Perfect for You(40)

“I won’t let you turn into that person again, so get yourself together.” He squeezes my hand.

Maybe I did make a mistake. Looking at Noah now, he’s so sweet and he wants what’s best for me, even after I hurt him. “Noah, I’m sorry.”

He narrows his brow. “For what?”

“Everything. You’ve been so nice to me.”

“I pushed you, and I shouldn’t have. It’s just that you’re different from the other girls I’ve dated. Not that you and I dated. I mean—”

I put my finger to his lips, surprising us both. All this time, I’ve known Noah and I could have been a great match. But I didn’t let myself fully pursue that because of Ash. As much as I don’t want to, I still love Ash, and that only makes his betrayal hurt more. In the end, he chose to go to Liz. And Noah chose to come here. Even after I pushed him away, he’s still here for me. That has to mean something, doesn’t it? There’s only one way to know for sure if I chose the wrong guy. I lock my eyes on his as I lean forward, inching my lips toward his.

“Meg.” He turns away.

The tears are coming back. First I’m shot down by Ash and now Noah. I can’t take any more of this.

Noah faces me again, but keeps his distance. His chest is heaving like he’s fighting his body to keep from giving in to me. “I’ve wanted to kiss you since that night at the courts. You know that. I’ve given you so many opportunities to kiss me, and believe me, I still want to. But not like this. Not while you’re upset about Ash. I won’t let you use me to make yourself feel better.”

“That’s not what I’m doing. I wouldn’t do that to you.” How do I make him understand that while I still love Ash, I have feelings for him too? “After everything that’s happened with Ash, I think I might have made a mistake. Yes, you came on a little strong, but you never touched me without my consent. I don’t hold anything against you. I think you really care about me.”

“I do.” He takes one step toward me.

“I care about you, too. That’s why I couldn’t push you away sooner or tell you to leave me alone. I didn’t want to. I had feelings for both you and Ash.” My eyes lower to the floor. “I still do.”

He moves toward me and lifts my chin with his finger. “You swear this isn’t just about him?”

His face is so close, and all I can think about is pulling it closer. “I swear.” My skin prickles with anticipation of the kiss I know is coming, but he doesn’t move. That’s right. All along, he’s wanted the kiss to be my choice. I have to make the first move. Technically, I already did before he pulled away, but he wants me to do it again.

I reach forward, placing my hands on his waist. His eyes lower, like he can’t believe my hands are really on him. I tilt my head slightly to the right and meet his eyes as I lean toward his lips. I can’t help thinking of Ash for a split second, but I force him from my mind. I need to know if I’m supposed to be with Noah. I lean closer, brushing my lips lightly against his. His mouth parts, but he waits for me to deepen the kiss. My emotions let loose, and everything I’ve felt over the past few days rushes through me. I press my lips to his, harder, more demanding. The next thing I know, his hands are in my hair, my messy unwashed hair. I pull him to me, unable to get enough of him.

He moves us closer to my bed and we fall onto it. No. This is too much, too fast. I pull away, staring into his eyes. “I can’t.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” He stands up and crosses his arms, looking out my window.

“It’s okay. You don’t need to apologize.”

“Yes, I do. It’s just that…well, that was a hell of a kiss. Better than I imagined it would be. It sent me over the edge.” He turns to me. “But I know you need time to get over Ash. This is why I didn’t want to kiss you.”

I walk over to him. “I’m glad you did.” I mean it. The kiss proved I do care about Noah. It’s more than a crush. My heart is torn between two guys, but Noah is the one who’s been loyal to me, despite everything. I can’t ignore that.

His lips are back on mine before I have time to process what’s going on. I kiss him, letting myself get lost in the moment. This time he doesn’t move toward the bed. We stay standing. Where it’s safe.

He pulls away, breathless. “You really have to get to school before you’re ineligible to play in the match today.”

I look at the clock. He’s right. If I’m not there by midday, I won’t get credit for coming to school and I’ll be ineligible to play. “Give me five minutes to shower.”

“Make sure you hurry. We’re alone in your house and you’re going to be naked one room over. I won’t be able to control myself for that long.” Something about his honesty is refreshing.

I smile. “Don’t even think about it.” I feel the need to say that so he doesn’t get the wrong idea about my smile. I grab shorts and a shirt and rush to the bathroom. I take the quickest shower ever, throwing my wet hair up in a ponytail. I add some lip gloss, and I’m out the door. Noah is waiting in the hall.

“Sorry, I found myself creeping toward the bathroom. Good thing you came out when you did.”

I’m not used to a guy being this open about his urges. Ash always tried to mask them for my benefit. Ash. My stomach sinks at the thought of him. No, I can’t go there. “Let’s go.”