Loving Nicole (Savage Brothers MC #3)(46)

I get up. He’s saying nothing I’ve not been thinking, but seeing it and hearing it come from his self-righteous ass is more than I can handle.

“Get up, motherf*cker! You want to throw down with me, I’m ready for you. You need to step the f*ck away from my woman and let us work this out.”

Bull gets up and I get the satisfaction of knowing I’m going to beat his f*cking face in. Nailer gets between us and Hawk holds me back at the same time. Six makes sure he keeps Bull back.

“This ain’t the place boys. You’re going to get thrown out and Nicole needs you here. Both of you,” Nikki says.

She’s sitting over with Freak, Dancer, Carrie and several other men including Skull and Diesel. Why they are here, I have no idea. I know Nikki’s right, but I do not like it. I don’t like it at all. Still, I jerk loose from my brother’s hold and sit back down—still glaring at Bull.

“If you had done your job as club enforcer, I wouldn’t have had to take the steps I did.”

“What the f*ck are you going on about now?”

“How did someone get to our vehicles to put bombs on them? Mind telling me that shit?”

Bull’s eyes narrow and he stands up and walks two feet in front of me before leaning down to speak. “You need to make up your f*cking-bi-polar ass. You haven’t had me as club enforcer since my accident. I’ve been baby-sitting women or cleaning up after your ass. You put others in charge of security. Men who are trained in electronics and shit, but not hand to hand. So, don’t come after me with this shit-baggage now. Your club is a wreck? Look in the f*cking mirror.”

He’s right. I know it—at least partially. Some of the anger leaves me. I bend down, raking my hand over my head and take a deep breath. When I look back up at Bull, maybe he can see the difference in me because his stance relaxes a little.

“Everybody but Bull get out in the hall.”

“Drag…”

“Now motherf*ckers!”

When the room clears and I get shot with a few more death glares, I look up at Bull.

“You’re the one who started staying away from the club. How the f*ck can I depend on you if you’re not there?” I ask the question that’s been bothering me from day one.

“Newsflash, Dragon. I’m going through some shit. Doesn’t mean I won’t be here for the club, when shit goes down. You should know that man.”

My lips curl into a half smile. “Newsflash. You’re starting to sound like Nicole.”

“She’s a hell of a woman,” he says sitting down beside me and slapping me on the back.

“She sure as hell is. I f*cked up bad, man.”

“Yeah, you did.”

“Thanks for sugar-coating it.”

“She’ll come around brother, that woman loves you deep.”

“She kind of acts like she hates me right now.”

“She probably does,” Bull returns.

“Jesus, you’re just full of rainbows and shit aren’t you?”

“That’s me.”

“I can’t lose them man,” I say in an almost whisper, voicing the biggest fear I’ve ever had in my life. This is worse than when Nicole was shot… much worse. This time our son is with her. This time she hates me. I need to make things right. I need the chance to show her how much I love her and our child.

“I’m going to go get us some of that shit they call coffee around here. Do you want some?” Bull asks.

I look at him, our eyes locking and see the resentment is gone from Bull.

“Black.”

“You got it, Pres.”

He must have given the others all clear because they slowly begin to fall back in. I barely look up. How long has it been now? Surely we should have heard something by now. Bull comes back in and hands me my coffee. I take a drink and have to fight to swallow it. It tastes like swamp piss. Another twenty or thirty minutes go by before the doctor finally shows up.

“Family of Nicole West?”

All of us stand up. It feels right. We are a family. It even feels good having Bull beside me. This is why I fight to keep the Savage MC together. This right here.

“Nicole and the baby came out of the surgery. The baby is in serious, but stable condition in the NICU. One of his lungs collapsed…”

“Fuck…,” I can’t stop the word that pops out.

“I’ll be honest, Mr. West, I thought we would lose him. Your son is strong however, and he is a fighter. He’s holding his own and we have the lung re-inflated. He actually appears farther along than tests showed, which means there’s more bone and muscle mass to work with. We just have to take it day by day.”

“And Nicole?” I ask, my heart feeling as if it is trying to jump out of my chest.

“She’s doing well. She should be out of recovery soon and you can see her. If you follow me I can take you to see your child.”

I nod and follow him out. He leads me down the hall and another small corridor and then to the private unit. I put on gloves and a gown that the nurse hands me and then I put a mask over my face. My son is in a square thick Plexiglas tank with circles on one side that are protected and covered by a black rubber-like material. He’s so small. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything so small and he has so many wires and tubes running from him, it hurts to see. I can’t touch him. I can’t hold him. My hand would almost swallow him. Still, I hear the beating of his heart on one of the monitors and it sounds strong.