Love's Suicide (Love's Suicide #1)(111)

“She wanted you to call? So you weren’t going to?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Yeah. You didn’t. So, do you want me to head over to your place when I get off?”

My throat was burning with the things that I wanted to say to him, but couldn’t. I couldn’t keep him from seeing B, even if I was conflicted about my life. I’d never do that to him. “Yes. There’s a hidden key attached to a magnet underneath the fender to the riding mower. It’s in the shed. That key opens the front and kitchen door. I have no idea what’s there to eat, but help yourself. We’ll call when we get close.”

“I can’t wait to see you. We’re going to get through this, Kat.”

I was shaking so badly, hiding my sobs by covering the phone so he couldn’t hear me. “Okay.” It was all I could manage to get out.

“Don’t you dare give up on us. I know what you’re doing.”

“I’m not doing anything,” I said defensively.

“You’re pushing me away because you think it’s the right thing to do. You think you caused all of this to happen. Katy, you didn’t make him put that bottle to his mouth. You didn’t make him raise his hand to a woman. He did all of that himself. I know you feel guilty, but he could have chosen other paths. He didn’t have to viciously hunt you down and you know it. If he found my parents address, he very well could have gotten their phone number. Please, Kat, just think about it. We all know you’d never hurt someone intentionally. You did what you had to do to get free. You said it yourself.”

“He’s dead because of me. Nothing you say will change that. Now, I’ve got to come home and face all of the people that loved him. They never believed he did those things to me, so they’ll never understand that this was an accident.”

“He was drunk. It was confirmed through blood tests. Those people can say whatever they want, but they can’t deny the damn truth.” He was getting angry with me and I didn’t know what to say to comfort him.

He didn’t run away and become rescued by Sarah and Dave. As much as they’d done for me, I couldn’t stand imagining telling them that their very best friend was gone. The ache in my heart was excruciating to bear.

Brooks got quiet on the phone. I knew it was because he was frustrated. I was more frustrated with myself.

“I love you, so much,” he whispered.

I should have been prepared to hear it. He never said goodbye without those words. I should have been able to handle it without breaking down. “I love you, too.” It would never be a lie. No matter what happened, I’d never love another man. That was the only thing I was completely positive about.

“I’ll be there waiting for you tonight. We’ll get through this together. I promise.”

I smiled through my tears, knowing he was making me a promise.

We hung up and I closed my eyes. I could still see Brooks and I together in my future, but there was this big wall blocking me from being able to have it and I didn’t know how to break it down.





Chapter 53


I had to give credit to Danica. She drove us, all the way through to South Carolina, only stopping for bathroom breaks. We were starving and I was exhausted. I’d fought so hard to stay awake to be able to occupy B and keep Danica company.

I wanted to close my eyes and drift away from anything but thinking about my life. No matter what I looked at, or what song was playing on the radio, I thought of Brooks and Bobby and how my whirlwind affair had cost me so much pain.

What hurt the most was knowing that I could have prevented it.

When we pulled up at the house, and I saw a strange vehicle, I knew Brooks was there waiting for us. He was going to want to talk to me again and I wasn’t prepared for it.

I still had calls to make and a company to meet in the morning that I was paying to transport Bobby’s body home. His family, who was extremely saddened by the news, had no idea that we’d been having problems and I worried that when they found out, it would change things.

I had to keep the peace.

It was difficult for me to get in and out of the car by myself, while still feeling pain. I should have known he’d be there to open the door for me. Seeing him standing there made my body immediately warm. His eyes were on mine as were his lips. I closed my eyes and savored the way it felt. “I missed you.”

I let my lips linger against his until we heard B. “Daddy. Me get out.”

Brooks left me standing there so he could pull B out of the back. “There’s Daddy’s, bug. Did you miss me?”

Once she was freed, he let her climb out on her own. Her hand found his and then his other was on my back as I hobbled along.

Danica grabbed her bag and followed us into the house.

I don’t know why I expected it to be as I’d left it. Brooks squeezed my hand when he heard me gasp. “I’ve been cleaning since I got here. I didn’t want you to see it like this.”

My beautiful, brand new home looked like it had been vandalized. Plates were broken, cabinet doors had been pulled off the hinges. Brooks helped me into the living room and the television screen had a huge crack in it. I could see where he’d picked up, but even noticed the curtains were ripped away from the walls.

I ventured further inside of my house, until I reached my bedroom door. Brooks put his hand over the doorknob. “Kat, let’s get you settled first.”