Love's Suicide (Love's Suicide #1)(54)

After the parade, we retreated to the area where the food stands had been set up. Bobby insisted on standing in line and getting a funnel cake to share with B and me. I was reluctant for the reason that I knew she’d be covered in powdered sugar and ruin her pretty clothes, but her dad said all he cared about was her having fun and being happy. What makes a child happier than a handful of sugar?



While we were standing there, I looked around the crowd for people that we knew from town and from church. Everyone was in attendance, and even though our town was small, it was still a huge crowd that came from all around to celebrate.

From a distance I spotted the military truck and the soldiers climbing out of it. I squinted my eyes and attempted to focus enough to spot the guy that reminded me of Brooks.

I followed the group of them walking through the crowds of people and tried to single out each of their faces. From far away they all looked the same, unless they were a different race.

We moved up in our line and my view of them became restricted. I felt like I had to keep looking, as if seeing this guy would reassure me that I was acting and being crazy again. I knew it wasn’t Brooks, but I had to see it for myself.

When four of them came back into view they were getting closer. I caught eyes with each one and didn’t see the guy that had gotten me so worked up.

By the time we got served our drink and dessert, the men had walked by and I was left with disappointment.

We found a spot in the grass and sat down so that our food would cool and B would be comfortable. She played in the grass, picking some and tossing it in the air. A group of balloons had gotten loose and were rising in the blue sky above us. B stood up and pointed to them. When they got up higher, she went running into the crowd of people. I stood up and ran after her, knowing she was going to get knocked down by someone that didn’t see her coming. I could hear Bobby saying something behind me when I caught up to her and snatched her up in my arms. While hugging her and explaining that she couldn’t do that again, I spotted the soldier that I’d been looking for. He had a sling on his arm. From the side he looked so much like Brooks, but with short hair and a hat, anyone could look similar. I smiled and turned to see Bobby coming and reaching for B, and when he grabbed her I flipped my hair and looked over one more time, hoping to see the face of the Brooks look alike.

That’s when everything went very wrong very fast.

The guy turned, enough for me to see his face and the resemblance was uncanny. He was still far enough away and I knew part of it was because I wanted it to be him so much.

I finally caught eyes with him and felt myself getting dizzy. The next thing I knew I was lying down on the grass with a bunch of people around me. I sat up quickly, looking out frantically for the soldier, but he wasn’t anywhere around me.

This was the second year in a row that I’d passed out over seeing a soldier. I seriously needed mental help.

“Katy, are you alright, darlin’? You passed out?”

I nodded and looked over to see him holding B’s hand. “I don’t know what happened.” I lied.

The truth was that I’d gotten myself so worked up that I made myself believe that Brooks was not only alive, but in the same small town as me, walking around as if nothing had happened.

“Do you want to go home?”

I felt horrible and going home would have been the best medicine, except I wanted B to see the fireworks. “No. I’ll be fine. I didn’t eat all day and I felt dizzy.”

Bobby took B and went to get me something to eat, while I sat under a tree feeling like an idiot.

Sarah came running up, seeing if I was alright. “Girl, what happened to you? Bobby said you collapsed. Are you feelin’ alright? Do you think you’re pregnant?”

“No. I’m not pregnant. I just got my period yesterday.”

“What is it then? Were you feelin’ bad? Do you think it’s the heat?”

It was pretty hot out, but I knew that the weather wasn’t the reason for me losing my head again. “No. I think I’m just going crazy. Sarah, I could have sworn I saw Brooks. I know it wasn’t him and that he’s gone, but I swear it was him.” I started to get upset. “What is wrong with me? Why can’t I just let go? Every time I feel like I’m doing good, something brings me right back down.”

She wrapped her arms around me. “Healin’ takes time, Katy. You of all people should know that. Sometimes, you need to take a deep breath and thank God for all the things you do have in your life.” She pointed to Bobby and B. “You’ve got two people right there that love you to pieces. Maybe instead of dwelling on the things you can’t change, you could focus on the beautiful life you already have.”

I smiled at her. “I do love them, you know. Bobby’s been my knight in shining armor. Without him I don’t know where I’d be.”

She patted me on the leg. “I’m glad you gave him another chance. He seems real happy.”

I looked up and saw them walking toward me. Bobby smiled and I did too. “We both are.”

They sat down beside me and B had an ice cream that she was licking. “More chocolate?”

Bobby kissed me on the cheek. “Anything for my girl.”

He handed me a sandwich and opened one for himself. Sarah stood up as I bit into mine and savored the pit beef and barbeque sauce.