Raging Heart On (Lucas Brothers #2)(63)

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Sweetheart, you’ve spent half our relationship justifying in your mind why I’m sleeping with you and how I feel about you.”

“I haven’t said—”

“You don’t have to. It’s there in every reaction you have, in the way you are with me, everything.”

“Well, if it annoys you, maybe—”

“Stop it, Kayla.”

“What? I’m just saying that if—”

“You annoy me. You infuriate me. You also make me laugh. You make me happy. You make a bad day better. You give me purpose. You give me peace and you also—”

“White,” she whispers, her eyes overly bright.

“You also love me.”

“I…”

“And that’s great. In fact, it’s f*cking awesome.”

“It is?” she asks, her voice strained, her face pale.

“It is. Because I love you.”

“White, you don’t have to say anything. I know you love me. We’ve been friends all of our lives.”

“Not as a friend, Kayla. Though I do love you like that too.”

“You love me,” she whispers, and she doesn’t say it like a question. Tears are slowly streaming from her eyes. I move into her, trying to catch them before they fall, but it’s useless.

“I love you,” I reassure her, close to panic. I never imagined that the first time I told a woman I loved her, she’d be crying.

“You love me,” she repeats.

“That’s not supposed to make you cry.”

“Why?” she asks, crying harder.

“Why what?” I respond, thoroughly confused.

“Why do you love me?”

“Sweetheart, what do you think we’ve been doing here?”

“Here?”

“Together.”

“I don’t know!” she cries like she’s completely lost. My heart squeezes, and by that, I mean I can physically feel the pain.

“You don’t know?” I’m not sure how to respond to that.

“I just figured I’d enjoy the ride however long it lasted.”

“However long it lasted? Are you nuts?”

“You agreed to this to help me get a child. You don’t even want kids. We’ve been friends all of our lives, but I’m not delusional.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“I’m not the kind of girl you normally go for, White.”

“What do you mean, kind?”

“Exactly that. I can’t hold a candle to the women you usually date. I knew going in that this was just temporary.”

“Wait. Hold up. Why in the f*ck would you even compare yourself to anyone, Kayla? Jesus Fucking Christ! Don’t you get it?”

“Get what?”

“You aren’t like those other women. Fuck, I’ve never given my heart to anyone before.”

“But…”

“Sweetheart, you’re beautiful. You’re so gorgeous, you take my breath away. From the color of your hair, to your eyes, the way your smile lights up an entire room, all the way to how your body curves and feels against me, every single bit of it turns me on more than I’ve ever been turned on in my life.”

“You don’t have to say that. I know that I’m fat. I don’t have any delusions about what stares back at me in the mirror.”

“Then maybe you need a new f*cking mirror. Jesus, Kayla. Who did this shit to you? Who made you feel as if you didn’t measure up? Who in the hell convinced you that the woman I’m looking at isn’t the most beautiful person in the world? ‘Cause I’ve got to tell you, baby, you are. You take my breath away. I’m not telling you that for any other reason than it is one hundred percent the truth. I love you.”

“White…”

“This can’t work if you don’t start believing in what we have, Kayla. I can fight, sweetheart. For you, I will fight until I don’t have breath in my body any longer. I’ll do it, because what I’ve had with you these past months is a million times better than anything I’ve ever experienced, or expected. But I can’t fight alone. I can’t knock out your demons, Kayla. Especially if I don’t know what they are or who put them there.”

“You love me,” she whispers.

“So much, it hurts.”

“I’m scared, White.”

“There’s no need to be, sweetheart. I’m right here and I have no intention of ever leaving.”





CHAPTER 48


KAYLA




He’s completely serious. It’s there in his eyes, in the way he’s holding himself, and even though he’s blurry from the tears in my eyes, I can tell that. In my head I just keep hearing over and over: my fiancée.

I’ve spent so long thinking this was just temporary, that soon I’d wake up and White will have realized he made a mistake and everything would just blow up. I have been preparing myself for it, even preparing to lose White completely. Never in a million years would I have thought I’d be standing before the man I’ve always loved and hearing him tell me that he loves me. That he wants me… forever.