and I move around Black to try and look at him. My skin breaks out in a cool sweat, and I feel panic swamp me. Black does his best to block me, and I know he’s trying to protect me. I’m even kind of glad, but I have to fix this. I have to fix whatever is going on.

“Let me through, Black,” I whisper, my voice sounding hoarse and strange to my own ears.

“Yeah, let her through, Black, so she can lie to me some more.”

“Lie to you, White? I don’t know what’s going on, but if you—”

“You don’t know what’s going on? That’s rich, Kayla, because here I was thinking I was the one who didn’t know what the f*ck was going on!”

“What—?”

“I have a ‘what’ for you, Kayla. What the f*ck are these?” he yells, tossing a container at me. A container of my birth control pills.





CHAPTER 54


WHITE




I watch as Kayla catches the container of birth control pills. She looks down at them and her hands are trembling. I want to hear her tell me that I’m wrong, that’s she’s not been lying to me. I need to hear her deny that she’s been letting me think we’re trying for a baby while doing everything in her power to prevent a pregnancy. I need to hear it, but as she grips the pills in her hand and slowly sits down, refusing to look at me, hope of that fades.

“Imagine my surprise, when I accidentally knocked over the trash in the bathroom and found these buried at the bottom of it. I guess you were trying to hide them, right?”

“It’s not what you are thinking, White. Please, you have to believe me.”

That’s definitely not a denial, and hope dies in that moment. Anger was there before, but now it explodes.

“What I think is the woman I thought I could trust over anyone has been lying to me this whole f*cking time!”

“It’s not like that,” she cries, standing up and trying to come to me, but I back away. I can’t touch her now. I don’t want to be near her right now.

“What was the point, Kayla? What was the f*cking point? Was it all just a f*cking lie? A game for you? Were you playing me?”

“No, of course not! How could you think that? You know me, White. You know me more than anyone!”

“I don’t know you at all. The woman I thought I knew would have never lied to me! Every f*cking time you started your period, I’d feel bad because I failed at giving you the one thing you wanted the most. Jesus Christ, you let me go to that damn clinic to get checked out thinking I wasn’t capable of getting you pregnant!”