Loving Nicole (Savage Brothers MC #3)(51)

Bull stays a little longer. I’m grateful for the company. He finally gets up to leave; as he walks to the door he stops and turns back around to look at me.

“Nicole? Does anyone win if you don’t give in a little?”

“I…”

“Just think about it. I’ll check on you soon.”

He leaves. I’m left wondering how to get over the anger and resentment I have inside of me. I don’t really have an answer.





Chapter 31




Dragon


“Dragon man, the men are starting to ask questions,” Dance says coming into the main room of the club.

I’m sitting at the bar, doing what I’ve done almost every day for the last week; ever since my run-in with Nicole. Life doesn’t suck as bad if you’re drunk off your ass through most of it. Dance sits beside me and I wish he’d f*ck off.

“About what?” I say downing another shot.

“Shit, man, everything. You’ve not even had the vote about Crusher. The whole f*cking place is in limbo.”

“Fuck the club. It’s already cost me too much. You can have it. There, problem f*cking solved.”

“It hasn’t cost you shit. You haven’t even got off your drunk ass to go see your son in over a week. You haven’t been by to check on your woman. Not once man, that shit is wrong.”

“I check on my son,” I argue, because that shit needs to be shut down. The rest of it can go to hell.

“You call, you’ve not seen him one time, Drag. You and me? We know more than most how cold that shit is. Your boy needs you.”

“Nicole is there.”

“So? What the hell man, did you lose your f*cking balls in that explosion?”

I don’t answer him. Instead, I stare at my glass, contemplating another shot. What I don’t tell him, what I can’t tell him? Is simple. I can’t see Nicole and not touch her. I can’t handle the hate in her eyes, her coldness towards me. It’s just something I am not strong enough to survive again. If that makes me weak, whatever. It’s just another reason the club is in better hands with Dancer.

“Fuck it. You want to drink yourself into a bottle, do it, but don’t blame me if you lose any chance with your woman.”

Dancer walks off. I should celebrate. So I down another shot. How many does that make? It’s a little fuzzy.

“He’s right, you know.”

I turn at the quiet voice from the hall. Dani looks around the room carefully, and then slowly makes her way to the bar when she sees everyone has left. I’ve seen very little of her since things have gone down. The Dani of today is not the same bitter bitch; she’s afraid of her damn shadow. She wears clothes so baggie that you could fit three of her in them. Her hair is down and around her face, and the long sleeves hide her hands, completely. If I could bring Kavanagh back and kill the mother f*cker again, I would. Only this time I’d shoot his dick off first, because I don’t know what went down while he had Dani, but this woman screams of being raped.

“Right about what?” I ask, not looking at her, because even drunk I know she hates it when people look at her now.

“You need to wake Nicole up, prove to her you want her.”

“I’ve tried, she’s the one that sent me packing, D, not the other way around.”

“She’s hurt. All her life people have overlooked her, forgotten her, or just decided shit for her. You had to know what you did would hurt her.”

“What do you suggest?” I can’t believe I’m asking her for advice, but I figure she knows Nicole better than anyone, apparently even me.

“It’s time to grovel, big boy,” she says and I can almost see a flash of the old Dani, and shit, who knew that I would actually miss her.

“Grovel?” I ask putting my shot glass down.

“Beg, crawl, plead…surely those aren’t totally foreign words to you, Dragon.”

“Pretty damn close,” I admit honestly.

“Start with sending her flowers and a note saying you’re sorry you are an idiot.”

“An idiot?” I ask.

“What else do you call letting your pregnant wife think you were dead and then accusing her of having sex in a limo with another man?”

“I didn’t accuse her of that shit,” I argue holding my head down, because I know I’m wrong. I hadn’t even thought about it really, but in a way, I guess I did. I didn’t mean it, it was just the shock of opening the door and seeing that shit, and on top of all the other crap that had just gone down…Fuck.

“Get to work, Dragon. Don’t let me down, I need to believe there’s at least one good man left in this world,” she says getting up and walking carefully back towards the hall. She’s still not walking great, she has so many scars on her; it’s not funny, but I think the biggest ones are where people can’t see them. “You might think about cutting Zander some slack too, Dragon.”

“I don’t think so.” Yeah, that’s not going to happen.

“Everyone messes up, Dragon, apparently even you,” she says and then leaves.

It appears I need to grovel. I think I’ll start with a damn shower.

*

A couple hours later, I’m sober as hell. I can tell by the way my head is pounding. Still, I make it to the hospital in time for the last visitation time with my son. I thought Nicole would be there, but she’s not.