Perfect for You(44)

Lindsey reaches for me. “Ooh, pretty necklace. Where did you get it?”

Ash. My body stiffens. I haven’t taken the necklace off since he gave it to me. It’s the only piece of him I have left. Most of the time I keep it hidden under my shirt, but tonight I forgot.

“Was it a gift?” Lindsey presses.

I swallow hard. “Yeah.”

“Birthday?” She’s not letting this go.

“No.” I look at Noah quickly before tucking the necklace under my top. “Anniversary.”

Everyone goes quiet. They all know Noah and I haven’t been together that long. Not long enough to have an anniversary. That only leaves one option. Suddenly, I don’t feel like I fit in very well anymore.





Chapter Twenty


Noah’s arm slips from my waist, and he walks away without a word.

“Noah.” My voice is small, unsure.

“Go after him,” Lindsey says. “He needs to know you’re over the guy who gave you that.”

Emma, who’s been quietly observing the rest of us, hugs me. She whispers so only I can hear her. “Please, don’t hurt him. I’ve never seen him open up to a girl like this before. He really cares about you.” She pulls away and looks into my eyes, waiting for a reaction. I nod. I don’t want to hurt Noah, but I can’t exactly tell him what Lindsey wants me to either. I’m not over Ash. I need more time.

I walk off in the direction Noah went. I have an idea where he is. Noah has a thing for windows when he’s upset, and Nathan has a big bay window in his family room. Noah’s standing there, looking out. I walk up and wrap my arms around him from behind. I feel his chest expand and contract as he takes a deep breath and lets it out. He’s trying to stay calm for my benefit. I loosen my hold and walk around him, sitting on the window seat. I avoid his eyes for a moment, not wanting to see the hurt in them.

“Why do you still wear it?” he asks.

I can’t tell him the truth. It would crush him. “I don’t really know.”

“Don’t know or don’t want to say?”

I raise my eyes, but he’s staring over my head, out the window. “A little of both.” I want to be honest with him, but I care about him too much to dump my true feelings on him, knowing he’ll get hurt.

“What is that supposed to mean?” His eyes meet mine.

“Noah.” I reach for his hands. He doesn’t stop me, but he doesn’t lace his fingers through mine or grab onto me at all either. His hands are limp. “You and I got together right after Ash and I broke up. Right after. I never had time to get closure on the whole thing with Ash. I still don’t feel like I have it.”

“When we kissed in your room, you swore you weren’t doing it because of him. I told you I didn’t want to be the rebound guy.”

“I know, and I wasn’t lying. I wanted to kiss you, and that had nothing to do with Ash. You made me feel things for you that first day you talked to me. Those feelings were real. They still are.”

His fingers gently curve around mine. He believes me. “You’re still holding on to him though. That’s why you wear that necklace.”

“It’s my birthstone.”

“That’s not a good enough reason, Meg, and you know it.” He lets go of my hands. So much for making progress.

“You’re right. It’s not a good enough reason.” I take a deep breath, gathering all my courage. “He chose her over me. Liz. He wanted her. I guess this necklace reminds me that there was a time when I was the most important person to him.”

“You said it was an anniversary present. Didn’t you two break up on that anniversary? Wouldn’t that make it harder to wear that thing? Like it’s a constant reminder of him choosing Liz?” Now that he put it that way, the necklace does seem like an awful thing instead of a reminder of how important I used to be to Ash. But still, it’s all I have left of Ash.

“It’s stupid, I know. But in my warped mind, it makes some sense. I’m just not explaining it well.” I close my eyes, wishing I’d hidden the necklace under my shirt like I usually do. Then this wouldn’t be happening. Noah and I would be having a good time, and I wouldn’t be thinking about Ash.

Noah bends down in front of me. “Hey,” his voice is soft and sympathetic, “look at me.”

I open my eyes. I owe him this much.

“Do you care about me? Do you want to be with me?”

“Yes.” I don’t hesitate at all. I do have feelings for him. “We got together so soon. That’s all this is. I’ll get past what happened.” I hope.

“Do you want me to back off?” I can tell the words are hard for him to say.

“No. I want you right here. Right where you are.” I run my fingers through his hair, and he sighs.

“Am I ever going to have you the way he did?” He’s not talking about sex or anything like that. He wants to know if I’ll ever love him the way I loved Ash.

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t think that was possible.” It’s not the answer he’s hoping for, but I can’t lie to him.

“Is there anything I can do to help you get over him sooner? Get you to focus on us?”

“What was that advice you gave me? Avoid what’s messing me up?”