Raging Heart On (Lucas Brothers #2)(66)

And that’s the thing. I wanted to give Kayla a baby before. Slowly, the idea settled inside of me and I wanted to tie her to me with a child—my child. Today after watching her hold Violet, seeing the child wrap its little hand around Kayla’s finger and watching as my woman coos at her, there’s this hunger inside of me, this need that I’ve never had before. Kayla will have my child growing inside of her. The doctors have all assured us there’s nothing preventing that and I won’t stop until it happens. If there was ever a woman meant to be surrounded by babies, it’s Kayla.

I’m holding William and he picks now to cry out. His sister must be very in tune to him because she joins him. “I think they’re hungry again already,” Gray says.

“You just want to see me breastfeed again,” CC jokes tiredly. She’s much calmer and definitely sweeter, now that the babies are here. She’s beautiful, but you can tell she’s worn out too, which is our cue to leave the babies and new parents alone.

“Guilty as charged,” Gray laughs easily, hugging his woman closer. I walk around CC’s bed. Gray is lying on a small portion of it just to hold CC in his arms. It’s good to see my brother so happy. Of all of them, besides Cyan for obvious reasons, I never thought Gray would settle down. He was almost as set against it as I was. I hand William off to him.

“I think it’s time Kayla and I get out of here and let you two have some time alone,” I tell Gray, but I’m looking over his shoulder at Kayla, who is giving a fussy Violet back to her mom. I guess it just takes the right woman to make a man want to settle down. Now, I can’t imagine anything better in life than having Kayla with me through every minute I’m on this Earth and whatever comes after.

“You don’t have to run off,” CC protests.

“We do. You need your rest and you’ve had all the Lucas clan here driving you nuts. We’ll come see you guys tomorrow,” Kayla tells her as I walk around to her. She immediately slips her hand into mine. It’s a simple move, but damn it feels good.

“Thanks for coming by,” Gray adds. We say our final goodbyes and head out of the room. Mom and all of the others had left already. We only stayed so long because Blue and Black had been hogging the babies. They felt it was their duty since they were the reigning twins of the Lucas family to be doting uncles. I just think they were being greedy bastards.

“Weren’t they the most precious things you ever saw? I swear Violet is going to look just like her Mama. William looks completely different. Strange, since they’re twins and all.”

“Buttercup, they’re only fraternal twins,” I laugh, knowing she gets that especially since they’re not even the same gender.

“I know, but usually twins have much more similar characteristics. I always hoped someday I’d have twins, but then you see all these women and they have these beautiful children that all look just alike and you have to wonder how on Earth they manage to tell them apart.”

I can’t help but smile at her words. We’re down the hall almost to the waiting area and elevators when I have to stop her. I tug on her hand so she falls back into me slightly. She looks up at me with a soft gasp. My free hand finds its way into her hair, much like it always does, as I use my thumb to stroke against the side of her face.

“There’s one thing I know beyond a shadow of a doubt,” I whisper, my lips close to hers.

“What’s that?” she murmurs, her breath feathering against my skin.

“The kind of mom you will be, Buttercup. You would absolutely never have any problem telling your children apart. You will know what each cry means. You will even know what each smile means.”

“But…”

“It won’t matter if you have one child or ten at the same time. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, you will know everything about each child,” I tell her truthfully. I watch as her lips slowly move into a full smile. Her small giggle escapes and the sound dives down inside of me somehow and I’m pretty damn sure that from this moment on, I will always be able to hear that laugh in my head when I think of Kayla. A laugh full of happiness and love. I know it’s love because I see it shining in her eyes.

“If I have ten kids at one time, I won’t even know my own name. Did you see how worn out CC was from having just two?”

“You might have a point,” I grin. “I might have exaggerated a bit to get my point across.”

“I love you, White,” she whispers, and those damn words settle inside of me with the force of an explosion. “I love you so much.”

I’m a man and I think by design alone we’re not made to handle emotion—at least, not well. When Kayla gives me those words, her eyes so earnest and the truth of them beaming from everything she is, there’s a moment where I can’t breathe. I’m choking on things I should say. Things I need to say. I want to give her these flowery words, these sonnets and poems and a million other things a woman like Kayla deserves. That’s not who I am, however. That becomes even more evident when all I can do is let out a growl like a caveman, move my hold from the side of her face to her neck, and take her lips.

My brain is misfiring. All I can hear over and over is one word: mine. It doesn’t matter that we’re in a crowded hospital waiting room. It doesn’t matter that it’s late and a minute ago I was just looking forward to getting Kayla home and holding her while we slept. Nothing matters except this overwhelming need inside of me to make sure she knows that she is in fact mine.