Loving Nicole (Savage Brothers MC #3)(45)

The doctor clears his throat, looks back between Dragon, me and Bull nervously, but continues.

“As I was saying, ideally we would prefer you to be another month along, but healthy babies are delivered every day at 28 weeks and above.”

My hand goes to my stomach and I rub it gently. I’m terrified. That’s probably the only reason I let Dragon come over and place his hand on top of mine, blanketing our child together. Now is not the time for our fight. We need to concentrate on the baby.

With that decision made, I look at the doctor.

“We chose this hospital based solely on the abilities of your NICU and reputation. So, I have to trust you. Doctor?”

“Yes?”

“Will my baby survive?”

“I can’t give you surety Mrs. We…Nicole. Based on the ultrasound and records you’re at twenty-seven weeks. This means the baby’s lungs are developing. He’s started producing a substance called surfactant. This will help keep the lungs inflated when he’s born. That increases his chances tremendously.”

I can’t stop the tears that come. It feels like all I’ve been doing lately is crying, but none have been more terrifying than these. I can’t lose my baby. I can’t. Up until this point I thought they would be able to stop it. I know that’s na?ve, I should have known when my water broke, but I was still functioning with hope—you would think after the last two weeks, hope would have fled.

“Nicole, babies are amazing in their resilience. Today, a preemie that was born at twenty-eight weeks is having this G.I. tube removed and eating completely on his own.”

His words should bring me comfort, and they do in a way. Still, I picture this tiny baby with tubes and wires and the tears fall again.

“We’re going to prepare a surgical room for a cesarean. I know you wanted a natural child birth, but we want the delivery to be as comfortable and stress free as possible for the baby.”

“O…okay.” I’m doing my best to hold the tears back, but I can’t. One hand is grasping Bull’s and the other is still allowing Dragon to hold it. I’m weak.

The doctor gives me a kind smile and then leaves. My eyes close; the tears still falling and I try to breathe slowly. I don’t want Little Dragon to know I’m upset. I’m sure he’s had enough of that lately. Dragon kisses my tears. I want to melt into him and trust him to make it all better, but I can’t. I can’t trust him. He betrayed me. I turn my face away to look at Bull. He squeezes my hand.

I need someone to tell me it will be okay. No one can. So I pray.

I just pray.





Chapter 27




Dragon


I may be in hell and it’s what I deserve. I’m just starting to see how deep the hurt I’ve brought to Nicole has gone. I did what I had to do for the good of the club. Trouble is picking the club over Nicole, may have caused me to lose her. At the time it seemed like a brilliant plan. Brilliant because I’m f*cking stupid.

I needed to shut Kavanagh down, I needed to do it quickly. When Crusher called and said he had Dani, I knew it was just a matter of time before the viper tried to strike again. I wanted him to think he had won. I wanted to lure him into attacking on a day and time of my choosing. It took a lot of work, but losing Frog was the last straw. I had no choice, my club has been going to hell for way too long. I needed to get back to the President I was before Nicole. I’ve become too relaxed, which implies weakness, and in turn gets people killed. So I made my choice. I pulled in Dancer and Skull and the rest of the crew, and kept Crusher and Bull in the dark because their heads were not in the game. I made that choice. Crusher has f*cked up and gone against my orders too many damned times for me to trust him. Bull? Fuck, I don’t even know where his head is at, but I do know as club enforcer, he should have made sure our vehicles were safe and security at the church should have been double what it was. Those are just plain facts. So I made a motherf*cking choice I didn’t want to. It’s what a President does. It’s one I should have made sooner and because I didn’t, we lost a man—a good man.

Still, making that choice came at a cost. I know it hurt Nicole. I know it tore her heart out. I saw it firsthand. Watching her hurt and grieve tore me up inside. I watched her from a distance, I held her after she fell asleep, all the time repeating in my head that I was making it safe for her and the baby.

I never dreamed the stress could make her go into labor. The doctor said it could have been a number of things, but stress puts her at high risk. This is on me. Did choosing my club cost me my woman and my child? These thoughts keep going over and over in my head while I sit in this damned waiting room. They took Nicole back a few minutes ago. She didn’t even talk to me. I look over at Bull. She held his f*cking hand the entire time. Who the f*ck does he think he is.

“You shouldn’t be here.”

“Nicole wants me here.”

“She’s upset. She doesn’t know what she wants right now.”

“Who the f*ck has her upset? The way I see it, of the two of us, you’re the one who should be gone.”

“Motherf*cker, that’s my woman.”

“From where I’m sitting a man protects his woman. He makes sure she always knows she’s his. He doesn’t put her through hell and expect her to be okay with it. That does not happen.”