Quintessentially Q (Monsters in the Dark #2)(96)

I squeezed my eyes, trying to understand what the f*ck I was doing here.

“Q…”

Her soft voice wrapped around my heart and I struck.

I didn’t mean to. I didn’t give my hand permission to strike her cheek. It just happened. The force of her power over me made the monster f*cking crazy. Denied for so long, it’d done what I was terrified of happening all along. It took away my control—made me hit her.

The soft sting in my palm and the resonating noise of connecting with Tess’s cheek was pure heaven. I’d missed it for far too long. I opened my eyes, looking at the red handprint on her skin. My cock instantly hardened.

The first f*cking erection I’d had since I found Tess so ruined and weak.

Her eyes popped wide as she touched her cheek with gentle fingertips.

I waited, licking my lips—waiting for her crystal tears that tasted so sweet, but her eyes remained dry. No salt, no amazement, or accusation.

“I know you’re trying to get an emotion out of me, Q. But…it won’t work.” She broke eye contact. “I’ve tried. I hate what I’m doing to you. I loved you and can’t stand to be the reason for your pain, but they made me—” She swallowed. “My thoughts aren’t safe anymore. I can’t be myself because everything is wrapped up in such evil.” She looked up. “I’m truly sorry but you have to let me go.”

The alcohol rolled in my stomach and I lost it completely. I’m not proud of what I became. I never wanted to be so out of control, but I lost all elements of the man and showed her just how much the beast f*cking wanted her.

I ripped the sheets off and shoved her into the middle of the bed. The T-shirt rode up, showing her flat belly, and I had to bite her. Had to mar that slightly bruised flesh.

With a snarl, I buried my mouth against her stomach. She flinched as I bit hard. I didn’t break the skin, but only because some miracle intervened.

I spread my entire weight over her, smothering her into the mattress. Eyes to eyes, mouth to mouth, hips to hips.

I thrust hard against her, groaning at how good my hard cock felt. It’d been too long. Way too long since I’d had this woman…since I’d wanted this woman. “Feel that, Tess. That’s for you. I want you. So. Fucking. Much. Please come back to me. You will come back to me.” I smashed my mouth against hers. Her taste intoxicated me more than any alcohol.

I forced her lips open, demanding she tongue me back. She opened, letting me kiss her, but she didn’t return my affection. It was like kissing a corpse.

Please. Fucking please, come back to me.

Slowing down, I kissed her with all the unhappiness and loss inside. Showing just how much I needed the strong fiery woman who didn’t take my shit but let me hurt her anyway.

I needed her so much.

I poured my heart into her…

Nothing.

My gut twisted and I pulled away, looking deep into her eyes. There were no words to describe the vacant, empty woman who stared back. No signs of lust or fear or turmoil.

Zero. Zilch. Gone.

Grabbing her shoulders, I shook her. “Wake up, esclave. Come out of your f*cking bunker and face me. You don’t have to shut down anymore.”

When she didn’t say anything, I yelled right in her face. “This isn’t just my fault, you know. You left the tracker in. You forgot to remove it. You should’ve told me! You should’ve made sure only I had access to you.”

I sat up, dragging her upright to shake her with every word. “You let me down. You ruined everything. Goddammit, Tess. Do something!”

A flicker of something sparked in her eyes before it was gone again, killed by the life-sucking void inside her.

“I’ll f*ck you. I’ll make you come back to me. Is that what you want?” I grabbed her uninjured hand and placed it around my cock.

It leapt in her grip, hot and angry; wanting so f*cking much to be inside her. “I only get hard if you fight me, Tess. So f*cking fight me, because I need you so damn much.” I pressed my forehead against hers, whispering, “Please tell me you won’t let me touch you, all the while really begging me to. Please tell me how you’ll never let me break you, all the while growing wet for me. Tell me anything, esclave.”

I removed my hand from hers, praying she’d fist and stroke me. My heart broke as her grip went limp.

I saw red.

Grabbing her throat, I squeezed, looking so deep into her eyes I swear I saw her f*cking soul. And it scared the shit out of me when I realized there was no soul to see. Nothing connected to mine—the mind link we shared was gone.

“Tess, please. I’m begging you.” Pressing my lips against hers again, I didn’t move, waiting, hoping she’d kiss me back.

One breath.

Two.

An agony of waiting for her to soften, accept my protection, my willingness to give her anything she wanted, but she stiffened in my grip. Her hot skin turned chilly; she withdrew even further. The bond we shared snipped free as she sucked whatever existed between us deep inside, leaving me in the dark, all alone, once more.

“Sparrow,” she whispered.

My world crunched to a halt; my heart stopped.

I didn’t think anything could hurt me so bone deep. I wanted to tear out my brain and never exist. That one word. It ruined me. Smashed me with a wrecking ball, leaving me in rubble, in pieces, in dust.