Love Survives (Love's Suicide #2)(110)

I could hear her sobbing on the other end of the call. “Yes. It’s me.”

“Please don’t cry.”

“I can’t sleep. All I keep thinking about is being without you. I feel so sick over it. My head is all over the place. I feel like everything is my fault, but I also know that there’s no possible way I could ever give up on us. I just feel so lost, Brooks.”

This was such a relief to me. I couldn’t bear it either.

“Babe, I’m not going anywhere. I promised you that no matter what happened I’d stick around, and I meant it. You’ve got a lot going on, but in time you’re going to see the big picture. You’re going to know without a doubt that we should be together. I know I get hardheaded about you. It’s only because I’ve waited so long to start our life together. Now we’ve got a little girl to raise. As much as I hate that you’ve got baggage, it doesn’t mean I’ll give up. Nobody is going to come my way and take your place. You have my heart, Kat. You always have. Please calm down. I hate it when you’re so upset.”

“I know I love you and I know I’m supposed to be with you. That’s never been my problem.”

“Yeah, I know. I feel the same way.”

“Will I see you tomorrow?” It was music to my ears.

“Do you want to see me?”

“Of course.” My stomach started turning with excitement. Our time apart had helped her calm down.

I got out of the truck and walked up to the side door, opening it while I spoke. “How about now?”

Kat was smiling when our eyes met. “I thought you left?”

We both hung up our phones at the same time.

“I did. I drove around for a while and then came back, seeing as I had a feeling you were going to need me. I can see now that I was right.”

“What if I didn’t call?”

I shrugged. “I’ve slept in worse places than a truck. I would have gotten up and drove in to work. I wasn’t leaving you three girls here alone. Since you obviously needed some space, I gave it to you.”

“Your mom was nice. We talked for a bit. I told her about Bobby. I may have left out a few details, but she knows everything there is to know. I can’t tell whether she hates me or not. I think I already hate myself enough for the both of us.”

“She doesn’t hate you. Didn’t she tell you that you were her daughter, just a few days ago?”

“That was before she knew I was a lying, married, awful person.”

“Do you hear yourself?”

“It’s true.”

“You lied because I asked you to. I told you to keep it from them because I thought it would be easier. I didn’t know Bobby would show up, and if I had, we could have been prepared.”

She pointed to the living room seats. “Will you come sit with me?”

“Will you let me?” I didn’t want to overstep her boundaries.

“I’ll always let you. Stop asking such stupid questions. You never have to ask me.”

I kicked off my boots before sitting down next to her. “Come here.” I put my arm around her and pulled her down against my chest. “Try to get some rest.”

Our hands laced together as she got comfortable “Please don’t go anywhere, Brooks.”

“You are on top of me. I don’t see how I could sneak out without you noticing.”

“Will you tell me a story that I’ve never heard?”

“Let’s see. Can it be about anything?”

She nodded. It felt great to have her in my arms. This was where she belonged.

“Before I left for boot camp, I asked Branch if he planned on marrying you someday. I don’t know why I did it. I guess maybe I just needed that push to tell me that I was doing the right thing by leaving. At any rate, he told me that as long as I wanted you, he’d have you. Do you believe that cock sucker said that?”

She laughed. “Yeah. I do.”

“Anyway, that’s not the best part of the story. While he thought he’d damaged my ego, I laughed, thinking about the two times that I’d been with you that nobody knew about. Then I said the first thing that popped into my head. I asked him if he was alright with knowing that when you were with him if it bothered him that you pretended it was me.” I cackled to myself. “You don’t have to tell me if you ever did that, but it made me feel better saying it to him.”

“I’m sure it pissed him off.”

“Yeah. It didn’t matter. I left, and he got to be with you. He got to live with you and spend countless hours in your presence while I was so far away from everyone.”

“How did you get through it?” She asked.

“I thought of you. I drew pictures of you and wrote you letters that I never sent. I hooked up with other soldiers, but they weren’t anything spectacular. To be honest, I stayed busy most of the time. It wasn’t until I was in bed thinking of you that it got hard.”

“It broke my heart when you left. I felt like I was being punished.”

“My brother fooled us both. Don’t let it get to you. We’re together now, Kat.”

“Please be patient with me, Brooks. I know I said I couldn’t move forward, but I also can’t lose you. I just feel like I ended his life. I feel responsible and I’ve got to work that out on my own. You understand, don’t you?”