Loving Nicole (Savage Brothers MC #3)(56)

“I…know. It’s just after having him as a part of me for so long, it all feels empty now. I want to hold him, Dragon, feed him and rock him to sleep. Just be a mom to him.”

I kiss her forehead, because I don’t know what else to say to that. She should have all those things. Hell, we both should. I don’t like leaving Little D behind any more than she does.

“It’s been a good day, Dragon,” she says when we pull apart, but she still holds my hand.

“Let me come in, Mama. Don’t send me home without you.”

Her tongue darts out to run along the bottom of her lip and her eyes freeze on mine. I’ve never been the type of man to ask. I’ve never been the type of man to wait on a woman, but Nicole is not just any woman. She’s mine.

“Dragon, I…I need to think about things. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? At the hospital?”

I want to scream no. I don’t. I pull her in one last time, then let go of her hand to slide mine along the side of her hips. I let my fingers travel under her shirt so I can feel her skin. I need that touch to sustain me. She is, and always will be, my drug of choice.

“Tomorrow then Mama, if that’s what you want.” I whisper against her lips and then slowly kiss her. Not giving her my passion, but trying to show her how much love I have for her. I need her to know that she is….everything.

When the kiss finally ends she studies me closely then, breaks away to go inside. I stand there until I see the upstairs light come on.

“Everything been okay tonight?” I call out into the night.

Nailer and Hawk come around from each side of the house.

“Yeah Boss, no signs of anything,” Hawk responds.

“You really expecting trouble?” Nailer asks.

“Can’t be sure, but I want my woman protected at all times. So you yahoos look alive.”

“You got it,” Hawk says as they go back into position.

I go climb on my bike, trying to figure out how to get my woman home. I could be totally wrong, but I think when Daddy Kavanagh learns his son is missing he’s going to be looking for him. I need to be prepared and that means having my family close.





Chapter 34




Nicole


I am exhausted. Between fending off Dragon’s increasingly sexual advances the last several weeks and being here at the hospital twenty-four seven, I’m drained. The bright spot of everything is that Dom is being moved to a regular crib tonight. If he manages to stay warm and do okay in it for a couple of nights, I get to bring him home. He’s grown so much, but he’s still smaller than any baby I’ve seen. Last night a baby died that had been in the incubator beside Dom. My heart broke for Sarah—the mom. She was a single parent and had zero support. I gave her my number, I’m hoping she’ll stay in touch, but I’m afraid seeing Dom may be too much for her.

Dom is doing so good now. I get to hold him and feed him. I breastfeed before I go home, and we use my milk in bottles during visiting hours. I don’t like using the bottles, so I’ve thought about breastfeeding all the time, but Skull, and even that guy Diesel, is still around and they pop in all the time. I’m pretty sure Dragon would kill both of them if they walked in while I was breastfeeding. Especially since I haven’t even let Dom feed in front of him.

It’s weird; I’m nervous around Dragon now. I don’t know how to act sometimes. I love him. I want to fix what is between us, but I’m afraid, terrified actually. He promises I don’t have to worry about him ever doing something like this to me again. He tells me he’s sorry, but I don’t think he gets how deeply he wounded me. In the back of my mind I can’t help thinking he will keep something else from me. Or worse, he’ll just make a decision, do it and not tell me, and leave me and Dom alone, on our own. My brain is a jumble of emotions when it comes to Dragon, and I can’t trust myself around him. Ever since the doctor cleared me for sex, I have been pushing him away. I crave him and if I don’t keep him at a distance? I’m going to give in. It’s a miracle I haven’t already. I watch as he leans down and kisses Dom’s head. It’s a beautiful picture. This strong badass biker covered in tats and wearing a leather cut, bending down and being so delicate with his son. I wish I had a photo of it; Dom needs to see that. I vow to take a picture of it soon, so I can put it up in Dom’s nursery, whenever I move out of Dance and Carrie’s house. I should have already been looking for a place, but there just never seems to be enough time. Plus, every time I mention it Dragon goes a little crazy. He doesn’t understand why I won’t come home. I’m not even sure I understand. I do know the reasons are all summed up in one word. Fear.

“You ready to go, Mama?”

“Go?” I ask, because I drove here. I’m not sure what he’s got up his sleeve now, but again the word fear comes to mind.

“I thought we could go look at cribs for Dom and fix his room up at the club.”

Oh boy.

“Uhh…Dragon I’m bringing him home with me….to Dancer and Carrie’s.”

Dragon’s face goes solid, like I’m watching and it turns to stone—granite even. You can just see this mask of hardness come over him.

“Let’s go. We’ll talk in the car.”

“Dragon, I drove here.”