Love Survives (Love's Suicide #2)(106)

I had to leave the room, not because I wanted to get away from her, but because I wasn’t able to control my need to break down completely. I waited until I reached the stairs before burying my face into my hands.

When I arrived at the house I didn’t climb into my own bed to sleep. Instead I found comfort sleeping next to my little girl. It killed me knowing I had to leave, but I didn’t have the resources to take her with me. While she nestled her warm body against mine I sat up watching her breathe. I played with a ringlet on her head, twisting it around my finger. Tears streamed down my face while I silently strained to acknowledge the fact that I was leaving them behind. Somehow, after being apart for two years, a five day separation seemed like too long to be away from them.

When she began to stir I rested my head down and pulled her close. She opened her eyes briefly and smiled. “Daddy.”

“I’m here, baby. Daddy’s never going to leave you again. I promise.” I didn’t mean that I wasn’t heading back to South Carolina. I mean that once she was home, we’d be together forever. “I love you so much.”

That night I cried myself to sleep, much like the night when I was a teenager and found out Kat had picked Branch over me. Mistake or not, it broke me. I swore I’d never feel that pain again, but it had repeated throughout my life, all surrounding around my love for Kat. Now it wasn’t just my love for her that made all this so hard. My little girl had become my reason to smile. I was going to miss both of them so much.

That next morning I hugged my family goodbye, managing to keep it together until after I kissed my daughter and turned around. When I arrived at the hospital I wasn’t much better.

Kat was eating her breakfast. She sat her fork down when I came into the room. “Hey, you.”

“Hey.” I leaned down to kiss her. “I wanted to come by before I left. I’m going to drive straight through.”

“Will you call me when you arrive? I’ll be worried.”

“Of course. Don’t fret. As soon as I’m on base I’ll make sure to call. You’ll be at Mom and Dad’s by then. I heard him saying he was going to move some things around to fit the wheelchair. Your biggest obstacle will probably be our daughter. She’s going to want a ride constantly.”

Kat smiled. “I know you’re mad at me right now, Brooks. You have every right to be. I wish I could change how I feel about this. I think I just need time. I’ve got to make calls, and arrangements. I’ll be responsible for getting his body shipped home. I’m not looking forward to dealing with his family.”

“Just keep in mind that you didn’t do this to him. I don’t give a shit what you think about it. He chose to come here and put your lives in danger. He chose to hurt you, over and over again. Nothing you say will change that.”

Kat looked away. I knew she was upset with what I was saying, but I was getting sick of watching her blame herself for everything. People are responsible for their own actions. She didn’t beg to be beaten, and she certainly didn’t invite him to kidnap her from my parent’s residence. “Brooks, please don’t do this when you’re getting ready to leave.”

“Why? It’s how I feel.”

“What if something happens? What if this is our last conversation?”

Then I realized she was afraid of me driving. Of course, she’d just been in an accident. It was expected that she’d assume the worst. “Baby, I’m not going anywhere. When I get there I’m going to call and prove it to you. Nothing is going to keep us from having a future. You keep that in mind while we’re apart.”

She shook her head to agree. I could tell she was choking back her tears.

I kissed her one more time. “I’ve got to get on the road. I love you with all my heart. You better miss me.”

When I left the room, I knew she wasn’t okay. The longer I stayed the more I wished I didn’t have to go at all. While Kat had things to do regarding Bobby, I had other plans that needed attention. Like it or not, I was going to move in with her. Her regret wasn’t going to force me away.

Before leaving the area, I had one more stop. I’d managed to get in with the doctor at the Bethesda medical center to evaluate my injury. I wasn’t in there for more than fifteen minutes and had enough information to know that I wasn’t going to regain full use of my hand. My injury was permanent. I’d never be cleared to operate military issued weapons again.

The drive was difficult since I hadn’t slept at all, and I got news that would basically end my career.

I stopped three times to get a fresh coffee. By the time I made it to base the sun had gone down. I pulled out my phone before exiting the vehicle.

My mom answered Kat’s phone. “Hello?”

“Hey, mom. Is Kat around?”

“Are you there safe?”

“Yeah, I just pulled in.” I yawned. “That drive is hard alone.”

“I bet. Here she is.”

“Hey you. I guess you’re there.”

“I am. I miss you already. Is that crazy?”

“No. They released me to go before lunch time. I’ve been sitting here wanting to call you all day. B misses you. I can tell. She keeps looking in your room and asking when you’ll be back.”

“If I could, I’d drive all night to get back to you.”