Love Survives (Love's Suicide #2)(112)

I’d already started walking back outside to get more. “If I’m going to be living here, then I need to pitch in.”

When I came in again I noticed she was already going through the first set of items I’d brought in. She seemed so delighted, and I couldn’t help but smile. Finally I’d done something right. “I can’t believe you did all this. Did you take off early?”

“No. I ordered it all on the computer and it was ready when I got off. Mom suggested it.”

Kat seemed pretty shocked. “This is pretty amazing. I can’t believe you did this.”

I sat down beside her and ran my hand over the soft part of her face. “I’d do anything to see you smile, Kat. Put your feet up and start opening packages. I’ve got to go back outside and help my buddies with something.”

“Your buddies?”

We all took a corner and began carrying the heavy mattress in through the doorway, and then to the bedroom. I couldn’t see Kat’s face, but I was pretty sure she was shocked.

After we got that positioned, we then carried in a new area rug to take place of the ruined one. The whole time they were in the house I couldn’t wait for them to leave so I could give all my attention to my girls.

I saw my friends out and thanked them, promising a case of beer to each for their assistance. Once I was back inside, I picked up Kat and carried her into the bedroom, sitting down on the soft mattress beneath her.

“So, how does it feel? The Internet said it’s the most sold bed in America. The rug is even softer than the one we had to throw away. It matches all the new bedding. Mom picked them out based on what you had before.”

The memory foam made me excited to sleep at night. I hoped she liked that kind of comfort. Her old mattress felt kind of hard. “It’s great, but there’s just one problem.”

“What? Too soft? I know some people like a bed to be firm.”

“No. It’s too comfortable. I don’t see how you’re ever going to get any action when I fall asleep as soon as my back hits the bed.”

I laughed before pulling her close to me. “Am I allowed to kiss you or are we still waiting?”

She closed her eyes and separated her lips just enough to tell me she was ready. “Waiting only prolongs the inevitable.”

I kissed her slowly, running my wet lips over hers. “I don’t think I have to worry about you falling asleep on me. I know ways to keep you alert and ready.” Right as I began to run my hand between her legs the door came open and in popped B.

“Hey, Daddy will be outside in just a second. I need to talk to Mommy about something first. Go on with Mom-mom and I’ll meet you there.”

She hopped down and went looking for her grandmother. When Kat met my stare I think she saw the intent in my eyes. I wanted her.

She still kept me from touching her there. “What’s wrong with you?” I questioned.

“Don’t you dare do it. I need time, Brooks. I can’t just spit on a grave that hasn’t even been dug yet.”

I just shook my head. Sure I was disappointed, but I was willing to wait. “Look, now I get that you’re worried I’m going to push you, but I won’t push for that. Kat, I will wedge myself so far into your life that you won’t be able to get rid of me, but I wasn’t going to ask you what you think I was. In fact, I wasn’t going to ask you anything.”

“Sorry. What was it?”

“While you were in the hospital, I stopped by and had my appointment with the medical board. It seems that my injuries are more severe than I thought. They’re going to have to do surgery, and they’re not real sure that they can fix the damage.” I was lucky to be seen in Bethesda on such short notice, but after they’d examined my records they knew what the results would be. I think they also appreciated that they weren’t going to have to fly me out there since I was already in the area.



I saw her looking down at the scars on my arm. “What does that mean?”

“Well, depending on a few factors, I may not be able to stay on active duty. I know I can’t pass a normal physical evaluation. Without feeling in my hand and arm, I can’t operate the machinery that I was trained to use.”

“You said it didn’t bother you.”

“It doesn’t. For the most part, I can’t feel much of anything. I just assumed that it was alright. But I can tell that sometimes I lose the feeling and control over it.”

She put her hand over her mouth. “Jesus, you picked me up before. You just carried a mattress. What were you thinking?”

I lifted my fingers up to run them over her lips. “I was thinking that I’d waited my whole life to be with you and hold a child that we shared together. When the opportunity was in front of me, I couldn’t refuse it.”

“So, it’s our fault you may not be able to work?”

I shook my head. She was just being silly now. “Even if it was, I wouldn’t be mad. I’ve got plans for us, Kat, and they don’t involve the military. Getting out wouldn’t be that bad. I could get a job and we’d be fine.”

“I still can’t believe that you want to be with me. So much has happened. If you were smart, you would have forgotten about me a long time ago.”

“We’re a family. I’ve doubted myself for many reasons in my life, but deciding to love you was never something I ever considered giving up. That probably makes me a fool. I really don’t care what anyone thinks about it. We can be something beautiful together and that’s all I need to know.”